May need to kick out a bridesmaid...

morningglow

I have a bridesmaid who is making things a lot harder than they have to be. It's already difficult enough since myself and the girls are in different cities. Over two months ago, we narrowed down the BM dress choices. Prior to that I tried finding dresses under $100 but due to sizing issues and online mix-ups, it turned out to be a bad idea.

We then picked dresses from a bridal shop and I gave the girls prices, etc and asked them to vote on which dress they wanted, and to give me their measurements. The BM in question never gave me her vote and I had to track her down for measurements, which delayed things.

Then I organized the order and asked them to place their deposits for the order to go through, as requested by the bridal shop, by a certain deadline. The same girl blatantly ignored the deadline, so I told her I would have to take her off the order and she could order hers alone if she missed the second deadline I set.

She then had the nerve to complain about paying for a dress right before Christmas, even though it only worked out that way because she delayed everything. She also tried to make me feel bad for making her "spend so much", however she tends to spend money like it's going out of style! And she knew the commitment going into this...oh and she knew the prices 2+ months ago, and could've have voted for the cheaper dress.

She's the type of person who always has an excuse, and is a bit flighty at times, but we've been friends for so long. I don't want to have to babysit her and have her be an added stress when she should be there to lower my stress.

My thoughts are to say that if she's not comfortable being a BM that she needs to tell me now, and to also tell that if she stay, things need to change.

Does anyone have advice or suggestions? Thank you!

mbcdefg

You should've asked all the girls for their budgets BEFORE you sent them a selection of dresses. You were wrong to just assume that they'd be O.K. with certain price ranges.

Just because you didn't care for any of the options under $100 doesn't mean that it was wise to pick pricier dresses.

And, yeah, it IS tough to spend money right before the holidays. You have zero right to criticize her spending habits. It's not your money, it's hers, and she's free to spend it as she wishes. She's not a bad person because she'd rather spend HER MONEY on bills/clothes/etc. than on you and your wedding. I work for my money so that I can spend it on stuff I want, not stuff my friends say I need to get.

My thoughts are to say that if she's not comfortable being a BM that she needs to tell me now, and to also tell that if she stay, things need to change.

This makes you sound like a pretentious snot. I hope you'd never say that to a friend in real life.

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:de3340ef-f988-448b-9c03-eabf2f3be99c">May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a bridesmaid who is making things a lot harder than they have to be. It's already difficult enough since myself and the girls are in different cities. Over two months ago, we narrowed down the BM dress choices. Prior to that I tried finding dresses under $100 but due to sizing issues and online mix-ups, it turned out to be a bad idea. We then picked dresses from a bridal shop and I gave the girls prices, etc and asked them to vote on which dress they wanted, and to give me their measurements. The BM in question never gave me her vote and I had to track her down for measurements, which delayed things. Then I organized the order and asked them to place their deposits for the order to go through, as requested by the bridal shop, by a certain deadline. The same girl blatantly ignored the deadline, so I told her I would have to take her off the order and she could order hers alone if she missed the second deadline I set. She then had the nerve to complain about paying for a dress right before Christmas, even though it only worked out that way because she delayed everything. She also tried to make me feel bad for making her "spend so much", however she tends to spend money like it's going out of style! And she knew the commitment going into this...oh and she knew the prices 2+ months ago, and could've have voted for the cheaper dress. She's the type of person who always has an excuse, and is a bit flighty at times, but we've been friends for so long. I don't want to have to babysit her and have her be an added stress when she should be there to lower my stress. My thoughts are to say that if she's not comfortable being a BM that she needs to tell me now, and to also tell that if she stay, things need to change. Does anyone have advice or suggestions? Thank you!
Posted by morningglow[/QUOTE]

