Anxious and stressed over bridesmaids :(

FruitSnack84

My wedding is in about 6 months, and I really need to finalize the wedding party.

I am definitely having my sister as MOH, and my best friend as a bridesmaid, but the rest if my friends are all at the same "level"...it's hard to pick one and not another, because I'm equally close with them. There is one really old friend that I always thought I would have as a bridesmaid, but she and I are not close anymore and I feel strange and insecure about asking her. My best friend is closer with her than she is with me, and old friend is best friend's MOH. I guess it feels kind of shiitty to consider someone your best friend when you aren't theirs.

My other option is to ask my FI's cousin, who I hang out with sometimes, and is definitely the family member of his that I'm closest to. However, she is pregnant and use about 3 weeks before our wedding! She is adamant that they will be at the wedding, but having no baby making experience myself, I'm not sure if she would be able to be a bridesmaid? This is her second child and they're actually going to disneyworld the week after our wedding!

This is strangely the most stressful part of all of the wedding planning for me! I have so much anxiety about having someone turn me down or think that I'm desperate for asking them. I'm really losing my mind, I know.

Any advice? Counseling? Lol.

beardownbchs

You could always just go with the two definates you have. Sides do not have to be even if your FI has more GMs and that way none of your other friends would be hurt. 

Seriously, the less bridesmaids, the less stress.

Simply Fated

I'm not sure why you aren't going with just your definites. I think if you're on the fence about anyone, then they probably shouldn't be considered. A few people on this forum suggest this method to choosing your wedding party: If you need to call someone at 3am to help hide a body, who do you call?

cwaggoner07

Overall, less bridesmaids, less stress. If it were ME, I'm really big on family over friends (some may disagree), so I would ask FI's cousin, and if she decides she can't handle it, she will decline. That's just me.

FruitSnack84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anxious-and-stressed-over-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ce784cd-7884-4154-8277-238718d724fcPost:5f506d07-190e-41b3-8de0-e0c6f892d43a">Re: Anxious and stressed over bridesmaids :(</a>:
[QUOTE].it's hard to pick one and not another, because I'm equally close with them Why "pick one and not another" if you are equally close to them?? Pick both of them.

Because I have 5 other girlfriends that I'm equally close to.

She is adamant that they will be at the wedding, but having no baby making experience myself, I'm not sure if she would be able to be a bridesmaid? Why isn't she capable of deciding that for herself? She's not a child... she is HAVING a child. She will tell you herself if she thinks it's too much for her.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]



You are reading too much into this. I didn't say she's not capable of deciding, I'm just wondering if someone who just had a baby would be feeling up to it.

beardownbchs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anxious-and-stressed-over-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ce784cd-7884-4154-8277-238718d724fcPost:5e201172-89a4-40e1-805a-983d831612cd">Re: Anxious and stressed over bridesmaids :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anxious and stressed over bridesmaids :( : You are reading too much into this. I didn't say she's not capable of deciding, I'm just wondering if someone who just had a baby would be feeling up to it.
Posted by FruitSnack84[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>The only person who would able to answer this is her. She's an adult and can make her own decisions. Say something like, "I would love for you to be part of our wedding party but I don't want you to feel overwhelmed since you've just had the baby." and let her make the decision. If you want her in the wedding, that is.</div>

FruitSnack84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_anxious-and-stressed-over-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3ce784cd-7884-4154-8277-238718d724fcPost:be2e0d43-2348-4acb-84b1-ac4da086e1bd">Re: Anxious and stressed over bridesmaids :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anxious and stressed over bridesmaids :( : The only person who would able to answer this is her. She's an adult and can make her own decisions. Say something like, "I would love for you to be part of our wedding party but I don't want you to feel overwhelmed since you've just had the baby." and let her make the decision. If you want her in the wedding, that is.
Posted by beardownbchs[/QUOTE]



Thanks, I will use that exact line haha! :)