Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

huge family

i have a huge family compared to his. im tring to think of ways since we are paying for this ourselves to cut back on everything. we started with a 150 guest list but over half of that is my dads side of the family. do i really need to invite family i havent seen in years or dont talk to. i dont see this side of the family often anyways but i am closer to some more then others. not sure what to do as far as eliminating some of the cousins and aunts and uncles i dont keep in tough with. i dont want to be rude by not inviting the ones i dont see.

Re: huge family

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_huge-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:bfb02acb-47f6-4c82-ae9b-2bdc51200515Post:4dc0a3c9-4d6c-41a4-9d4f-34ea97f81b70">huge family</a>:
    [QUOTE]i have a huge family compared to his. im tring to think of ways since we are paying for this ourselves to cut back on everything. we started with a 150 guest list but over half of that is my dads side of the family. do i really need to invite family i havent seen in years or dont talk to. i dont see this side of the family often anyways but i am closer to some more then others. not sure what to do as far as eliminating some of the cousins and aunts and uncles i dont keep in tough with. i dont want to be rude by not inviting the ones i dont see.
    Posted by christibarsalou[/QUOTE]

    I went through this too. We chose to invite all of our aunts and uncles. Also, all of our cousins (all adults at this point in time).

    It can be overwhelming, but we thought family wasn't worth picking-and-choosing over.
  • some of my cousins i havent spoken to in over 5 years. thats why i kindof feel like it wouldnt be a big deal but at the same time idk if it would
  • I feel your pain; I have 6 brothers and sister; H has 5 and my FIL's parents had 18 children so I get the HUGE family issue. Lucky for me; my side of the family lives in a different country so cutting the list was a little easier

    I started off with a guest list of 350 people and it was ONLY family

    We started reducing the number by eliminating second cousins or people we hadn't spoke to in 5 plus years and OOT guests who we knew wouldn't travel for our wedding. We were able to reduce to 150 because I ended up removing most of MY family. I think it was my parents, step dad, brothers and sisters and one uncle. The rest was H's aunts, uncles, first cousins, brothers/sister, and two friends on each side.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    We only invited people who are in our lives on a regular basis, regardless of where they fell on our family trees. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I have to say ditto to AddieL73. I personally feel your wedding day should be an intimate occasion and shared with those that you feel most closely to.
  •  My dad's side is mostly on the east coast and I don't know them well but didn't want to hurt his feelings by not inviting them.
     I sucked it up, called him and said that we have room for any and all that would like to attend (not exactly true but we can make it work if we need to) but because I haven't had much, if any, contact with them I didn't want it to sound like I was just asking for gifts from them and how did he think I should handle it. He said that he would let them know that I was getting married and ask if they would be interested in making the trip.
    It feels strange to do it that way but he knows them better and if he thinks it works, I'll go with it. Would something like that work for you?
  • Definitely agree with this. My family is huge as well. My FI and I chose to invite people that we are in contact with and who have supported us both individually and collectively over the years. Family members who come to various events that we've had. Some family members are just there to be nosey and only support you when they get something out of it i.e. a free meal. So we definitely pick and chose. I don't think it's right to spend 50 on somekne just because they are related.

    In Response to Re:huge family:[QUOTE]We only invited people who are in our lives on a regular basis, regardless of where they fell on our family trees.nbsp; Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
  • My parents are paying so unfortunately I have no say on who comes when it comes to family that ive never met but i think its pretty common to have that weddings. We dont know half the people on our guest list but my parents want them there so it is what it is.
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  • ShiaShia member
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments
    We have the same situation as you. We are only having 80 guest and it will be close family and friends. Our original guest was 125 but we made major cuts. We cut distant cousins and Aunts and Uncles I haven't seen in a long time. As for kids, we are only inviting the children in our wedding party and from out-of-town. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    It's not rude not to invite people you don't have close relationships with.
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