Wedding Party

Sister-in-law pregnant and stealing show

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Re: Sister-in-law pregnant and stealing show


  • LD1970 - That was a beautiful story and an excellent reminder.  Not all couples live together either before marriage.  MY FI just moved in recently during our engagement, so there has been some adjusting on both of our parts.  I don't think getting married automatically is going to change my life in the moment I do, but I certalnly thing as LD told us, that they type of love I have found will indeed change my life.  We are really far off from the OP....
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  • LD1970LD1970 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yeah, you know how there are some people in your life that you're really glad for, because in some way they're just really worth knowing?  He was one of those.

    I wouldn't wish their hardships on anyone (nor would he), but the love & commitment... I wish that on EVERYONE.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_sister-law-pregnant-stealing-show?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3eb7cef9-24f2-43d4-bd45-749cf6e6e5f8Post:2ff04a6d-ed88-4276-a3d9-c5bf28433095">Re: Sister-in-law pregnant and stealing show</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, I really mean thank you for putting me in my place! I posted the original comment because I haven't mentioned anything to anyone about my thoughts and I appreciate these boards because we can all help each other through stressful engagement periods. No, when I first got engaged I did not go on and on about my wedding plans with everyone. I'm a little uncomfortable being the center of attention. But I did appreciate that people were interested and I would give them my answers and ask for their input. But I don't like to make things about myself. My SIL and I get along well, and I am happy for her and my brother. And I'm not concerned about her stealing the show or anything.. my wedding is a big deal to me, but like I said - I'm uncomfortable being the center of attention. I'm more concerned about everyone having a good time. What I was mostly annoyed with at my shower was that she wasn't lifting a finger while my other bridesmaids showed up early, stayed late, cleaned up, etc. Yes, my other bridesmaids asked for her help - she was supposed to show up early. I've known my SIL to do this on several other occasions, when she was not pregnant. I felt bad that everyone else was doing so much and that she was not contributing. But regardless, I do appreciate the constructive criticism. It's helpful to get an outsiders advice and for someone to put me in my place. I needed it. I've moved on. I had no idea this would get such a large response and now I feel like I need to defend myself! So thank you for the helpful comments, and Peony - don't get so offended next time!
    Posted by h1lloyd[/QUOTE]
     
    I am sorry but yesterday I just found out I am expecting... and it just felt weird/annoying to hear someone say that her FSIL talking about her baby the whole time made her try to steal the show etc.

    It's not true at all.  Stealing what show? 

    I am supposed to be in a wedding next July and I just hope the bride does not think I am trying to steal the show or that I am not helping a lot with the shower/bach/etc. 

    Having a baby is an exciting thing and it won't still the show for you or anything like that. You said yourself you didn't like the attention.  Just feel glad that at the bachelorette party the bm's actually had something to talk about.  A lot of times, the girls are not close and never met each other and sometimes can be a little awkward and sometimes the bm's don't know what to say to each other, etc. 

    so at least someone had a story or upcoming life event to break the ice
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  • My friend and BM just told us all that she is pregnant, and we are all so happy for her!! There is no way I would ever be so selfish as to be angry that she shared this wonderful news with us. It's interesting because I actually asked her why she didn't tell us earlier. Her response was, "I didn't want to start talking about baby stuff because you were talking about wedding stuff, and I didn't want to barge in." CRAZY GIRL, just freaking tell us!

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  • My adorable, wonderful, cute nephew was AT my bridal shower, and everybody held him, and talked about him, and played with him instead of focusing on me. And you know what? I LOVED it! He is 3 months old, and he is wonderful and exciting. I've been around for 23 years, and will be married for probably 50-60 years. I'm okay with letting a brand new baby steal the attention for five minutes, and I think you should be too.

    Good luck!
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  • Apparently I am the only person who feels it was poor manners on the other girl's part to make a major announcement about herself at a party meant to honor someone else. 

    I don't see where the OP was whining or being princessy at all, but that's just me.

    Is it something that will alter the course of the marriage or the friendship?  Probably not.  Major faux pas?  Not really.  I do think the pregnant girl pulled some of the OP's thunder with her announcement... but it was probably inadvertent, and not meant to insult her or purposely make the party all about her.  She was just really excited to share her news and temporarily forgot her manners.  How wrong she really was depends on your own personal opinion. 