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:de3340ef-f988-448b-9c03-eabf2f3be99c">May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a bridesmaid who is making things a lot harder than they have to be. It's already difficult enough since myself and the girls are in different cities. Over two months ago, we narrowed down the BM dress choices. Prior to that I tried finding dresses under $100 but due to sizing issues and online mix-ups, it turned out to be a bad idea. We then picked dresses from a bridal shop and I gave the girls prices, etc and asked them to vote on which dress they wanted, and to give me their measurements. The BM in question never gave me her vote and I had to track her down for measurements, which delayed things. Then I organized the order and asked them to place their deposits for the order to go through, as requested by the bridal shop, by a certain deadline. The same girl blatantly ignored the deadline, so I told her I would have to take her off the order and she could order hers alone if she missed the second deadline I set. She then had the nerve to complain about paying for a dress right before Christmas, even though it only worked out that way because she delayed everything. She also tried to make me feel bad for making her "spend so much", however she tends to spend money like it's going out of style! And she knew the commitment going into this...oh and she knew the prices 2+ months ago, and could've have voted for the cheaper dress. She's the type of person who always has an excuse, and is a bit flighty at times, but we've been friends for so long. I don't want to have to babysit her and have her be an added stress when she should be there to lower my stress. My thoughts are to say that if she's not comfortable being a BM that she needs to tell me now, and to also tell that if she stay, things need to change. Does anyone have advice or suggestions? Thank you!
Posted by morningglow[/QUOTE]
Yes, how DARE she suggest that she not have the money for a dress around the holidays.  Unless your wedding is next month, she doesn't need to buy now.  Plus, if you said you'd find dresses for $100 then reneged on that, that was a big no-no on your part.  <div>
</div><div>Why is your reaction that she needs to be booted?  That's the most ridiculous conclusion you could come to.  I mean seriously, it's two yards of fabric--is that really worth losing a friend over (and yes, you will lose her as a friend).</div><div>
</div><div>I'm not going to defend how she handled everything, but you need to be a bit less controlling.  It's a freaking dress.  Clearly she hates all the options--did you find out why?  Is it money?  Does it look bad on her?  I think you should make life simpler for everyone by just saying, "Buy a long blue dress from David's Bridal" or something to that effect--that way she can pick something in her price range that looks good on her, and believe me at the end of the day you'll want happy BMs rather than identical dresses.</div><div>
</div><div>Finally, get some perspective.  Your line about "if she's not comfortable being a BM that she needs to tell me now, and to also tell that if she stay, things need to change" is really uncalled for.  It's a WEDDING.  A party, one that you seem to be taking waaay too seriously.  If it's getting to the point that you and a dear friend are at each other's throats, you're doing it wrong.  So chill out, let her order the dress when she wants or let the BMs pick out their dresses (assuming none of the dresses have been ordered).  Take a step back and realize what the day is really about: you and your FI getting married, not having a perfect party.</div>

saxy414

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:de3340ef-f988-448b-9c03-eabf2f3be99c">May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a bridesmaid who is making things a lot harder than they have to be. It's already difficult enough since myself and the girls are in different cities. Over two months ago, we narrowed down the BM dress choices. Prior to that I tried finding dresses under $100 but due to sizing issues and online mix-ups, it turned out to be a bad idea. We then picked dresses from a bridal shop and I gave the girls prices, etc and asked them to vote on which dress they wanted, and to give me their measurements. The BM in question never gave me her vote and I had to track her down for measurements, which delayed things. Then I organized the order and asked them to place their deposits for the order to go through, as requested by the bridal shop, by a certain deadline. The same girl blatantly ignored the deadline, so I told her I would have to take her off the order and she could order hers alone if she missed the second deadline I set. She then had the nerve to complain about paying for a dress right before Christmas, even though it only worked out that way because she delayed everything. She also tried to make me feel bad for making her "spend so much", however she tends to spend money like it's going out of style! And she knew the commitment going into this...oh and she knew the prices 2+ months ago, and could've have voted for the cheaper dress. She's the type of person who always has an excuse, and is a bit flighty at times, but we've been friends for so long. I don't want to have to babysit her and have her be an added stress when she should be there to lower my stress. <strong>My thoughts are to say that if she's not comfortable being a BM that she needs to tell me now, and to also tell that if she stay, things need to change.</strong> Does anyone have advice or suggestions? Thank you!
Posted by morningglow[/QUOTE]

First of all, most of this could have been avoided had you asked your girls before you chose dresses what their budgets were.  If they girl doesn't think she has the money (no matter what else she spends money on--that's not your business.  There could always be more to the story.) then you need to make another arrangement.  Either help her pay or go with her to find another dress that she can swing price-wise.  It will be absolutely fine if your girls are in different dresses. 

As for the bolded part--don't do it!  I'm pretty sure any way you bring that situation up sounds like you're trying to kick her out.  And telling her "things needs to change" is treating her like a child.  Having that conversation with her could very well turn into a fight or a major issue in your friendship. 

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:de3340ef-f988-448b-9c03-eabf2f3be99c">May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]She's the type of person who always has an excuse, and is a bit flighty at times, but we've been friends for so long. I don't want to have to babysit her and have her be an added stress when she should be there to lower my stress. Posted by morningglow[/QUOTE]

So you knew exactly what you were signing up for when you asked her to be a BM is what you're saying?

megk8oz

How she spends her money is absolutely none of your damn business. If she said the dress was too expensive, it's too expensive. It does not matter if just last week she bought a chateau in the south of France, a luxury car, and every bag Hermes ever designed: if she says the dress costs too much, it costs too much.

You should have consulted her (As well as your other BMs individually) on her budget and found a dress that worked in her price range-not went to the store and said "These 3 dresses are your options, now vote, brideslaves!".

And you are more than allowed to boot her from your WP. However, please note, doing so will most likely completely end your friendship with her, and will do a good amount damage with any mutual friends you have, as well (And sorry, unless you have her on film trying to sleep with your FI, nobody's going to take your side in this one).

But as long as you're 115% okay with the repercussions of losing friends and looking like a jerk, by all means, boot away.

cmackay017

I recently had to consider asking on of my bridesmaids to step down because of all the drama she was causing. What I did was talk with her and lay it all on the table. I told her how upset I was with her behaviour and that I was considering telling her that I no longer wanted her in the wedding party. She was also a friend I have had for a very long time. Luckily we were able to talk things out and she apologized. I did however tell her that if she started to cause drama again that I would refund her the cost of her dress and ask her to step down.

I think your plan is a good one. Be frank with her. Tell her the way she is acting is making you want to kick her out. This is a time when you need supportive people and it doesn't sound like she is being supportive at all. you were gracious enough to allow your girls to have a lot of say in the selection of their gowns. Not all brides do that. Knowing that she was in the wedding party, she should be budgeting for the necessary expenses. Maybe telling her how upset she is making you will change things for the better, but If she doesn't own up to and apologize for her behaviour I would ask her to setp down.

Hope that helps!

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:f284c202-5fd9-4a40-b2ad-358cc55337ea">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I recently had to consider asking on of my bridesmaids to step down because of all the drama she was causing. What I did was talk with her and lay it all on the table. I told her how upset I was with her behaviour and that I was considering telling her that I no longer wanted her in the wedding party. She was also a friend I have had for a very long time. Luckily we were able to talk things out and she apologized. I did however tell her that if she started to cause drama again that I would refund her the cost of her dress and ask her to step down. I think your plan is a good one. Be frank with her. Tell her the way she is acting is making you want to kick her out. This is a time when you need supportive people and it doesn't sound like she is being supportive at all. you were gracious enough to allow your girls to have a lot of say in the selection of their gowns. Not all brides do that. Knowing that she was in the wedding party, she should be budgeting for the necessary expenses. Maybe telling her how upset she is making you will change things for the better, but If she doesn't own up to and apologize for her behaviour I would ask her to setp down. Hope that helps!
Posted by cmackay017[/QUOTE]
Honestly, I don't think this is the right call at all.  To put the friendship on the line over a wedding is ridiculous, and the fact that you said that to your friend was really out of line.  You basically said, "You can choose to be my friend, or you can choose to keep disagreeing with me," which is an ultimatum that you never, EVER impose on a friend.<div>
</div><div>I also hope this isn't the same girl who wants to show a bit of cleavage in her BM dress.  If you had THAT talk over THAT, you're beyond my help.</div>

trix1223

You're not her mom.  So saying things like "....then things have to change" were way, way out of line.  You are treating an adult friend like a second grader who is misbehaving in class.  Allow me to address you the way you're thinking of addressing her: "Listen cookiepuss.  Lose the attitude.  Let's talk about things that really matter."  How do you feel?

So now:  let's talke about things that really matter:   Your wedding is 7 months away.  Why does she need to buy the dress this minute?  You really should have called her after your imposed "deadline" to say "I haven't heard from you about the dress.  What are your thoughts?"  But you didn't.  You were wrong.

Her "job" as a BM isn't to "lessen your stress".  That's your FI's job.  If you're stressing so much over your wedding, then you need to scale it back because you've made it bigger than it needs to be.

Please don't get snotty with your friend.  Please keep in mind that you'll have a life AFTER the wedding.  And that it's very nice to still have friends the day after you're married.

GL

lalap69

Did you get their budgets first?  If none of the dresses were within budget, I can see her not wanting to vote on them.

Don't kick her out over this.  It's a friendship ending move.  Do you really want to end the friendship over a DRESS?

jagore08

Your wedding isn't until July!  Why in the world would she need to pay for the dress before Christmas?

aerinpegadrak

I would refuse to order a dress this early even if I could afford it, on the grounds that there's no frigging point and I don't want it uselessly taking up room in my closet for half a year.  Unless you're going through an ultra-high-end couture designer (which you really shouldn't be if cost is an issue), there is no possible reason to be ordering now.  It simply does not take that long for them to come in.

If the number they told you was $100 and you ignored that, you need to cover the difference or keep looking.  I don't care if it was a pain and you had a bad experience, you need to respect their budget, not just say, "Oh well, I tried, fork over the cash."

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:f284c202-5fd9-4a40-b2ad-358cc55337ea">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I recently had to consider asking on of my bridesmaids to step down because of all the drama she was causing. What I did was talk with her and lay it all on the table. I told her how upset I was with her behaviour and that I was considering telling her that I no longer wanted her in the wedding party. She was also a friend I have had for a very long time. Luckily we were able to talk things out and she apologized. I did however tell her that if she started to cause drama again that I would refund her the cost of her dress and ask her to step down. I think your plan is a good one. Be frank with her. Tell her the way she is acting is making you want to kick her out. This is a time when you need supportive people and it doesn't sound like she is being supportive at all. you were gracious enough to allow your girls to have a lot of say in the selection of their gowns. Not all brides do that. Knowing that she was in the wedding party, she should be budgeting for the necessary expenses. Maybe telling her how upset she is making you will change things for the better, but If she doesn't own up to and apologize for her behaviour I would ask her to setp down. Hope that helps!
Posted by cmackay017[/QUOTE]

oh sweet baby moses.

...anyone else feel this might be the only post the OP agrees with?

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:a4c44be0-3117-48da-9460-56f728ae3dff">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid... : oh sweet baby moses. ...anyone else feel this might be the only post the OP agrees with?
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
I'm sure it will be.  Usually works that way.

Manwaithiel

*eyeroll*

Your wedding is in freaking July. JULY. JULY.

You don't need to buy a dress now. You do not. It is not necessary. The bridal shop is LYING to you if they tell you otherwise. My blessing is 2 months before yours and my BMs have YET to order/buy their dresses. Chillax.

morningglow

I'd just like to say to most of you to get a life. Some of you made good points that I can take into consideration. As for the rest of you:
1. I said "we" narrowed down dress choices, not "I"...I didn't just choose dresses and say ok pay now
2. I agree, she can spend her money on whatever the hell she wants, but if you commit to something, then commit and don't wait over a year and until the deposit is due to complain
3. I discussed budget with the girls, and also told them to let me know if the price range was going to be an issue
4. I didn't promise anyone a dress under $100. I told them that I'd look at all the options, and the issue with the cheaper dresses was that they don't come in bigger sizes that one of my other girls could fit in. That wouldnt be fair to her.
5. the bridal shop suggested they be ordered now, since some of the girls are in a different city and we'll need to allow time for them pickup and alterations...so ya, it's a good time to order
6. also, the store just needs a damn deposit right now, not the entire thing
7. this wouldn't be happening a few weeks before Christmas if she hadn't delayed things until now
8. Finally, the dress itself is not the issue, the issue is that if she has put something like this off and acts like she could give a crap now, then it's just going to continue with other things...obviously she's not going to care as much as I do, but she's given us zero input for the dress style despite my efforts

She's honestly acting like she doesn't want to be a part of the wedding, and if she doesn't then I know she's not going to bring it up (and if she does, it'll be like a month before the wedding). So if she doesn't, I want to discuss it with her, and I may have to let her go.

Anyway, I suppose even if I wrote "my BM tried to stab me, and I'm considering kicking her out", some of you who have nothing better to say (or do) would still tell me that she didn't actually stab me and I'm overreacting, and how dare I judge her for trying to hurt me?

Sleep tight

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:85aefbfe-a991-49e8-b9f0-bad3eb232357">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd just like to say to most of you to get a life. Some of you made good points that I can take into consideration. As for the rest of you: 1. I said "we" narrowed down dress choices, not "I"...I didn't just choose dresses and say ok pay now 2. I agree, she can spend her money on whatever the hell she wants, but if you commit to something, then commit and don't wait over a year and until the deposit is due to complain 3. I discussed budget with the girls, and also told them to let me know if the price range was going to be an issue 4. I didn't promise anyone a dress under $100. I told them that I'd look at all the options, and the issue with the cheaper dresses was that they don't come in bigger sizes that one of my other girls could fit in. That wouldnt be fair to her. 5. the bridal shop suggested they be ordered now, since some of the girls are in a different city and we'll need to allow time for them pickup and alterations...so ya, it's a good time to order 6. also, the store just needs a damn deposit right now, not the entire thing 7. this wouldn't be happening a few weeks before Christmas if she hadn't delayed things until now 8. Finally, the dress itself is not the issue, the issue is that if she has put something like this off and acts like she could give a crap now, then it's just going to continue with other things...obviously she's not going to care as much as I do, but she's given us zero input for the dress style despite my efforts She's honestly acting like she doesn't want to be a part of the wedding, and if she doesn't then I know she's not going to bring it up (and if she does, it'll be like a month before the wedding). So if she doesn't, I want to discuss it with her, and I may have to let her go. Anyway, I suppose even if I wrote "my BM tried to stab me, and I'm considering kicking her out", some of you who have nothing better to say (or do) would still tell me that she didn't actually stab me and I'm overreacting, and how dare I judge her for trying to hurt me? Sleep tight
Posted by morningglow[/QUOTE]
Oh grow some thick skin.  If you just wanted coddling and validation, you shouldn't have asked for advice.  Insulting everyone for responding TO WHAT YOU WROTE is really immature.  If how it went down was different from how you wrote it, that's on you dear.<div>
</div><div>If you act this way IRL, no wonder your BMs are giving you a hard time.<div>
</div><div>Also, the dress shop wants to make a sale before the end of the year.  Keep in mind that their intentions are not altruistic; they often tell BMs to buy the dress today when really they have months.  Alterations take a week at the most.  </div></div>

trix1223

I just need to comment on your evaluation of the money thing, morning glow.  In 2009, our DD could have committed to being in a WP, particularly one that was over a year away.  Then in Jan. 2010, she had medical issues that resulted in emergency life saving surgery.  She and her DH have insurance, but it doesn't cover everything.  Fast forward to Dec. 2010, and they are still fighting their way out of massive debt.

So yes, people's circumstances change.  Perhaps she did commit.  Perhaps things changed.  Perhaps her relationship with you changed, and she's no longer as excited about being in your WP as she initially was.  I'm not entirely sure that would surprise me, just based on what you've written.

There are some here who need an attitude adjustment:  it isn't just your BM, and it isn't the other posters.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:85aefbfe-a991-49e8-b9f0-bad3eb232357">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]

Anyway, I suppose even if I wrote "my BM tried to stab me, and I'm considering kicking her out", some of you who have nothing better to say (or do) would still tell me that she didn't actually stab me and I'm overreacting, and how dare I judge her for trying to hurt me? Sleep tight
Posted by morningglow[/QUOTE]

Actually, pumpkin, if you'd bothered to lurk here for even five minutes to read one of the thousands of other "Should I kick out my bridesmaid?" posts, you'd see that the only two acceptable reasons for doing that are a) if she tries to kill you, or b) if she tries to sleep with your FI. I know, I know -- your situation is tooootally diiiiiiiiiferent! She's not showing the proper amount of enthusiasm for your special day!

