Assign tables or no?

AmandaK2010

It's funny to me that everyone loves assigned tables but I hate it.  Maybe it is just the area I am from, but it is not done very often.

I have been to two weddings where it was done and I hated it both times.  One wedding I was obviously at the random person table because my FI and I sat with one other couple at a table for 8 in a corner with a couple my parents' age.  That was awkward, but they probably didn't know where to put us.

Even worse, at my cousin's wedding, I was not seated with any of my family.  I was seated a table with some of my cousin's HS friends (we are the same age and went to the same HS).  The problem is that we didn't have the same friends in HS, so these were people I hadn't talked to in at least 5 years and probably didn't even talk to in HS.  It was very uncomfortable for both myself and my FI.

Perhaps it is just something my region doesn't do.

Jangelis

The last wedding I went to, which was a buffet breakfast, there was no assigned seating except for the bridal party. I didnt know many people at that wedding but I was glad that I was able to choose a seat at a table with people who I felt that Id have a good time with. It worked out fine.

The wedding that I went to prior to that one, the bride and groom tried to do the assigned seating thing and what happened is that ppl eventually chose where and with whom they wanted to sit, totally doing away with the seating plan. It worked pretty well. It was a buffet style dinner so that caused no issues for the caterer.

So not having a seating plan can be a good thing. I dont plan on having a seating plan at my wedding. Its not a big wedding and I figure that guests will gravitate to whereever they feel most comfortable sitting and with whom.

 

jess.swope

I absolutely agree with assigning tables. I'm doing the same thing at our reception. Not only is it going to help my caterer, but it's also going to help cut down on some stressful situations between my extended family and his. It also allows you to mix up some conversation between the families by pairing some relations from each side with similar interests.

estherjacob

i vote assigned tables.  i'm going to do that for my wedding.. but not assigned seats.

sarah42nd

I am having open seating but I am also allowing extra seat ( about 20 )  .I am also reserving the WP and family tables.  We are also having a buffet style dinner.

 I have heard some bad stories both ways . I have heard of people being assigned to sit somewhere and moving there seats to other locations then you end up with  11 seats at one place anyways. Its a hasle to assign people with people that you think would get along . You could assign someone to sit next to someone they hate or have issues with and not even know it .

defstar82

please please assign tables!!! at the very least! its the absolute worst when they're not assigned. its like junior high cafeteria all over again, hoping you can find somewhere to sit with people you know.

i had a nightmare of an experience with that. i went to a wedding with no assigned seating, and more than a few people brought extra people. by the time my family and i entered we had nowhere to sit! we were standing against the wall, and we were invited guests!

that's just a HUGE no no. if you want people to enjoy themselves, assigning tables doesn't take THAT long and is better for everyone involved.

tinylittlebird

See, I can see the opposing side to the "seat people at a certain table so they don't have to sit with someone they don't like" theory. I've been to weddings before where my FI and I got seated at a table with a bunch of single people, when his family (dad, step mom, brother and sister) were seated half way across the room, and his aunts and uncles were all sat at other tables from us. The people who actually knew weren't even near us! 

Right after dinner we pulled our chairs over there anyway b/c we didn't really know the other people we were seated with.

Also, for our own wedding, we have 2 couples who are no longer on speaking terms, but they're both best friends with the same other couples. I don't want to force them to sit together or to have one sit alone, but I also don't want to force their other friends to split up because of the feud. 

I haven't decided for sure if we're doing assigned seating or not, but we're having a buffet so if we don't it won't be too difficult. If people want to cram 10 people to a table, by all means... it's their choice. 

krystalmarie24

I totally agree, assigned tables is the way to go! Eliminates drama for alot of people...we're doing the same thing with the color coded placecards..

aricherry

Personally, I've never been to a wedding with assigned tables or seating and I have never had a problem. You do not have to do it if you do not want to, but your color coding is great.

Brent&Rebekah

We are doing plated dinners as well and our caterer suggested putting colored rhinestones on the place cards so that they could still be the same color.  I'm in the same boat though, assigned tables are nice, but lots of work!  If you do decide to go with them try www.marthastewertweddings.com/planning. You can import your guests and seat them there  

paceyjoe

definitely assign tables! when i went to a wedding with open seating even with reserved tables...that caused even more confusion because no one in the wedding party or parents knew who exactly the reserved tables were for. the bride's grandparents were sitting at the reserved tables with the rest of the WP but the groom's parents were left standing off to the side because they didn't know if they should be sitting at the reserved table or find their own seat. it caused drama that i didn't hear the end of for the rest of the night.

but i  wouldn't do assigned seats, too controlling if you ask me!

