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invitation but want to elope???

we already sent out our save the date but since no one has RSVPd and  our families don't get along we are planning on just us to........thoughts?? thank you:)

Re: invitation but want to elope???

  • invites or save the dates? people dont rsvp to save the dates??
  • In Response to invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]we already sent out our save the date but since no one has RSVPd and  our families don't get along we are planning on just us to........thoughts?? thank you:)
    Posted by zacandbekah[/QUOTE]

    People don't RSVP to a STD.  They RSVP to an invitation. 
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]invites or save the dates? people dont rsvp to save the dates??
    Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

    we told them to RSVP because its a destination wedding
  • In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope??? : we told them to RSVP because its a destination wedding
    Posted by zacandbekah[/QUOTE]

    Why? We had a wedding that was destination for all but two of our guests.  We didn't need a final head count until the RSVPs that went out with the invitation came back.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • If you wanted people to RSVP to the Save the Date (and made that clear) then you've essentially sent them invitations.  You can't take that away now.  Sorry.

  • No one RSVP'd because you just don't do that with save the Dates. I'm assuming it's at least 9 or so months out from your wedding. People don't know their plans that far out. Money can change, job situations can change, families can change, etc. They probably found it odd you asked for an RSVP (I would) and had no idea how to respond this early.

    If you want to elope, fine, but I think getting upset they didn't RSVP for something you shouldn't request RSVPs for is silly. If you do decide to continue with the elopement, I would send out cards like PP suggested stating the wedding will not take place any longer on the stated date.


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    Vacation
  • In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope??? : we told them to RSVP because its a destination wedding
    Posted by zacandbekah[/QUOTE]

    Did you send a Save The Date or an invitation?   There's no reason to respond to a STD this early even for a destination wedding.    The reason people aren't responding is because you asked them too early.

    That said, you asked them so you can't go back on this without being really rude.  
  • In Response to invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]we already sent out our save the date but since no one has RSVPd and  our families don't get along we are planning on just us to........thoughts?? thank you:)
    Posted by zacandbekah[/QUOTE]

    How many of these STD/invitations did you send out?
    If you want to change your plans, you simply must contact everyone who received one and let them know that the wedding will not happen as planned. That's fine. It's not any different from anyone else cancelling a wedding for any reason, and some people might be sad that they almost got to share your day with you, but generally people understand when it comes to such a major decision.
    Also, let people know ASAP once you've committed to cancelling in case they are booking flights/hotels. 
    However, depending on how far out you are, it would be really difficult for your guests to RSVP at this point anyway. Is May 18, 2013 is accurate? I'm planning to attend a May wedding but would by no means want to RSVP until late March at earliest.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you sent them a save-the-date, that's not the same as an invitation and they don't owe you an RSVP-that's for an invitation.  That said, sending someone a save-the-date requires that you invite them, so I don't think you can elope.
  • In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]You can elope, but you must first cancel the wedding.  I suggest you elope on a different date than the one you had planned for your wedding.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    I agree.  Cancelling a wedding isn't a breach of etiquette.  Uninviting people, but still continuing with the same wedding plans/date, that is rude.

    Send out a post-card immediately and/or make phone calls, and tell people that the wedding has been cancelled.

    Then, go elope.   Don't plan any at home reception, or big wedding party/reception thing. No showers or big parties. Just go get married
  • PS.  If anyone has already booked travel for your destination wedding, it would be courteous to reimburse them for those expenses.

  • NO ONE HAS RSVPD. the dead line was oct 25th. the reason we put an rsvp on the save the date were because we were going to rent a house for everyone, therefore we needed to reserve the house early. but now we dnt have a single person besides our parent, and our parents do not get along, so why can;t we just go. just us two????
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]NO ONE HAS RSVPD. the dead line was oct 25th. the reason we put an rsvp on the save the date were because we were going to rent a house for everyone, therefore we needed to reserve the house early. but now we dnt have a single person besides our parent, and our parents do not get along, so why can;t we just go. just us two????
    Posted by zacandbekah[/QUOTE]

    No one is responding because you are asking for a response absurdly early.  It does not take 9 months to rent a vacation house, but even if you did, asking people to reply this early is ridiculous.  Why is that so difficult for you to understand?  
    If you want to cancel, send out a card saying the wedding will not take place as planned, and then go elope.  Just give it some serious thought before you do.  It sounds like you are impulsive about this stuff.  Once you cancel, there's no going back.  You can't uncancel or have a do over wedding after you elope.  
  • In Response to Re: invitation but want to elope???:
    [QUOTE]NO ONE HAS RSVPD. the dead line was oct 25th. the reason we put an rsvp on the save the date were because we were going to rent a house for everyone, therefore we needed to reserve the house early. but now we dnt have a single person besides our parent, and our parents do not get along, so why can;t we just go. just us two????
    Posted by zacandbekah[/QUOTE]

    THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO.  THIS WAS NOT AN INVITATION THAT YOU SENT. AND EVEN IF IT WERE, IT IS TOO DAMN EARLY TO EXPECT ANYONE TO BE ABLE TO ANSWER.

    What is so damn diffucult to understand here?  How big is this house that you were going to have enough rooms for all of your guests?  We rented a historic home and put our immediate families in the rooms.  Everyone else used the hotel block nearby.

    You really need to reconsider everything that you are doing if you are going off the deep end over guests not doing something that they are in no way obligated to do.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Since you have completely unreasonable expectations of your guests it's probably best for you to elope. 



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