Groomswoman?

noodle_oo

We're trying to figure out our wedding party and I dont' know why this idea didn't occur to us earlier.  I have 3 friends and my sister as BMs and FI has his brother and 1 friend on his side.  He wanted me to have his sister as a BM, but I didn't want us to be THAT uneven (5 and 2).  Originally we just weren't going to have her in the WP but it just occured to us: just have her stand up on his side!  I know people do this, but I have a bunch of questions:

1) We already asked the other attendants and she knows she wasn't asked yet (and she was okay with it, just wanted us to be happy).  Is it weird to ask her now?  Do you think she will be offended?  I'm hoping she'll be happy and realize we were just dumb to not think of this before.

2)  what is she called?  A groomswoman?  How do we put her in the program?

3)  what should she wear?  I was thinking a black dress in the same style as the BMs dresses.

4)  do I need to get her a bouquet?

5)  is it okay to have her walk out with a BM?  That is the only time she'll be paired off.

Any other advice from people who have done this before?  Thanks!

gottahavashorti

1) We already asked the other attendants and she knows she wasn't asked yet (and she was okay with it, just wanted us to be happy).  Is it weird to ask her now?  Do you think she will be offended?  I'm hoping she'll be happy and realize we were just dumb to not think of this before.

I think it could be okay, depending on how long it has been since you asked the others and her personality.

2)  what is she called?  A groomswoman?  How do we put her in the program?

Groomswoman works.

3)  what should she wear?  I was thinking a black dress in the same style as the BMs dresses.
That works.  So does any black dress, a pantsuit, or a black dress with a sash in your BM dress color.

4)  do I need to get her a bouquet?

I'd say either a boquet or a pin on corsage.  If you and your FI don't have a preference, ask her what she thinks.

5)  is it okay to have her walk out with a BM?  That is the only time she'll be paired off.

Yes, or you can do a weave - alternate BM and GM walking out.  If she's paired, they don't have to link arms.  Or have one of the GM walk with both her and a BM.

MyNameIsNot

1) You still have 9 months to your wedding.  It's far enough out that she probably won't think she's an after thought.

2) Groomswoman, grooms attendant, best woman, etc.  I think groomswoman is the most common one I've personally heard.

3) I've seen them wear black cocktail dresses, black dresses in a similar style to the BMs, a dress the same style/color as the BMs, a dress in an accent color, or a pant suit with a colored blouse.  Talk to her about what she'd be comfortable wearing, and go from there.

4) Either a bouquet or a bout.  I'd go with a bouquet.

5) It's fine to have them walk out how ever.  If the numbers work to pair her with a BM, fine.  If she walks out alone, fine.  We had 4/2, and I had the last two girls walk out together.  It was fine.  They don't have to lock arms or anything. 

aerinpegadrak

1) You're far enough away that you can ask, I would think.

2)  We're calling ours a groomswoman.

3)  Ours is a bit different, since the BMs are wearing black dresses in various styles, so the GW will be wearing silver.  I think black is usually the norm for groomswomen.

4)  If you're getting the other members of the WP flowers, she should get flowers as well.  Ours is getting a pin-on corsage.

5)  They can walk in pretty much however you want.  If she'll be walking in with a BM, they don't have to link arms, they can just walk side by side.

mbcdefg

1. Ditto MyNameIsNot, you're still far enough out that she might not even notice.

If you think it'd be a problem asking her after everyone else, though, maybe you could say, "I'm sorry we didn't ask you sooner. We both really want you in the wedding but caught up in the wedding industry B.S. of 'Sides must be even and gender-specific.' We'd rather include people we love than stick to bogus and unfair traditions, so we'd love it if you would be FI's attendant."

Ditto above for everything else.