Wedding Party

What do you think?

My fiance and I are thinking that we will both have four people stand up for us (four bridesmaids, including the maid of honor) and four groomsmen (including the best man). I have two older brothers and no sisters, so my bridesmaids are a few of my friends. My fiance has a lot of brothers...three older half-brothers (who are all married and have kids) and then one younger brother. He is only having his younger brother stand up in the wedding and then three of his friends. So, he's already got the people that he wants. Here's my thing--I need one more bridesmaid and have been debating between asking my fiance's sister and my soon-to-be sister-in-law. I don't see my fiance's sister much because she lives in Illinois and I live in Wisconsin...I see my brother's fiance more often and am going to be in their wedding in a couple of months. Upon telling my fiance and his mom that I thought I might ask his sister to be in the wedding, they both wondered why I would since her and I aren't that close. So, I don't have pressure to ask her....which has me leaning toward asking my brother's fiance, then. However, is it weird or rude to have my brother's fiance in the wedding but not have my brothers as groomsmen? If we were to have them stand up, I would have to find two other bridemaids. I have a lot of acquaintances but my closest friends are already bridesmaids, so I'm not sure who else I would want to ask.

I can't see my brothers being upset, especially because they are both kind of laid back and lazy :) but, I was thinking that we could ask them to be ushers. I'm just hoping to get some opinions on what you think of this idea. Thanks!

Re: What do you think?

  • No you do not need one more bridesmaid.  You pick who you are closest to no matter how many people that is.  If your sides are uneven it doesn't matter.  Having uneven sides will not make your wedding any less "real" then if you had even sides.  Also, why limit your FI to only 4 people?  What if he wanted to ask more but felt that he couldn't because of the limit set.  That isn't very nice.

    What it comes down to is you ask who you want and your FI asks who he wants...don't worry about the numbers.

  • I agree, you do not need one more BM.  Just have uneven sides.  Seriously, look through a couple posts, generally when brides ask somebody who is not close to them usually have problems.  Just don't have even sides.  For awhile my DH was going to have 3 and I only had 2.  I got in the 'I need to have even sides mode' but quickly got out of it when I started reading the boards on TK.  I'm thankful I didn't just fish around for another 'friend'.  I stuck with my 2 girls and it was perfect!
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  • If you are concerned about "even" sides, why not ask your brother to stand for you?  The people standing on your side don't have to be female.

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Ew, stop treating people like placeholders.
  • You don't need even sides, and your brothers can stand up for you.
  • UKgal321UKgal321 member
    edited May 2012
    I agree with PP that you should not pick someone just because it'll look better in pictures.  Pick who you really want to be there for you on the wedding day.  If you want your brother he can stand on your side.  I was a bride's maid in my brother's wedding and I stood with him.
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