    I have to cut the OP a little slack here.  Sorry.

    IMHO, weddings and babies don't trump each other.  They are on equal footing and must coexist. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_sister-law-pregnant-stealing-show?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3eb7cef9-24f2-43d4-bd45-749cf6e6e5f8Post:f9255ee4-d616-44a9-ae67-c979f472c73a">Re: Sister-in-law pregnant and stealing show</a>:
    [QUOTE]Apparently I am the only person who feels it was poor manners on the other girl's part to make a major announcement about herself at a party meant to honor someone else.  I don't see where the OP was whining or being princessy at all, but that's just me. Is it something that will alter the course of the marriage or the friendship?  Probably not.  Major faux pas?  Not really.  I do think the pregnant girl pulled some of the OP's thunder with her announcement... but it was probably inadvertent, and not meant to insult her or purposely make the party all about her.  She was just really excited to share her news and temporarily forgot her manners.  How wrong she really was depends on your own personal opinion.  I have to cut the OP a little slack here.  Sorry. IMHO, weddings and babies don't trump each other.  They are on equal footing and must coexist. 
    Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

    You didn't read her post apparently because the pregnant BM/SIL did not make the baby annoucement at the OP bacherette party.  OP said she made the annoucement the day before.  I think that makes a big difference. 

    She broke the news the day before and on the day of she probaby was just adding in more details/talking baby stuff.. because the whole excitement suspensul words of "I'm pregnant and having a baby" did not take place at the party. 

    FSIL was simply talking more about the baby/pregnancy.  It was not rude AT ALL.  And a bachelorette party is not just for the bride.  It is a party for all the bridesmaids and the bride to all hang out and have fun together.  Not all about the bride.  It's about all the girls.  You can't have a bachelorette party without the bridesmaids, therefore it's a party for everyone. 

    Again, she didn't make "a major annoucement about herself at a party meant to honor someone else".  And also I hardly feel that a bachelorette party is meant to honor someone.  It's not about honoring, it is about giving the bride a girl's night out.  A wedding might honor someone, but a bachelorette does not.

    Also, even if the FSIL in fact did announce the baby news at the bachelorette (which she didn't) she should be allowed to bear this great news and feel proud and happy about it.. whether it's a regular friday night or a bachelorette/girls night
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  • Wow, some people are pretty harsh about this subject!  Yikes!

    Okay here's what I think about your dilemma-- I do not think you're self-centered, I mean, hello, it is your wedding, it WILL be all about you pretty soon.  :)  We have it engraved in our minds that it's all about us for that one day --but then when we do actually act like it's about us for that small time frame, we still get verbally smacked.  What gives?

    As far as your pregnant SIL not cleaning up and acting as though the world revolves around her has nothing to do with being pregnant (especially if she's only 5 weeks!), so all these people should back off of you.  She is clearly just a self-centered lady, regardless of being preggers or not.

    And for the people saying being pregnant/having a baby is far more important than being married...how dare they??  How dare they rank one over the other?  Does that mean they are only getting married to have children?  Haha.  And what about those who choose not to have children?  I guess their marriages aren't as 'important' as those with children.  Most of you who get married to have kids will probably end up getting divorced anyways!  Okay, enough of me ranting about that.... 

    I'm not a self-centered person either, but I guess it would kinda irk me if all I heard at all of my pre-wedding parties was about babies.  And for all these people on here who say that is wrong of you to think that way, they are wrong.  (1st of all, an opinion cannot be wrong, that's the whole point of an opinion.  Isn't that great?!)  I can guarantee that no one on here would warmly welcome their shower/bachelorette party/etc. to revolve entirely around one pregnant woman.  It's your parties girl!

    However, you obviously can't make someone shut their mouth (unless you are the bridezilla type, which you don't sound like) and yes we are in America and have the freedom to speak.  I would just work on how you can politely change the conversation whenever the topic of babies come up.  Maybe you could laugh and say "Hey, let's save that talk for the baby shower!"  Hopefully most people would get the hint with that and bring the attention back to YOU. 

