What are YOU doing about the garter toss?

Bethbethbethbeth

Ew. I wish this "tradition" would die out.

vlevitt

we're not doing it.  FI hates the idea, and I agree with him.  we're also not doing the bouquet toss, nor having a wedding cake and we're probably not going to have the traditional mother/son, father/daughter dances either. 

i think it's really up to you and what you're comfortable with.  if you think it's not for you, then it's not for you.  

kristinkiel

We are skipping both. I will probably give my bouquet to my MOH (my younger sister). I am guessing I will still wear a garter to be traditional.

texaslolamy

We're leaving the garter and bouquet tosses in. We think they are fun traditions. I'm not weirded out about my family seeing my husband touch my thigh. It's just a fun part of the day (in our opinion) so we're doing it!

skillen1123

We're not doing it - but it wasn't a matter of appropriate or not, we just don't want to take any time away from partying and dancing! i want people on the floor the whole night, so i def. won't be telling them to move over or go sit down so we can do the garter/bouquet thing....just wastes time in my opinion!! but it's YOUR day!! You do exactly what you want! you only have one shot at this so make it worth it!! If it will add to your party then do if but if your the slightest bit uncomfrtable with it- i promise no one will even know you skipped it! Just HAVE FUN!!! Enjoy every second!!

SuMmErKuTiE

If it makes you uncomfortable then don't do it! Most people probably won't even notice that you skipped it!

We're going to do it because we still have a lot of single friends, so we think the bouquet and garter toss will be fun. All the weddings I've been to of my friends it's always been a riot! I'm just going to remind FI that our parents and grandparents are in the audience so to keep it PG and not get all freaky-deaky like I've seen some people do.

Ckirwin

we're not doing the garter toss because i just don't like the idea of doing something like that in front of our parents.

we are doing a bouquet toss, though, i just couldn't imagine a wedding without one! it's important to remember that when you toss the bouquet to your "single" friends, that this means "unmarried", not that they're not in a relationship. catching the bouquet is about determining (obviously not really, but just a fun guess) who will be the next to get married, not who will be the next to start a relationship so all of my "unmarried" girlfriends, especially if they have a boyfriend, will be asked to attempt to catch the bouquet!  besides, it makes more sense that girls with boyfriends would want to catch the bouquet and bring it back to their guy as a sign of the future 

atres

I am actually not doign either.  My few single friends will be bringing dates, and having been single so long, I just think it's embarrassing for the singles.

cplatt80

I was recently at a wedding where a group of guys stood in a circle with their backs to the couple so that no one could see the groom going after the garter. I thought it was cute.

bbyckes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_doing-garter-toss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:b312b894-38aa-41ce-b397-9ef5139e3a01Post:b03584b7-ee97-4bf7-b7f7-fe49e0c4cc13">Re: What are YOU doing about the garter toss?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was recently at a wedding where a group of guys stood in a circle with their backs to the couple so that no one could see the groom going after the garter. I thought it was cute.
Posted by cplatt80[/QUOTE]

That's not a bad idea!  Takes some of the awkwardness away.

saracw14

The garter toss is an unheard of practice in my family. We're from England and I don't think its ever done traditionally over there. I think its a very American thing to do a garter toss, but I've always seen the bouquet toss. Do what you want to do, its your day!

ericalee13

I have decided not to do the garter because I don't want it to take up time from dancing at my wedding. So, I say do whatever you want it's your wedding & it's 2009!!

shelchristian

 My fiance and I are not doing this! We are having a very elegant and vintage wedding so it really doesn't fit our wedding reception theme. However I will still wear a garter for memory sake. Also we are alittle older for our first wedding so most of our friends are mostly married or in serious relationships so it just wouldn't make sense to do this as well.

Good luck on your decision!

The future Mrs. Schaefer

July 2010 bride

Seven months and two weeks to go!!!

ocprincess

I'm putting it at or around knee level, sitting down, and sticking my lower leg out.  So, the same as wearing a knee length skirt, as far as I'm concerned.