Babyblue033

My parents actually just came back from a wedding that had open seating, and they ended up standing around for good 30 minutes because there were not enough seats! And they knew plenty of people there, just not enough seats either due to bad planning or too many unexpected (uninvited) guests. I'm definitely going to have seating charts for my wedding!

entwinedlove

I've never been to a wedding that had assigned tables or plated dinners. I honestly don't think my family would notice escort cards for assigned tables. Though depending on how many people our guest list totals out to be, venue, and what style dinner we serve, I would defintely assign tables.

sexymander

We're only assigning tables for our closest family and the wedding party and their dates.  The only reason we will assign seats is if my fiance's mom comes (his father is married and his mother has a boyfriend, his mom and step mom don't get along), but it's not likely she'll show. 
We went to a wedding with assigned seating and they finally gave up on it.  They had a buffet style dinner, and their seating was ridiculous.  The bridal party was at one table and the wedding planner came and forcibly moved everyone not in the party even though the tables were not labeled or marked.  When the bride and groom realized the planner put the outspoken athiest beside the pushy preist, and moved a groomsman's gf across the room with people she didn't know, they told her to stop and had the dj announce there was no specific seating.  Everyone ended up moving to different tables about three times before they figured out what was going on.

Titos#1girl

I don't know if this helps. I wouldn't put the people at the same table based on what they are eating...i have assigned seating BUT instead of different color place cards (which is a neat idea) I have little jewel stickers in the color of our wedding colors and they are going in the corner of the place card depending on the entree, we have 3 as well and we contacted the caterer to let them know. I hope this helps you out. ;-)

banana468

If you take the time to assign people who will get along best together, you shouldn't have an issue.  We sat cousins with cousins their age.  College friends sat with college friends, etc.  It wasn't an issue because we made sure to seat people with those they'd enjoy the most.

ebmargit

Definitely assign tables (but I'm not into assigning seats).  At my cousin's wedding, a whole bunch of extra people (about 40)  showed up to the reception and there was nowhere for the families to sit!!!!  Seriously - the mother of the bride did not have a table.  There was no real way to figure out who wasn't supposed to be there. They had to pull out extra tables and chairs, and my then-boyfriend (now husband - we had been dating just a few months then) and I ended up having to sit with a bunch of people we didn't know, and who were very rude (and probably weren't supposed to be there) and it was very uncomfortable.  We had traveled to be there and would really rather have sat with people we wanted to talk to.  Then, there wasn't enough food, so we ended up leaving and finding a Greek restaurant, then coming back to dance.

It was awful, but at least we got some stories.  Especially if people have gone to the trouble of selecting a meal, please assign tables!  You'll avoid at least a few party crashers.

klmeyer4

I'm doing assigned tables at my wedding. I'm also doing a plated, sit-down dinner. It will be SO much easier to organize a sit-down dinner if the you and the caterer have some sort of idea as to where people are sitting. I'm all for it!

j&b_bullock

We are doing assigned tables, but not seats.  We feel this will make sure no one is "excluded" or sitting alone.

meangreengurl04

Wow, after reading these posts, there is no question in my mind of whether or not to assign tables. I don't think assigning seats is necessary, but assigning tables really takes the stress off your guests. The only way I've seen open seating work is at small receptions with only hors d'eourves and/or cake. Plus, both sets of our parents are divorced, and they really should not sit together...I don't want to think of that possibility. So this might be a little challenging for that reason, but I think it will make everything a lot smoother (and we're having a buffet dinner). It's like putting together a puzzle!

jamiecoates

Assigning seats takes longer than the guests will actually be seated.  We are combining our candle favors with the name cards.  Each favor has a ribbon that signifies the protein choice.  Pink for fish, brown for chicken and green for veggie.  Our caterer is more than willing to accommidate our request, considering each server can only carry 2 plates at a time.

LittleViolet

We're having a less formal wedding/reception, full of offbeat twists. No formal dinner for us... instead we're getting pizza! There is likely to be less than 75 people there... are assigned tables still necessary?

crystal27lynn

trix1223 hit the nail on the head!

kimibjcc

I decided to do assigned tables after a baby shower I went to. There were people trying to squeeze into an already filled table just to sit with the people they wanted to talk to which left 2 other tables with only 3 people who didnt know anyone. We are doing stations but I will have assigned tables just not assigned seats at that table. This way I can ensure everyone has a designated place, noone will be squeezeing and I know everyone at the tables knows atleast one person.

Rache Spoodeena

We literally did our assigned tables yesterday, and maybe we got lucky but it only took a couple hours to do! We have a few friends that will not know anyone, so we wanted to ensure they were sitting with people they would get along with. I actually copied what they did in "I Love You Man"-- got some paper plates, wrote the table numbers on them, then a bunch of Post-Its with people's names on them and stuck them on the plates. Worked out beautifully!

Good luck!

Ginitasd

Yes, assigned tables...less stress for you at the end of the bargain. Ok, I know what that means, more time trying to figureit out where to seat uncle X and untie Y whom don't speak to each other for ages, but is your wedding and you should try to have fun on all stages. Trust me!

megandjay

Please assign tables!!! I also have had a terrible experience, wandering around at a reception trying to find a seat, like in junior high at the cafeteria (I know someone else used this analogy, but it really is perfect).

I can see that if you have LOTS of extra seats, open seating might not be a problem, but otherwise it just puts the burden and discomfort onto your guests.

I just finished assigning my tables and it worked out great.

ETA: I think that the reasoning to not assign seats- because it will be time consuming or a hassle for the bride and groom are terrible reasons not to assign seats. Although it might take more time and effort on your part, it is important to be a good host for your guests and consider their comfort.

The reasons that you have buffet and extra seats, and that it is tradition in your area are all good reasons (IMO) to not assign seats.