Maid of Honor SUCKS

tiffersnc

I stopped reading when you said you sent her six websites of MOH responsibilities. I am so glad that, in all the weddings I've been in, none of my brides were like you. Holy cow. 

Apologize to her for being insane and demanding things of her. Ask her how her wedding is going for once. And stop expecting her to do anything. She doesn't have to help you at ALL. If I were her, I'd be SO glad you kicked me out of your wedding that I could hardly stand it.

jennylove810

Ugh.

SarahSonger

@ Mel - I appreciate your response.  It was the first objective post I've read, including my own.

Thank you for addressing the overall issue - my dissatisfaction with the way things turned out.  If I have been wrong in my approach, that's fine.  I can accept that, revise my expectations, and move forward.  I appreciate your perspective and your approach toward the matter.  It gives me things to consider.  It is much easier to absorb and respond to your message than many of the others.

It is not that I am upset that no one agrees with me.  I will freely admit to jumping in here, feathers ruffled and whatnot, looking for helpful advice.  I think what got me was how I ended up feeling completely attacked.  Granted, it's how I *felt*, and not necessarily how it was intended.  I did peruse a few of the earlier posts prior to posting my own, but maybe I did not dip back far enough into the history to find my questions asked in another discussion.  I apologize if this has been addressed hundreds of times before, as it was not my intention to incite anger.

Regarding one of the other questions, I didn't ask the MOH to help with any of the wedding planning.  I left that alone.  I did not ask for the party.  I did ask the MOH to handle the details of the party, yes, but only because she had persisted in telling me that it was important for me to have one.

The Bobby Brown song, with its mispronunciation, has fueled the perpetual misspelling.  Most people who misspell it also mispronounce it.

maltesegrl79

Gosh I thought my MOH was bad. A MOH isnt suppose to do everything but is suppose to help out as much as possiable. In books that Ive read it gives u the MOH responsibilties . Some are just clueless and shell realize what ur going through when its her time. Planning a wedding is stressful enough. U change ur mind on what u want. Ur maids tell u they will help when they dont. U honestly realize alot about ur so called friends. I can say I understand what your going threw. I havent gotten that far with anything and Im getting married in Oct 2010. My MOH has 5 kids and when I asked her to stand up I asked her is this something u can do do u have time for this? She told me yes.  Everytime I have tried to make plans with my MOH she ignores me. Nice huh? I found my maids dress without my MOH but with another maid and i found out how much it was it was 280 so i called my MOH when i found out and said I need to find another maid dress that is less expensive and she asked when do i want to go i said ASAP well she never came with and she said she would and I just finally told her yet again after many discussions with her concerned that she just doesnt have the time and she says she does its like a cirle of crap. I just told her call me when u get some time and she told me i shd rethink getting married and that im miserable.. Its like Im miserable because u tell me ull go with me and dont or u ignore my calls and blame me. Ive known her since elem school and im getting to the point were I will ask her not to be in it. For peaks sake she basically told me Im going to hell since Im catholic. And that shes not participating in anything at the church since Im catholic. ITs like are u for real? So what u want and who cares what ppl are saying. If ur not happy change it. This is suppose to be one of the many moments will u always remember and I dont think u want to remember a MOH that u have to tell  what to do or whatever. Its your day and u should be happy and planning a wedding is stressful and its no fun when Maids are being selfish when they say one thing and its really another good luck

notaprincessbride

The thing that bugs me is that you keep saying in your responses that you didn't ask her to do anything.  To me, sending her WIC-y websites detailing her 'responsibilities' is the same as asking, except possibly worse due to the passive-aggresive aura.  That said, you seem to be realizing your instinct to kick her out/demote her is mistaken, so good for you. 

AliTheBridesmaid

may be a little late but as a bridesmaid for 2 weddings this year, I feel the need to input

Honestly? If I was your MOH I would feel like you're overwhelming me with all of this talk. You haven't really given her a CHANCE to get excited about your wedding - you're just assuming she's as ecstatic as you are that you've found the love of your life. If either of my brides bogged me down with all of the details everytime I was with them, I wouldn't be asking them ANYTHING about the wedding (like food, ceremony location, etc) because I'd probably be sick of it. You need to back off and give her a chance to get excited on her own without breathing down her throat.  Just sayin!