Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Party
Assign tables or no?
We are having a plated dinner with 3 choices. I was going to color code the name/place cards depending on what the guest chose; I would use one of my wedding colors for beef, one color for chicken, and the other for fish.
Do you think I should assign tables for guests to sit at or let everyone fend for themselves?
Do you think I should assign tables for guests to sit at or let everyone fend for themselves?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Assign tables or no?
Planning/Married Biology
I hate hate hate going to a wedding with no assigned seating. We always end up outside the seating area grabbing people, huddling together, and trying to all get to one table before other randoms come and sit down. I find it enormously stressful.
With assigned tables, I can calmly walk around, get myself a nice glass of wine, chat with whomever and know my seat is waiting for me.
It's just one meal - people can get up and move around once the dinner is over.
Also, FI and I went to a wedding a couple of years ago and we only knew the bride and groom. They did not have assigned tables so FI and I ended up sitting at a table by ourselves for two hours (it took the bride and groom that long to get there.) We ended up leaving before dinner was even served because we were bored and felt really awkward.
I would've appreciated if they had assigned tables so we at least would've had people to talk to. They know us well enough that they could have seated us with people they knew we'd get along with.
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
Suz: I'm an advocate of assigning tables, but not seats. It will make it easier on your servers, but there are many other additional reasons for me:
Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.
It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.
It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.
It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)
It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.
It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.
I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.
Do table assignments.
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
I think if you aren't doing assigned seating you just have to be aware that people will probably spread out a little bit more, so have some extra chairs/tables. Also, I do think in that case, it's nice to reserve tables for the immediate family and wedding party.
But I think with a plated dinner, it may be more of a courtesy to your caterers than anyone to have assigned tables, so at least they can have some idea of which meals go where.
It's a girl!
We had open seating because it was a cocktail reception with scattered seating and it worked well. Most of our guests knew each other and I believe the few couples who didn't know many others were introduced to people they'd get along with during the cocktail hour - my dad had spent some time plotting which people he'd like to see together.
I do understand the reasons behind table assignments though, and for many weddings I think they're appropriate and necessary. I've just never been to a wedding with open seating that really should have had table assignments or where there was a madhouse or clinging to seats because of it.
Planning/Married Biology
My sister and I had an experience earlier this spring that drove this home for me. It wasn't a wedding, it was a funeral for the mom of childhood friends of ours. Our families were very close, and her daughters invited my sister and me to the post-funeral luncheon was being held. We each drove a significant distance, but it was important to us to be there.
We walked into the lovely venue where the luncheon was. We knew exactly 3 people there, and when we got to the room, there were only individual seats at tables where we knew no one.
We both sort of stood awkwardly, deciding that we'd go sit and visit with each other at a table away from the gathering. Fortunately, we were "rescued" by our friends who saw the dilemma and rearranged some people so that we could sit together at least.
It was terribly uncomfortable for us both. Granted it wasn't a wedding. But it was exactly the feeling that I imagine people who don't know what to do about sitting at a reception feel.
My family can't even decide where to sit when we go out to eat or have a family get together. We'll just stand around until someone makes the first move (usually me--I'm hungry!!) I can't even imagine a group of 100+ trying to figure out seating arrangements. Assign tables but not seats.
I've never been to a wedding with open seating, but I know in general at events like that I feel anxious about trying to grab a seat with the people I know, and who's going to sit where, and this table only has 4 seats left but we're 5 people. It may all work out fine in the end (like at Brooke's wedding), but I do have that feeling at first, and I'd rather just be told where I'm sitting and not stress about it.
Married bio
Pro pics
Travel and expat life blog
Planning Bio-Updated 3/11 with groomsmen attire
Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
My Planning Bio
My Married Bio updated March 4
Plenty of brides will say that they didn't have a seating chart and their guests did fine, but really how can they know? At most weddings, the bride and groom are the last to come in so they don't see the chaos, or if they do come in, they will be so caught up in talking to people that they won't notice.
Brooke- I have asked a couple of the brides/grooms if they noticed the problems with seating and all of them said that there wasn't a problem and seating worked out fine. They had no idea.
bio
Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
bio
Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
I've been to an open seating wedding once and it was very awkward. Got stuck at a table with only one other couple who wasn't very talkative; we ate the entire meal in silence.
I highly recommend assigned tables.
I had a horrible experience. The Bride and groom decided on open seating, but all the seating wasn't in the main room. This made it so many people were not in the main reception hall, and some were on a deck that was covered and heated, but still cold. There were reserved tables for certain family members, but not for others. All very bizarre. The Bride had SIL's sitting outside on the deck who complained the whole time. It was a debacle.
This was mainly because they chose a venue too small for their guest list.
Another caterer insisted that people "didn't like" assigned seating and pitched her a place with seating for LESS than her guest list. Proposed that people are always up and down.
My point to her was that our parents are getting older, and that people dont' want to go 8 rounds of "you stole my seat" at a wedding.
I never thought of true assigned seating...just assigned tables.
Very interesting though, and I know it works sometimes too!
[QUOTE]Suz: I'm an advocate of assigning tables, but not seats. It will make it easier on your servers, but there are many other additional reasons for me: Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left. It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive. It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers. It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?) It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together. It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8. I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit. Do table assignments.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]
My mom is advising me against seating charts because its unnecessary drama. I haven't found one glitch as I did my entire side, of 120 people, in an afternoon! It's so easy to assign tables. I agree with what Trix said, it eases peoples minds. I went to my own father's wedding and had to sit in the back because I got stuck in a long line of traffic! You thought they would have had reserved seating, but they didn't. I am for assigned tables all the way, its not as hard as you think!