My fiance wants to uninvite people to the wedding.

stormj

Our wedding was supposed to be in October, but we postponed it until April. We had already sent STD's to everyone before we decided to postpone it. We just recently brought a new house together so thats why we changed the date. So last week I find out that I'm pregnant. The baby is due march 4. The wedding is April 2 and everything is already booked. He thinks we should save the money on the wedding because now we will have two kids plus the new mortgage but we have the money saved. He wants to have a small wedding with just our family. Im i selfish to still want my dream wedding or is he for wanting to uninvite people to the wedding. 

jemmini6

well if you already have all the money set aside for the wedding and still have enough money to make your house payment and hospital bills for when the baby is born and all of your other expenses, etc...then i'd say have the wedding you planned.  but if it's between paying for your dream wedding and supporting your family...you absolutely should uninvite people and settle for a smaller ceremony or even elope. 

kpwedkk

Not sure what the etiquette is, but since you've only sent out save the date cards, and not the actual invitations, you could invite the folks that you want from your STD list.

I agree that if you had money set aside for the wedding, and your house bills, then follow through else elope, or just have a very small wedding.

frenchy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_fiance-wants-uninvite-people-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:c942845d-56c0-4075-acf4-c4e690d12941Post:47a4e001-eb33-4f38-8f66-112eb24af3fd">Re: My fiance wants to uninvite people to the wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]Not sure what the etiquette is, but since you've only sent out save the date cards, and not the actual invitations, you could invite the folks that you want from your STD list.
Posted by kpwedkk[/QUOTE]

Nope, technically everyone who gets a std gets an invitation.  THAT is proper ettiquite.  Now if you decided to elope or have the most intimate of ceremonies (seriously ONLY your parents, sibblings, one best friend) then maybe it would be okay to let everyone know that you've changed your plans.  But you can't really just arbitrarily cut people from your list but keep a bunch of others.  That's a little rude.

Pirata13

I agree with PPs that only if you are cancelling the whole thing and having like 10 or 20 people tops at the ceremony with a "reception" being dinner at a restaurant, then you can't just cut your list from say 200 to 100.  If you can afford your dream wedding, have it, by all means.  If you can afford it, do it or there's a good chance you'll resent FI later.  But if you really need the money to cover medical and family expenses, then cancel the entire thing and have a simple, intimate wedding.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_fiance-wants-uninvite-people-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:c942845d-56c0-4075-acf4-c4e690d12941Post:9c61d32d-dcc4-40e9-b72c-d15384a2203f">Re: My fiance wants to uninvite people to the wedding.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My fiance wants to uninvite people to the wedding. : <strong>Nope, technically everyone who gets a std gets an invitation.  THAT is proper ettiquite. </strong> Now if you decided to elope or have the most intimate of ceremonies (seriously ONLY your parents, sibblings, one best friend) then maybe it would be okay to let everyone know that you've changed your plans.  But you can't really just arbitrarily cut people from your list but keep a bunch of others.  That's a little rude.
Posted by frenchy730[/QUOTE]

Don't uninvite people. A change of plans/circumstances is a different story. And like frenchy said, then you will need to find a way to let people know that.

MyNameIsNot

Once you send an STD, you must invite them.  What would you say?  "We know we sent you the STD for October, but now the wedding has been pushed back to April, but don't worry about saving the date, you won't be invited."  

You need to send out some kind of notice to everyone that got the October STD letting them know that the date has been changed to April, and you'll need to invite them.  

Sorry, but you committed to the guest list when you sent out the STD.  You can't not invite those people now, unless you cancel the whole wedding.  If you need to save money, cut back on what you are doing.  

whitney.tolson

If you can make your bills and take care of your children while still having the wedding of your dreams, go for it.
If not, let the people you sent STD's to know that wedding plans have changed and with the new addition to your family, plans for the entire event may change as well. Don't feel like you HAVE to invite everyone or you can only have a small wedding. Invite the people that matter most to you. If you still want a rather large wedding but can't afford everyone you invited, I would say do it. It's your day. Don't worry about everyone else, they will get over it.

kimmieniesink

If you still want to invite everyone you sent STDs to, then consider doing an appetizer only reception and cake, or a luncheon wedding? This could save you a considerable amount of money and potentially still allow you to meet all your other wedding ideas on a budget.

Lisa8888

With a new house and another child on the way, I would think that would be more important than a dream wedding. I honestly don't think I would be dreaming about a big wedding if I was in your situation. I think your fiance is being very practical and you should hear him out on this.