huge family

Re: huge family

• itzMS member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_huge-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:bfb02acb-47f6-4c82-ae9b-2bdc51200515Post:4dc0a3c9-4d6c-41a4-9d4f-34ea97f81b70">huge family</a>:
  [QUOTE]i have a huge family compared to his. im tring to think of ways since we are paying for this ourselves to cut back on everything. we started with a 150 guest list but over half of that is my dads side of the family. do i really need to invite family i havent seen in years or dont talk to. i dont see this side of the family often anyways but i am closer to some more then others. not sure what to do as far as eliminating some of the cousins and aunts and uncles i dont keep in tough with. i dont want to be rude by not inviting the ones i dont see.
  Posted by christibarsalou[/QUOTE]
  
  I went through this too. We chose to invite all of our aunts and uncles. Also, all of our cousins (all adults at this point in time).
  
  It can be overwhelming, but we thought family wasn't worth picking-and-choosing over.

  Report0 Reply
• christibarsalou

  

  February 2013

  some of my cousins i havent spoken to in over 5 years. thats why i kindof feel like it wouldnt be a big deal but at the same time idk if it would

  Report0 Reply
• mcda04 member

  

  February 2013

  I feel your pain; I have 6 brothers and sister; H has 5 and my FIL's parents had 18 children so I get the HUGE family issue. Lucky for me; my side of the family lives in a different country so cutting the list was a little easier
  
  I started off with a guest list of 350 people and it was ONLY family
  
  We started reducing the number by eliminating second cousins or people we hadn't spoke to in 5 plus years and OOT guests who we knew wouldn't travel for our wedding. We were able to reduce to 150 because I ended up removing most of MY family. I think it was my parents, step dad, brothers and sisters and one uncle. The rest was H's aunts, uncles, first cousins, brothers/sister, and two friends on each side.

  Report0 Reply
• AddieCake member

  

  February 2013

  We only invited people who are in our lives on a regular basis, regardless of where they fell on our family trees. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

  Report0 Reply
• Boigle

  

  February 2013

  I have to say ditto to AddieL73. I personally feel your wedding day should be an intimate occasion and shared with those that you feel most closely to.

  Report0 Reply
• [Deleted User] member

  

  March 2013

   My dad's side is mostly on the east coast and I don't know them well but didn't want to hurt his feelings by not inviting them.
   I sucked it up, called him and said that we have room for any and all that would like to attend (not exactly true but we can make it work if we need to) but because I haven't had much, if any, contact with them I didn't want it to sound like I was just asking for gifts from them and how did he think I should handle it. He said that he would let them know that I was getting married and ask if they would be interested in making the trip.
  It feels strange to do it that way but he knows them better and if he thinks it works, I'll go with it. Would something like that work for you?

  Report0 Reply
• Andama08 member

  

  March 2013

  Definitely agree with this. My family is huge as well. My FI and I chose to invite people that we are in contact with and who have supported us both individually and collectively over the years. Family members who come to various events that we've had. Some family members are just there to be nosey and only support you when they get something out of it i.e. a free meal. So we definitely pick and chose. I don't think it's right to spend 50 on somekne just because they are related.
  
  In Response to Re:huge family:[QUOTE]We only invited people who are in our lives on a regular basis, regardless of where they fell on our family trees.nbsp; Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

  Report0 Reply
• OwningAHome1981 member

  

  March 2013

  My parents are paying so unfortunately I have no say on who comes when it comes to family that ive never met but i think its pretty common to have that weddings. We dont know half the people on our guest list but my parents want them there so it is what it is.

  

  Report0 Reply
• Shia member

  

  August 2013

  We have the same situation as you. We are only having 80 guest and it will be close family and friends. Our original guest was 125 but we made major cuts. We cut distant cousins and Aunts and Uncles I haven't seen in a long time. As for kids, we are only inviting the children in our wedding party and from out-of-town. 

  Report0 Reply
• Jen4948 member

  

  August 2013

  It's not rude not to invite people you don't have close relationships with.
  

  Report0 Reply