Lennababe

We are just not going to do it.

melissah2

We're not doing it, but at my brother's wedding, he reached up to get the garter and pulled out a rubber chicken... it brought the house down!

esuter

I completely agree with you that it is creepy. Why would you want that done in front of your family?!

Anyway, this is my suggestion: most garters come in a set of two, which is amazingly convenient for women like us who do not prefer the traditional way. Wear one of them, and keep one handy for when the time comes to toss it. Your groom can already have one ready in his pocket and you are free of worry and embarrassment. You can still do the fun of having the toss without the worry of being totally embarrassed.

susisomebody

wear it around your arm

wyNme

If you do not do one, I think you shouldn't do the other.  We will be doing both, but just went to a wedding where they didn't do either. 

swim1011

I don't really want to, especially after several weddings we attended in the past 6 months.  At one, the brides brother caught the garter, and her other brother's girlfriend caught the bouquet.  Awkward.  The older bro ended up putting the garter on.. while his gf's father sat there giving him the emu eye the whole time.

At another, the groom crawled his way to the bride while mission impossible music played in the background. Nuff said.

The last, a 10 year old girl caught the bouquet, and had no idea what was going on when a 30+ year old man put the garter on (up to her knee).  The DJ was very flustered and it was all very, very awkward. 

jeanieg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_doing-garter-toss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:b312b894-38aa-41ce-b397-9ef5139e3a01Post:5f9d38a4-0295-424e-ba59-8a77f46c92b4">Re: What are YOU doing about the garter toss?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't really want to, especially after several weddings we attended in the past 6 months.  At one, the brides brother caught the garter, and her other brother's girlfriend caught the bouquet.  Awkward.  The older bro ended up putting the garter on.. while his gf's father sat there giving him the emu eye the whole time. At another, the groom crawled his way to the bride while mission impossible music played in the background. Nuff said. The last, a 10 year old girl caught the bouquet, and had no idea what was going on when a 30+ year old man put the garter on (up to her knee).  The DJ was very flustered and it was all very, very awkward. 
Posted by swim1011[/QUOTE]

<div>OMG. i am both horrified and DYING of laughter.</div><div>
</div><div>we won't be doing the garter toss. i've thought it was icky and awkward since i figured out what it was as a little girl.</div>

I-am-me

We're not doing it. There's no way he's going up my skirt in front of our families. Also, I have read that one of the origins of this tradition stems from the old tradition of "stripping the bride," when the guests would rip off the brides clothes at the end of the wedding to hasten the consummation of the marriage. Not something I want to harken back to - hence, we're skipping it. I dont think I'll even where one. I do still want to do the bouquet toss, though. I don't see anything wrong with doing one and not the other - it would be a double standard if the bouquet toss were as risque a tradition as the garter toss, but it's not even close.

I'm glad to see I'm not alone in being uncomfortable with this tradition! I say if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it.

pjseabee

We're not.  It's dumb, and my grandmother went into cardiac arrest when she saw my drunk brother's head disappear all the way up under his new (also drunk) wife's skirt for SEVERAL very awkward seconds... 

mljen71

Wow about the 30+ year old putting the garter on a 10 yr old. Garter catcher should have known better.

We are going to have both tosses (no children will be at the wedding, so no chance of THAT happening). Since FI and I are NY Giants fans, my garters have the Giants logo on them. FI doesnt know, so when he grabs the tossing garter (which ill have down by my knee), he'll be pleasantly surprised. It also doubles as my "something blue."

Another cute thing I saw at a recent wedding which I think we'll do at ours:
2 groomsmen kneel on the floor, with 1 knee each, and their legs become a bench for the bride to sit on while the groom takes off the garter. The DJ/MC also had the bridesmaids stand behind the bride to "support" her (and cheer on the crowd).

It was all in good fun, and I think as long as there are no children at the wedding, you can have a good time with it. But I've been to weddings without the tosses, and once I caught the bouquet and my then-BF caught the garter, and instead of having him put it on me (we were 20ish), we just danced together. Looking back, that was a cute alternative (esp. since chances are high that the catches will not know each other).

Do what you're comfy with, some guests won't even notice, and it's YOUR day