Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

A New Way of "Throwing" the Bouquet?

So I was at a wedding about a week ago and the bride did something that was cute but rather unorthodox and I wanted to know what everyone thinks! Instead of gathering all the single women to catch the thrown bouquet, it was presented to the couple who had been married the longest as a recognition of their relationship's longevity. While I thought this was very sweet, I have to wonder if this takes away from one of the few interactive things at a wedding that many female guests look forward to.

Thoughts?

Re: A New Way of "Throwing" the Bouquet?

  • It's not really all that inventive, but I think it's lovely.  (Though it's something to be avoided if, say, either party's parents have been divorced.)  I don't know many women who look forward to being dragged out to the floor because they haven't yet netted a man.  I usually took the opportunity to hide in the bathroom, and it was a blessed relief when I attended my first wedding as a married woman and realized I didn't have to do that anymore.  We didn't do either toss at our wedding, and didn't replace them with anything.
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  • I don't know a single female guest who actually looks forward to being dragged on the floor, pretending that she's not being put on the spot for being single, and then also pretending to try to catch flowers thrown her way.

    I think your female guests will bless your name if you do the anniversary bouquet idea instead.

    And FWIW:  It's not  "new" idea at all.  And it's a very nice idea, IMO, to celebrate longevity in marriage on a day about.....marriage.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
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    It's cute and I prefer it to the toss, but the anniversary bouquet isn't exactly inventive.

    But really, I don't know anyone over 20 that actually likes the bouquet toss.  For most, it's an embarrassing tradition.  
  • If you're looking for something different, my sister did this thing where ALL the women were called on the floor to catch the bouquet.  I forget what exactly the coordinator's shpeel was, but it was more about a long life and health than getting married next.  I need to see if my sister remembers what was said, cause I kinda like that idea.
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  • It's not really new, its been around for quite a while, but it is better than the toss.
  • I agree with the first post, the point about if parents are divorced, etc.  Our DJ asked us about an anniversary dance, and I said no to it b/c both our parents are divorced, his both remarried, my dad engaged and my mom is single and kinda depressed about it...I would feel bad, like it would bring attention to the fact.

    But anyway, lol, we are doing a bouquet toss.  However, there will be like 3 single people there, so what we're doing is calling ALL girls out to catch it.  Whoever catches it will win a cute basket of chocolates I made up (includes Godiva choc. liquor yum!).  All guys will be called out for the garter toss, and whoever catches it will win a bottle of Jack Daniel's.  I thought it would turn it into something fun with a lot of participation.

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  • I wanted to do this - but my mother is very traditional, and I feel like - since she's paying - I should at least stay somewhat traditional. Not throwing the bouquet isn't really one of the things I wanted to argue with her over. I had more important things like chocolate cake and a non white dress!!  I still might do it. Who knows.
  • We're doing this, since I don't have many single friends. My mom and dad think it is a great idea.
  • I think it's a great idea. :) Definitely better than parading all the single ladies out there. I always hated the bouquet toss and hopefully I will be able to avoid it at my wedding.
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  • We are doing that instead of the toss. I HATE the toss.
    We already know out of all of our guests, my FI's grandparents have been together the longest- so we already know they will get it.

    Still not sure what to do with the garter.. i kinda don't want to wear it at all!
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  • Honestly, I don't know of any single female that looks forward to this - how many women do you know that want to advertise that they are single and scramble for a bouquet, especially while dressed up?

    I know I never did and managed to head to the restroom or escape that spectacle in some way at every wedding I attended as a single woman. I didn't care that people knew I was single, I just didn't want to reach for, jump for, scramble after a bouquet and look stupid.
  • my cousin did this at her wedding because her and her FI were older and most of the guests were older and married already.  So for a crowd that is generally older and already married i think its a great idea!
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  • We did the longest married in lieu of the bouquet toss and wouldn't have changed a thing. As PP's mentioned, single females definitely do not embrace the idea of gathering on the dance floor when it's time to toss the bouquet..and many find a way to "disappear" b/c it draws attention to the fact they are single (not a bad thing), but it's a self-consciousness issues.  With all this being said, if the bride is on the younger side (early 20's), I think the bouquet toss is just something that's done. I am in my mid 30's and definitely knew I didn't want to go that route, but had I been younger when I was married, it may have been a different outcome.
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  • We are doing the anniversary dance too...mostly because i don't like the garter toss and also because I know I was always the only single lady who actually liked the bouquet toss :) 
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  • I dont see what the big deal is about the bouquet toss myself. Who cares if your single?!! I think it gives the guests something to do/watch for a little and keeps it interesting when it is being put on the person who gets it.
  • I didn't toss my bouquet. Single friends thanked me for it at the end of the night.

  • I'm going to do a clutch toss. At least that way it can be used after the wedding.
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  • I love the idea of the toss to all women, but how can u word it? And is it weird to have 2 married people for the garter on the leg part
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  • Hmm... I am going to disagree w/ the majority and say most women aren't ashamed to be single.  Most weddings I've attended, girls jumped at the chance to participate b/c it's just fun and expected.  But the alternative you mentioned is great too.  I say you know your guests better than anyone so do whatever you think will be the biggest hit.  And there's no reason you can't do the garter toss and do something to honor the longest married couple w/ another gift or flower arrangement of some kind!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_new-way-of-throwing-bouquet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:ddbdbd8f-8227-4820-ad28-b157ce99ba83Post:adf74f32-ef8d-4e60-88a6-f086551d186d">Re: A New Way of "Throwing" the Bouquet?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love the idea of the toss to all women, but how can u word it?<strong> And is it weird to have 2 married people for the garter on the leg part</strong>
    Posted by theholdorffs[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ummmmmmm...just don't do that part.  It's awkward and gross even if the people are single.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_new-way-of-throwing-bouquet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:ddbdbd8f-8227-4820-ad28-b157ce99ba83Post:26f2a6ee-38bf-4656-a33d-4b36fa70c50f">Re: A New Way of "Throwing" the Bouquet?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Honestly, I don't know of any single female that looks forward to this - how many women do you know that want to advertise that they are single and scramble for a bouquet, especially while dressed up?</strong> I know I never did and managed to head to the restroom or escape that spectacle in some way at every wedding I attended as a single woman. I didn't care that people knew I was single, I just didn't want to reach for, jump for, scramble after a bouquet and look stupid.
    Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

    Seriously? Almost every wedding I've been to, the bouquet toss turns into a knock-down drag-out bitchslap-fest between psychotic women who are desperate to be married because they've based their entire self-worth on having a man in their life. It's pathetic.
  • What a cute idea. I think we're doing the toss but not REQUIRING anyone to come out to do it. I want it to be fun, not a chore.
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  • cassandra:  advertising is not permitted on this site.  I suggest you take your business out of your siggy.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I've decided against having a bouquet toss, but some of my cousins have expressed that they like doing it.  So I'm just going to decide during the evening.  If I don't feel like doing it and keep dancing, that's what I'm going to do.  But we will NOT be doing the garter toss.
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  • I do think its a great idea to honor the couple that has been married the longest! :)  At the wedding I experienced that at, i was a little disappointed though because I was (at the time) not engaged and wanted to catch the bouquet.

    I guess it depends on what you feel like doing personally.  I will stick with the bouquet toss for my single lady friends, but do what you want and no one should complain!
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  • Well Im 21. and i have some friends that are single. so i think im just going to do it cause my FI parents and grand parents are divorced so it will be kind of akward..lol
    I think i want the DJ to say all the single ladies come to the dance floor and al the ones that want to renew their bows come to the dance floor.. idk something like that will invite more ppl.

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