    I know this is all a lot to read, but hopefully this makes you feel like you are normal!  The closer you get to the wedding, the closer you tend to overthink things and overwhelm yourself.  Trust me, I'm quite guilty of this and I'm one of the most laid back girls ever!  Good luck with everything-- I think you're doing everything just fine.  You go girl!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_sister-law-pregnant-stealing-show?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3eb7cef9-24f2-43d4-bd45-749cf6e6e5f8Post:fd2c6085-b7cf-4ec1-a405-5694b10e4980">Re: Sister-in-law pregnant and stealing show</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, some people are pretty harsh about this subject!  Yikes! Okay here's what I think about your dilemma-- I do not think you're self-centered, I mean, hello, it is your wedding, it WILL be all about you pretty soon.  :)  We have it engraved in our minds that it's all about us for that one day --but then when we do actually act like it's about us for that small time frame, we still get verbally smacked.  What gives? As far as your pregnant SIL not cleaning up and acting as though the world revolves around her has nothing to do with being pregnant (especially if she's only 5 weeks!), so all these people should back off of you.  She is clearly just a self-centered lady, regardless of being preggers or not. And for the people saying being pregnant/having a baby is far more important than being married...how dare they??  How dare they rank one over the other?  Does that mean they are only getting married to have children?  Haha.  And what about those who choose not to have children?  I guess their marriages aren't as 'important' as those with children.  Most of you who get married to have kids will probably end up getting divorced anyways!  Okay, enough of me ranting about that....  I'm not a self-centered person either, but I guess it would kinda irk me if all I heard at all of my pre-wedding parties was about babies.  And for all these people on here who say that is wrong of you to think that way, they are wrong.  (1st of all, an opinion cannot be wrong, that's the whole point of an opinion.  Isn't that great?!)  I can guarantee that no one on here would warmly welcome their shower/bachelorette party/etc. to revolve entirely around one pregnant woman.  It's your parties girl! However, you obviously can't make someone shut their mouth (unless you are the bridezilla type, which you don't sound like) and yes we are in America and have the freedom to speak.  I would just work on how you can politely change the conversation whenever the topic of babies come up.  Maybe you could laugh and say "Hey, let's save that talk for the baby shower!"  Hopefully most people would get the hint with that and bring the attention back to YOU.  I know this is all a lot to read, but hopefully this makes you feel like you are normal!  The closer you get to the wedding, the closer you tend to overthink things and overwhelm yourself.  Trust me, I'm quite guilty of this and I'm one of the most laid back girls ever!  Good luck with everything-- I think you're doing everything just fine.  You go girl!
    Posted by BrittKnight[/QUOTE]

    "Hello, it's your wedding".. sorry but no, it is not her wedding yet so it is not her day yet.

    No it's not all about her.  A wedding is not all about the bride.  It is about the bride and groom committing to each other in front of all their loved one's, family and friends, so it's a big deal for the guests too, not just the bride. 

    Too many brides's think it's all about them and at the shower and bachelorette everyone has to be gauking at them, and talking about nothing but them and their wedding.  That is the only way this bride would be happy. 

    Like I said, the FSIL did not make any big announcement about her pregnancy at the shower.  She made the annoucement the day before and the next day she was simply telling more details and talking more about the baby.  A baby is a big part of someone's life and no she should not remain hush about the baby at the shower. 

    She obviously told everyone the day before about the pregnancy, so of course at the shower all her family and mother, other bridesmaids and etc who were at the shower are obviously gonna bring it up and ask her questions.  There is nothing wrong with that.  And if FSIL is the one who brought it up, there is nothing wrong with that either.

    Whatever life event the FSIL is going through at the moment whether buying a new house, getting engaged, having a baby, getting pregnant etc, she is going to talk about it because she is the sister in law therefore all the groom's side of the family is probably at the shower too, and they are going to want to know some details. 

    All these bridezilla's that think that no one can taklk about anything other than her wedding, needs to get their priorities straight because the world does not revolve around you.. The other guests are there to enjoy their time and each other and talk about what is going on in their lives.  They are not going to be talking about the bride the whole entire time.  A shower gives them the opportunity to catch up and talk to relatives one hasn't seen or talked to in a while.

    OP should just be happy to have a shower and be happy to have FSIL there and bm's all there to enjoy their time and not be spiteful and hold a grudge over the fact that FSIL was talking about her pregancy.
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