venting about bridesmaids gone sour!!!

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_venting-about-bridesmaids-gone-sour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0298ab54-e9be-424d-a9ac-3ec9a611e193Post:52b08e69-8438-4d82-b03f-2abe6f984df4">Re:venting about bridesmaids gone sour!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:venting about bridesmaids gone sour!!! : next time I'd suggest actually reading what the original poster wrote.  
Posted by FloridaMichelle[/QUOTE]

Why did you change your original post?

MyNameIsNot

This whole thing sounds like a bunch of preteen drama.  

Everyone needs to grow up before they get married.  

jnjmommy0609

You had 47 people vote never....I think it's time to take the hint.

In my opinion I think you are over-reacting. I get what the peace corps is..and I still think you are over-reacting. This is coming from someone who has a husband who was in the navy so I get what it feels like to have no connection. Distancing yourself off from people because he is gone doesn't make any sense. You should be out with people to make the time go by faster. And trust me that does work! 

If you think she is such a sh*tty person then cut her out completely and just get it over with. Kick her out of the party but expect her to be kicked out of your life. I am all for getting negative people in your life out but don't draw it out and try to make excuse after excuse on why you are right and she is wrong.  

0312syd1986

Well, this has been an interesting thread to say the least.  I agree and disagree with some of the things said on here.
1.I agree with the fact that you might have picked your wedding party to early, but understand that you wanted to have a bridal party before you moved.  But I dont agree that the wedding party is set in stone.  That being said, what I mean is I think you have every right to put these ladies on notice.  I believe that you have every right to ask these ladies if they are going to be dependable.  I think it's an issue if a BM says she's going to do something and then flakes out for no good reason (that really bothers me).  But I do think you need to give these ladies time, becuase there's really nothing you should be planning at this point.  If you can, sit these ladies down and ask them why they feel as they do; maybe it's jealousy, maybe they feel neglected (to much wedding talk) or something.  And maybe you can all come to an agreement to help strenghten the relationship.  Hope this is helpful and not an attack, like the others were.

jennylee813

What Retread said. Friends are not a commodity to be used and abused, then thrown away when they don't bow and scrape to you. And yes, OPs bridal party is now 'set in stone', she's asked them (way too early, but she's done it already and it can't be undone).

OPs wedding isn't for TWO years. If this is the type of drama that's going on already, I'd hate to see what happens a month or two out.

0312syd1986

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_venting-about-bridesmaids-gone-sour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:0298ab54-e9be-424d-a9ac-3ec9a611e193Post:b91f54aa-9f18-4a11-9499-455f3184d4e3">Re: venting about bridesmaids gone sour!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]That being said, what I mean is I think you have every right to put these ladies on notice.  I believe that you have every right to ask these ladies if they are going to be dependable. No ma'am.  They don't need to be "dependable" about anything. Bridesmaids are chosen as a way to honor special friends.  The bride is obligated to remember this. They are not staff who are being hired and fired, and one does not demote friends.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

I said nothing about being staff, I said dependable.  I didn't say that they needed to tend to your every whim, or fantasy, but you need to know that you can depend on these ladies. Im depending on my ladies to support my marriage (if not, they should't be standing next to me), Im depending on them to keep the lines of communication open btw us (not only about the wedding but about other aspects of our friendship), Im depending on them to keep me sane and to tell me to stop stressing out over silly little things.  These are things that a friend does any way.  Thats what I meant by dependable. I in NO WAY think you should treat the BMs like they do on bridezilla, thats just ridiculous. I apoloigise if that's how my words were taken.