Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

What are YOU doing about the garter toss?

I know it's tradition, but the garter toss kind of creeps me out.  I feel like having my new husband rooting around in my skirt is something I'd rather NOT have happen in front of our family.  I still want to toss my bouquet.  THAT seems okay, primarily because I don't have to publicly search through my sweetie's pants to find it.
Am I being prudish?  Is it okay to have a bouquet toss and not a garter toss, or is that a double standard?
What did you ladies do?  :)

Re: What are YOU doing about the garter toss?

  • Some people aren't okay with it, so they don't do it.  No biggie.  We're doing it though.

    You could push the garter down to your ankle and just have him slip it off your foot, or he could wear it around his shirt sleeve and then take it off, or out of his pocket.  Or, just not do it at all.  It's all good!
    Follow my book blog: Panda Reads
    Follow me on Goodreads: my read shelf:
    Sandra's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • I think it depends.  Some brides put it around their knee just before, and the groom only goes in with his hands instead of his whole self.

    I was at a wedding with my FMIL this summer, and it was the first time she had seen it.  She was mortified!  But I think she's getting more comfortable with the idea.

    We're still undecided on this one.
  • I am trying to keep the wedding classy so we aren't doing it. 

    Saying that, it's completely up to you, if you like it and it fits your theme then do it.  If you don't, then don't!.  :)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • We didn't do a garter toss, I didn't even wear one.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • We did not have either tosses.  I didn't even wear a garter

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • If you did want to do a toss you could ask him to keep it clean since your families will be there and just reach his hand up quick or like one of the other posts said put it on your ankle and have him pull it off from there
  • We're doing the toss but I'll have the garter right above my knee and I'll pull my dress up to there so he can just pull it off. He will not be going up under my dress to find it...
    Two souls and one thought, two hearts and one pulse imageAnniversary
  • I don't have a problem with him taking it off, we just got married, I think it's ok for him to touch my thigh!  I'm not concerned with people finding that uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable having the guy who cought the garter put it on some poor girls leg, that is awkward!
  • We are not doing it. A bunch of people cat-calling as a guy goes up a girl's skirt is not my idea of a perfect day.

    Here's the origin of the tradition:
    Brides originally tossed a garter, rather than a bouquet, at a wedding reception. In the 14th century, this custom changed after Brides became tired of fighting off drunken men who tried to remove the garter themselves! According to one legend, the garter toss in England evolved from an earlier tradition of "flinging the stocking". On their wedding night, guests would follow the Bride and Groom to their bedroom, wait until they undressed, steal their stockings, and then "fling" them at the couple! The first person to hit the Bride or Groom on the head would supposedly be the next person to marry.
  • I want to do the garter toss. It's tradition! My dad did it with my mom and so on. My fiance is totally against it, he thinks the whole idea is ridiculous. So we're still debating.

    However I love the history! And I'm so glad its a garter and not someone coming in during the wedding night to steal our stockings!!!!
  • Thanks for sharing with me, ladies!  :)
  • There's no law saying you have to do one just because you throw the bouquet. It really is fine to just do your toss and skip the garter (Which is a growing trend from what I gather).

    I did not want to do a garter toss, mainly because while I'm okay with FI rooting around under my dress, I am NOT ok with all of our friends and family looking on while he does so. I was fine with him just having a garter in his pocket or something.

    We wound up talking it over, and we realized that with the exeption of like 3 guests, everybody in attendance is either married, engaged, or in a really serious relationship (To the point that they wouldn't get up to participate), so we decided to just scrap both.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • We're not doing it. I'm not doing a bouquet toss either. I never enjoy either as a guest. I doubt anyone will miss it or ask about it.

    However, some people have a "toss garter" like a "toss bouquet" that the groom can keep in his pocket, so it's not a sweaty ordeal to get it off.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)

  • We're doing the garter toss just for tradition.  He will not be getting all up in my skirt though.  I'll have it low on my thigh and then probably pull up my dress so he can easily get it off.  No rauchiness at our wedding.
  • FI is TOTALLY uncomfortable with it, so we're not doing it.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I'm leaving the decision up to FI.  I think he wants to do it.
  • We're not doing it. We'll have a lot of older family members attending and I really don't want to offend them by having him get all up on me in front of them. I think I'll end up scratching the bouquet toss as well, because it's kind of silly to me to buy (or make) another bouquet just to throw and I'm not sure how many girls would even participate. So it's meh. We'll do our first dances and start partying!
  • We're probably going to do both tosses. But will keep it clean. I'm a big baseball fan, and we're actually planning on playing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the reception. I have to run this by FI, but I'd like to make both tosses quick and simple, do them together.  Have the girls on one side, guys on the other, and play Take Me Out to the Ballgame...He'll remove the garter during the first few lines of the song, we'll get in place throughout the middle lines, and throw the bouquet and garter on the line "For it's 1-2-3 strikes you're out at the old ballgame!" It's a 30 second song, there's not much he can do if we need to be in place to toss! 
  • We decided against it.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I hate that "history" that's floating around the internet.  It's historically inaccurate.  
    Follow my book blog: Panda Reads
    Follow me on Goodreads: my read shelf:
    Sandra's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • We're not doing it. My fiance thinks it's trashy and tacky, and I agree after seeing several videos! I'm undecided about whether to do a bouquet toss. 
  • I don't want to do the garter toss.  Undecided on the boquet. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Not doing either the garter or bouquet toss. I'll be 30 and FI 31 when we get married and many of our friends are either married or in serious relationships/engaged.

    Just because something is tradition doesn't mean you have to do it. I've been to many weddings as an adult have only seen the garter toss a few times (it's about 50/50 on the bouquet). I saw it more as a kid, so it's definitely a much less practiced tradition.

    You have options: toss neither, toss just the bouquet, take your garter off in the ladies' room and he can toss it without taking it off publicly (or buy a separate garter to toss). I've also heard of the groom tossing a little nerf football to all of his friends, married or not. You get the fun of the toss, but none of the potential awkwardness.
  • We're skipping the garter and bouquet tosses.  Most of our guests are married except 2-3 guys and 2-3 girls.   Plus, it's an unecessary expense.
    Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  • "On their wedding night, guests would follow the Bride and Groom to their bedroom, wait until they undressed, steal their stockings, and then "fling" them at the couple! The first person to hit the Bride or Groom on the head would supposedly be the next person to marry. "

    I just pictured this and cannot stop laughing!!! HAHAHA
  • I was talking about this the other night with my MOH, and she said that I could lift my dress up to my knees, and we could have a little fun with it that way.

    I'm a scuba diver/swimmer getting married in August, so it's not like people won't have seen my shins.
  • Hmm, I wanted to do both, but I'm not sure if we have enough single mne/women to line up for it.  I think there might be a handful at most of either sex, most being on my FI side.
    image. Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • we are doing it. FI is totally for it. I'm just gonna cover my face and laugh my heart out during the removal. Most of our guest are pretty laid back, and the ones that aren't.... I highly doubt they will come up to us and say how repulsed they were.
  • edited December 2009
    We're skipping the garter and bouquet tosses. I was on the fence at first because I figured that people would expect them to happen, but then I tried to imagine both from the guest's point of view, and that made up my mind for me. NMS.
  • We are totally doing it! All of our guests are pretty laid back, and we aren't up-tight about it and I think it will be fun.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards