Mother and Matron of Honor in a battle

alnally1

My Matron of Honor likes to dabble in graphic design and, as a gift, she wanted to do our wedding invites. My mother was also interested in doing my invites (being even less skilled than my MOH in graphic design) but eventually conceded the task to my MOH. She worked on a sample for about a month and finally she sent me a sample which, I thought, with a few tweaks, could look very sleek, modern and stylish. When I showed my mom her design she said that it "didn't go" with my "wedding style"  and that it was "ugly". She promptly sent me her design which, while pretty, I thought was just too busy. When I told my mom my feelings she played it off but I could tell she was hurt. How do I make this better? I mean, I would love to save the money on invites but if it is going to cause such drama I might as well just off and buy some myself. Thoughts?

alnally1

She says that everything has to match and belong to the same "theme". The wedding invitations dictate what the bridal shower invitations look like...and the place cards, and the menues, and the table numbers. I really just wish they could/would settle this themselves. The back and forth is exhausting for me.

TiffannieF

I agree with Edie. Also she is wrong about everything matching. One of my shower invitations were aprons while the wedding invitation had a fall theme. No one will notice invitations being same as the programs, menus, & programs.

Summer2011Bride

My shower invitations didn't match our wedding ones, and our STDs didn't match. Neither did the menu cards or escort cards. Not everything has to match exactly.

Do you like the MOH's design? If you do, I would go with that, and tell your mom that while you value her opinion, you like the invites and don't think everything has to match. I agree with PP that she sounds very interested in helping with the wedding, so perhaps having her help with something else will make her feel better.

If you aren't crazy about MOHs design and feel this will just cause more unnecessary drama, then perhaps politely decline both hers and your mother's designs and go in a different direction totally with your invitations.

banana468

"Mom, thanks but we agreed that MOH was doing the invitations and I really like her design.  Is there something else you'd like to do to help?  I know there are a TON of things for the wedding that could use your great eye."

Don't entertain Mom's competitiion. 

graysquirrel

I think that your mom is being a little immature here. This should be about your happiness and the look you want, not the vibe she wants to go for. She is also wrong that all of your stationary needs to match. The only things of ours that matched were the invitations and the programs because they were from the same DIY line at Michaels. Our STDs were a 1950s theme (we had 50s e-pics) and our wedding was Victorian-- stuff doesn't have to match.

I agree with pps that mom could be given some other task. I'd make it something that she can feel important doing but isn't really all that big a deal, like escort cards or an insert with hotel information or something.

StephBeanWed61502

My invitations are done and ordered and I never even showed them to my mom.  If you want your MOH to do them, just have her do them.  If your mom asks, just go with "thanks mom, but I'm working on it with MOH.  Have you seen the latest episode of American Idol?"  This is only causing drama because you're allowing your mom to cause drama by involving her in something that has nothing to do with her.

JaxInBlue

Another vote for going with the invitations you like best, mom's, MOH's or someplace else.  I like the idea PPs have suggested of asking your mom to help in another area that speaks to her strengths in design and presentation.

Our paper also did not match.  Our wedding stuff was pretty well coordinated (invites, menus, table numbers,etc.) but our programs and my shower invites were DIY projects that were just slightly different.  I don't really think anyone noticed, or cared if they did.