Wedding Party
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IT'S MY DAY!

In the post a couple down LDY says "In the words of many Knotties "It's MY wedding! I can do what I want!" "

So knotties, how many of you have actually thought this or said this during your planning?
My Grandparents on their wedding day.
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Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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Re: IT'S MY DAY!

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    I've thought it. But not said it because I don't want to be a Bridezilla. It was in response to FH's grandmother telling me that it was mandatory that her great granddaughters be flower girls and she had just as much say in the wedding as my mother.  Can't really explain that my mother isn't demanding anything and is like my best friend so her influence is a bit higher.
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    I jokingly said it to my mom when she shook hands with my brother during the "sign of peace" portion of our Nuptial Mass.  When she came back to me to give me a hug I said, "Mooom!  It's my day!"  But it was a huge joke and I wasn't serious about it at all.
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    Honestly, I said it once the morning of my wedding because my sister was being down right rude and made me cry because of her rudeness.  I whispered in her ear, "believe it or not, it's not about you today".  That was it and it was said quietly, not in a tantrum.  After that my sister checked herself and the rest of the day went smoothly.
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    I honestly haven't.  Every decision, except for the dresses, has been made by me and FI. I did utter a "you're effing kidding me" when a cousin emailed that she had booked her flight and hotel but she was going to have four hours to kill between the time her flight arrives and the time of her check in "so....somebody needs to keep me entertained."  Her arrival date is the wedding day.  Her check in is two hours before the start of the wedding.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
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    I didn't really say it, but I know the idea influenced some of my decisions, such as a couple of the entrees we selected.  We also went for the cake with raspberry in it, even though Dh's step-grandmother wouldn't be able to eat it.

    I did say "This is what I want" to the church coordinator when she was giving me a hard time about a few things.
    My Grandparents on their wedding day.
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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    We did it in regards to some of our stranger options that didn't infringe on hospitality.  So what I'm wearing a hat?  It's my day!  Yes, we're going to have an entirely non-religious ceremony, which includes a unity cocktail.  My day!  No, I'm not going to cut out the trip on the roller coaster, even if we have to push it up earlier.  MY DAY!!

    Ahem.  But we tried to be as flexible with the attendants as possible, and went out of our way to be really kickass hosts.  The way I see it, as long as they're not trodding on anyone's toes, the couple can do whatever they damn well please.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    Oh!  But I found out from my siblings that my MOM had been doing the "it's her day" thing on my behalf leading up to the wedding.  I was mortified.  Especially because it meant everyone kept looking at me to make decisions about what we should do the day before the wedding, and I don't like making decisions for a group.  They'd all just say, "But it's your day!"  And I'd say, "My day is tomorrow, it's your vacation!  Don't pass this off on me!"

    One of my bridesmaids did this, too, when I told her I didn't care what she did with her hair.  Her: "It's your day!"  Me: "And it's your head, so pick a style."

    I just wanted to shake people sometimes.  I'M TRYING TO BE LAID BACK AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING, PEOPLE!  Sheesh.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    A few times when I was arguing with my mom and grandma about some of the decisions we were making, I didn't really say "it's my day", so much as I said "it's my money".

    The only time I said, nay, I screamed  "it's my day" was at my older sister the morning of the wedding when she refused to get dressed. And then I proceeded to tell her if she didn't show up in a BM dress, she wasn't invited at all. I'll admit it was an epic hissy, but FFS, I put up with enough of her crap throughout the planning process (And I really had only asked my girls to get the dress and show up wearing it), the least she could do was not bitch about getting dressed that day.

    Which, after that happened, I proceeded to leave the house to get ready by myself, I have no idea what happened after I left, but a few hours later, she popped into my bridal suite all ready to go with a smile on her face.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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    My sil had a total It's my day meltdown when we got stuck in traffic en route to the reception and begged the limo driver to stop at burger king so we could all pee. She kept screaming "I am NOT GOING INTO A BURGER KING! IT"S MY WEDDING DAY!"

    We calmed her down by getting her a Burger King kid's crown and assuring her it was her day. She started laughing and realized she was being silly.
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    I've said it.  I'm in the unfortunate position of marrying a man whose mother doesn't approve of me not being Catholic (I'm evangelical Christian) and of us not marrying in the Catholic Church.  His entire family doesn't approve of me getting married where I live because none of them live there.  It's been rough.  I'm a people pleaser, so me repeating this to myself and certain other people is the only way I can stay sane.
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    I haven't pulled the "It's MY DAY" line yet, but when going over ideas with my MOH, she has told me, "Well it's YOUR day so I'll do whatever you ask..."

    I have the distinct feeling that if my future-ILs and I make up (not explaining, LOTS of drama right now) if my FMIL is as opinionated about wedding plans as she was about my pregnancy and is about how we raise our son...I will have to use that line at least once...
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited June 2010
    I'm not going to claim to remember everything I said during our engagement, but I do know "It's my day!" isn't the sort of thing I would have said because:

    1.  I do not, and never have, believed that it is the bride's day.  At the absolute very least it's the bride and groom's. I know I have always referred to it as "our" wedding.  Because it was.

    2.  I really didn't care about the fluff (decorations, flowers, colors, etc.) so I don't know when I would have had the opportunity.

    3.  DH and I really didn't care how the wedding looked so long as we had fun and were married at the end of it.

    4.  I remember asking vendors what they recommended and them replying "But it's your day" and me saying "no it's not."

    5.  Would someone who says "BUT IT'S MY DAY!" have let her WP pick out their own dresses down to the color?

    6.  We fired a DJ because he kept trying to sell us a spotlight first dance package for an extra $3,000 and after saying no repeatedly to it I finally said, "This is a wedding, not a show, we are not stars, we don't need the damn package."
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    I think FI would be really mad at me if I said that - to him or anybody.   I'm super worried/stressed about everything being perfect - not my way.  I have found myself saying/feeling that I only have this one day to have the perfect wedding - but its not a selfish thing.  More of an obsessive competitive scary A type thing that I'm trying to control.
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    I haven't said, "It's my day!"  But, I've probably thought it.  My mom actually says it for me.  She also refers to me as a "princess", to which I have to correct her and say that I'm just a bride. 

    I will also cop to being an extreme stickler for details.  So, I've done all the planning, DIY and the majority of the decision making, because as much as the day belongs to FI and I, if it looks like shiit, I'll get all the blame.

    Oh, I did have a moment where I kicked my sister out of the wedding.  Yeah, I did.  It was said in EXTREME anger and then she pulled herself out and now?  Everyone is okay.  She's in and we're fine. 
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    i said it once. it was in relation to my shoes of all things. my MOH is set on trying to get me to change my mind about what shoes i'm wearing. i finally broke down and said it's my wedding and these are what i want to wear. she hasn't dropped it but is much less forceful about it lol. 

    i actually hear it from other people a lot though. when deciding on something they'll say to me "it's your day so whatever you want!" which kind of annoys me and i just look at FI and ask his input lol. so far i've only vetoed him once, everything else we agreed upon. but i'm making that up to him anyway :)
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    I said, "But it's OUR wedding!" at one point when my parents were trying to add someone onto our already-packed guest list.

    The only time I remember getting somewhat nasty with someone was on the wedding morning when my BMs were tying their sashes and kept asking me how I wanted them to tie them. They were very sweet throughout the whole planning process and kept saying, "It's your day so we'll do what you want," which I appreciated but after a while it made it impossible to get anything done.

    Anyway, back to the sashes, after me saying that I didn't care and it was up to them for the millionth time, and they kept saying, "It's your day so you tell us," I said rather curtly, "I don't care, just get it done." Hope they weren't offended Embarassed
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    I haven't said it yet, but when my MOH got married last year, me and her SIL wanted shawls because it may be cold.  The bride said "it's MY day and i HATE shawls".




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    I've thought it.  As in "It's my day and I don't like pribe rib, so that's not going to be on the menu."  We only get two entree options, and I want to be able to eat both of them!  The prime rib is also more expensive, and it doesn't make sense to me to spend more when there are plenty of other options.

    My MOH and BM have each told me "It's your day".  MOH mentioned having a girls' night the night before the wedding, which I would LOVE and had thought of before.  However, I don't want to make them leave their SOs by themselves for the evening after traveling to the wedding, and I told her so.  She said that that's fine because "it's your day".  Regardless of what the other girls do, I know MOH will stay with me because otherwise her BFs parents will want them to stay at their house, and she really doesn't want to do that!
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    Haven't said it yet. My family especially my mom, sister, and aunt keep saying this when I ask for their advice. "It's your day; what do YOU want?" ...Like it's a bad thing that I am asking for their opinions. You can't win, I guess.

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    Anniversary
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    We made a couple of "it's our wedding" decisions that one or more parents weren't happy with.  But they were things that had no effect on how well we were hosting our guests, like centerpieces.
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    Haven't said it and i won't say it.. because its not my day..its about me AND my FI. Its OUR day.
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    It was never MY day. It was a day for me and DH to celebrate our union...with our friends and family present. So I never found myself uttering those words or really thinking them in a tantrummy kind of way.

    I realized early on that I would drive myself insane trying to please other people all of the time so I adopted a new attitude of wedding planning where I didn't take anything too seriously and I kept our guests in mind with decisions, but at the end of the day I also wanted to be happy with the decisions made. I think we were successful in achieving that balance b/c we have had a lot of our guests tell us how much fun they had on our wedding day. One family member said to us just this past weekend over dinner, "I'm normally not a fan of weddings in general but yours was the most fun wedding I have ever attended." And she's in her 50's so she's been to quite a few in her lifetime...

    But it's so silly when girls say this. It's not YOUR day unless you're (a) marrying yourself and (b) not inviting any guests.

    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
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    Damn right it's MY DAY! Back off biotches!

    Wink
    Anniversary
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    Suz, it is not your day.  My wedding was less than 6 months ago and it is NOT acceptable to plan your wedding within 6 months of someone else's wedding.  It's still one of my days.
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    ironically enough my FI, MOH, and several others keep saying "ITS YOUR DAY," "ITS YOUR AND JEFF'S DAY," "DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY."

    Why do I have the feeling when I put my foot down people are going to be surprised and I will be "bridezilla?"
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    Sept 2011 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Ceremony Photo Anniversary

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    As much as I don't want to break out and scream those 3 words yet, I may have to soon: my family is Italian Roman Catholic, and his side is Jewish (and future FIL practices Kosher).  The disagreements have started (food, locations, vendors, name it) and I amd close to screaming "It's my day".  Normally, I am the calmest, go with the flow individual and nothing frazzles me, but this is an entirely different ball of wax.  My bridesmaids have been ultra supportive, and have said that if I decide w/my fiance to elope, they'll help drive the get away car!
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    LD1970LD1970 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I've done "Well, it's a good thing it's OUR wedding" when my mother tried to tell me some of our ideas were stupid.
    You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ~Mae West
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    I say it to myself alot. I am the bride who constantly is worrying that my bridesmaids and family does not feel "put upon" by any of the plans..etc. I want to make sure the bridesmaids like thier dresses, dont worry about the shower to much and dont ever feel like they hated being a part of my day. I have listened to my friends so many times complain about being in other peoples wedding that in the back of my head I think "I hope they arent saying that about me"! My sister in law reminds me that its my and my FI day and we shoul dfocus on what we want the day to be and not worry about everyone else but I find that so hard to do.

    I just want everyone to be happy!
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    Gotta - we are going to fight! How dare you try to steal my thunder by getting married 6 months before me. Don't you know I demand a 1 year window to make sure it is MY day!  :)
    Anniversary
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    Oh I've thought it many days, but more like "It's OUR day and we will do what we want"  but everytime I post anything that sound like I am making a decision of my own for our wedding without consulting with everyone in the WP I get bashed to death on here!  so apparently It's everyone else's day and you are just a bride in it.

    Sorry, slightly hormonal and stressed these days lol
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