marissa_claire

You do know that bridal shops are pushy sales people, right?  If a car salesmen told you that you need to buy this car right now or it'll be gone tomorrow... what would you do?  It's the same thing.  There's other BM dresses in the sea.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:85aefbfe-a991-49e8-b9f0-bad3eb232357">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd just like to say to most of you to get a life. Some of you made good points that I can take into consideration. As for the rest of you: 1. I said "we" narrowed down dress choices, not "I"...I didn't just choose dresses and say ok pay now 2. I agree, she can spend her money on whatever the hell she wants, but if you commit to something, then commit and don't wait over a year and until the deposit is due to complain 3. I discussed budget with the girls, and also told them to let me know if the price range was going to be an issue 4. I didn't promise anyone a dress under $100. I told them that I'd look at all the options, and the issue with the cheaper dresses was that they don't come in bigger sizes that one of my other girls could fit in. That wouldnt be fair to her. 5. the bridal shop suggested they be ordered now, since some of the girls are in a different city and we'll need to allow time for them pickup and alterations...so ya, it's a good time to order 6. also, the store just needs a damn deposit right now, not the entire thing 7. this wouldn't be happening a few weeks before Christmas if she hadn't delayed things until now 8. Finally, the dress itself is not the issue, the issue is that if she has put something like this off and acts like she could give a crap now, then it's just going to continue with other things...obviously she's not going to care as much as I do, but she's given us zero input for the dress style despite my efforts She's honestly acting like she doesn't want to be a part of the wedding, and if she doesn't then I know she's not going to bring it up (and if she does, it'll be like a month before the wedding). So if she doesn't, I want to discuss it with her, and I may have to let her go. Anyway, I suppose even if I wrote "my BM tried to stab me, and I'm considering kicking her out", some of you who have nothing better to say (or do) would still tell me that she didn't actually stab me and I'm overreacting, and how dare I judge her for trying to hurt me? Sleep tight
Posted by morningglow[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Seriously?  Are you 11?</div><div>
</div>

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:1cb8cdbe-4268-4e25-95ec-a685073551f0">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]You do know that bridal shops are pushy sales people, right?  If a car salesmen told you that you need to buy this car right now or it'll be gone tomorrow... what would you do?  It's the same thing.  There's other BM dresses in the sea.
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!!

And we're not the ones having friend problems, OP. Maybe YOU should get a life. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

morningglow

I noticed it only took babling brook 4 minutes to respond after I posted, almost as if you have nothing better to do...don't you guys have anything better to do then sit around and wait for the next comment to make? Seeing as you all have 1000's of posts under your belts, my guess is no.  I also enjoy the fact that you're on here so much you've picked up supposed trends in peoples' reponses. Hey wait...don't some of you have weddings to plan for?

Here's a little tip, if you're going to spend so much time on here, maybe when you read people's inquiries, you should actually read and understand the words, not just make assumptions on what you briefly scanned through.

Anyway I do have a wedding to plan for, and thought I'd find some constructive criticism here, which I did from a couple of people. The rest of you might want to use your time a little more wisely...say, like spending time with your FI or husband instead of endless hours trying to build yourself up on an online forum.

Oh, also if you do post after this, just know that I won't be giving you the satisfaction of actually reading it, so by all means waste your time.

bablingbrooke

Yep, she's onto me.  I literally have nothing better to do with my day than sit here and wait for her next tirade.  Of course, her tirades are much more important than studying for my exams, and I can easily move back and forth between outlining and knotting, so can you really blame me? 

ETA: Also, since she's NOT reading this, does that mean we can talk about her?  How very junior high of me.

Manwaithiel

*pats OP on head*

Silly little 13 year old. Weddings are for big kids!

lalap69

Ugh.  Do people never stop and think that maybe this kind of attitude is WHY they are having problems with their WP?

bablingbrooke

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:fddbe9a9-87d7-4c2e-b0f4-8f781fcbb602">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh.  Do people never stop and think that maybe this kind of attitude is WHY they are having problems with their WP?
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]
But lalap this is their only opportunity to exercise complete dominion over everyone!  I mean didn't you dream of using the power of the ring to steamroll your friends and family when you were little?  That's what "my day" means, right?

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:13fc1fc8-52a3-49e2-8dbb-efc44d93f7d5">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid... : But lalap this is their only opportunity to exercise complete dominion over everyone!  I mean didn't you dream of using the power of the ring to steamroll your friends and family when you were little?  That's what "my day" means, right?
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

I totally did. I made little scepters out of Sweet Tarts. I was awesome.

lalap69

ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!  Mwahahaha!

And see this is why I held bridesmaid auditions.  It helped me to weed out all those silly people that wanted to have some kind of autonomy.  Not gonna happen on ~*My Day*~!!!!

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_may-need-kick-out-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:24f64672-8d8b-42ea-ab80-b3773348df26Post:42ff2736-42ff-40cd-b92f-2ea3784fc1ad">Re: May need to kick out a bridesmaid...</a>:
[QUOTE]ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!  Mwahahaha! And see this is why I held bridesmaid auditions.  It helped me to weed out all those silly people that wanted to have some kind of autonomy.  Not gonna happen on ~*My Day*~!!!!
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]

I'm assuming you're marrying yourself. Wouldn't want the groom upstaging you!