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Wedding Party

8 Bridesmaids or 1? Help!!!

I am having a big dilemia and for some reason cannot make a decision. My fiance has 4 possible groomsmen and I have 8 possible bridesmaids. Mine include: my sister, fiance's 2 sisters, my cousin and my 4 very close friends. I feel like if I do not include all 8 feelings will be hurt. So I am trying to decide...should I just have my sister and my fiance just have his 1 groomsmen? The wedding will be about 130-150 people (outdoor at a ranch). I am 31 and my fiance is 32, so I think it may be a little ridiculous to have such a large bridal party at our age. First marriage for us both, but still feel it would be odd. Plus, if I did 8 bridesmaids it would really look odd with 4 groomsmen...Thoughts? I have been going back and forth for a month and really need an outside opinion on what to do...HELP!

Re: 8 Bridesmaids or 1? Help!!!

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Why would you having 1 bridesmaid mean that your FI only has one of the four?  Your sides do not need to be even, and even sides is a dumb reason to include or exclude people.  Your wedding party should be the people to whom you are closest.  4 and 8 is fine, and 4 and 1 is fine.  It doesn't matter in the slightest how it will look, since the point of the wedding party is not how it looks.



  • You can have 8 and your FI can have 4. It won't look silly or odd at all. The numbers don't have to be even at all. Both of you should have the ppl you love by your side regardless of what the number is!

    Good Luck & Congrats!
  • Even sides are fine if they work out that way, but they're not remotely worth pursuing if it means leaving out people you want or dredging up warm bodies.  Forget about the numbers, ask the people you want up there.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • In your case, I would ask only your family members (you have a sister, he has two sisters, and a cousin). 8 is way too many and when you ask only family members, friends tend to be more understanding.
  • One thing to consider when determining how many people to have is cost. For each bridesmaid you can figure $40-60 (or more) per bouquet depending on size & flowers. Also figure in a gift for each girl too. Then if you're having a rehersal dinner you have to account for each person plus their spouse/significant other (if you opt to invite spouses & SO). If you are planning on renting a limo, the larger the bridal party the larger the limo you'll need.  I'm not saying to have don't everyone you want, but depending on what type of budget you are working with, the number in your bridal party can have an impact on your budget.

    If you decide to go with the smaller number maybe you can incorporat the other people as ushers, readers, hand out programs or other important roles in your day.
  • I am having the same issue. I dont want anymore than 6, however I am very worried about hurt feelings. I'm having a simple outdoor, nonreligous wedding so there wont really be other tasks to give to the women I don't choose.
  • Thank you everyone for your thoughts! I GREATLY appreciate it. After thinking about it...in order to not hurt feelings or make the sides super uneven my fiancé and I decided to just hbeacons person each. My MOH and his BM. I will include the rest of the girls in the "house party". That means they will be included in all of the wedding events, but will not walk or stand up during the ceremony. This is a common "southern tradition". This is also something Jenna Bush did for her wedding. She has 14 girls in her house party, but only her sister stood up during the ceremony. I think this is the best option for us. Would love feedback on this idea.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_8-bridesmaid-or-1-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1727f196-f0ca-47fc-b501-d87438165098Post:854034d6-f142-4c41-89b5-3d93d6e02e9a">Re: 8 Bridesmaids or 1? Help!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]One thing to consider when determining how many people to have is cost. For each bridesmaid you can figure $40-60 (or more) per bouquet depending on size & flowers. Also figure in a gift for each girl too. Then if you're having a rehersal dinner you have to account for each person plus their spouse/significant other <strong>(if you opt to invite spouses & SO).</strong> If you are planning on renting a limo, the larger the bridal party the larger the limo you'll need.  I'm not saying to have don't everyone you want, but depending on what type of budget you are working with, the number in your bridal party can have an impact on your budget. If you decide to go with the smaller number maybe you can incorporat the other people as ushers, readers, hand out programs or other important roles in your day.
    Posted by Erikan73[/QUOTE]
    This is not optional.  You have to invite spouses and SOs to the rehearsal dinner as well as the wedding.
    Also, regarding your last line - the only two important roles are ushers and readers.  No one should be asked to hand out programs, that's a BS job, not an honor.  Ditto other made up jobs.  Wedding party, reader, usher, or guest.



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_8-bridesmaid-or-1-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:1727f196-f0ca-47fc-b501-d87438165098Post:842c90bc-5352-44a5-8fb0-cee0acba733b">8 Bridesmaids or 1? Help!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am having a big dilemia and for some reason cannot make a decision. My fiance has 4 possible groomsmen and I have 8 possible bridesmaids. Mine include: my sister, fiance's 2 sisters, my cousin and my 4 very close friends. I feel like if I do not include all 8 feelings will be hurt. So I am trying to decide...should I just have my sister and my fiance just have his 1 groomsmen? The wedding will be about 130-150 people (outdoor at a ranch). I am 31 and my fiance is 32, so I think it may be a little ridiculous to have such a large bridal party at our age. First marriage for us both, but still feel it would be odd. Plus, if I did 8 bridesmaids it would really look odd with 4 groomsmen...Thoughts? I have been going back and forth for a month and really need an outside opinion on what to do...HELP!
    Posted by Chloe0427[/QUOTE]

    <div>If I were in your position, I'd have my sister and my 4 close friends. If you want 8, have 8. Have however many you actually <em>want</em>.</div>
  • I know some people are fussy about both sides being even but its not really up to anyone else except you! Plus, 4 groomsmen and 8 bridesmaids is an even number! Each guy will have two ladies! I am having 6 ladies and my fiance is having 4. No big deal IMO!
  • Thank you everyone! Really appreciate all of your feedback!
  • Will do! :)

    We decided to do three on each side. I am going to have my sister, cousin (who I am vey close to) and my best friend (friends since we were 5 years old. My fiance is 3 as well. He ended up being the one to tell me that we did not need to have his half sisters in the bridal party, who neither of us are very close with (one is 16 years younger than us and the other is 8 years younger). As for my other 3 close friends, I haven't discussed plans with anyone yet but I think they will be ok. 

    I think this has been that most difficult decision of the whole wedding.....LOL!!!

    :)
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