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Can I only have bridal attendants without giving anyone titles

Hi ladies,

I am planning on having a decent sized wedding (around 100 people).  I am a very laid back person and am not into the whole bridesmaid thing but I do want a small wedding party.  I am a lot closer to my two best friends than my cousins (who have been more like sisters to me my whole life).   But I feel like they would get offended if I made my friends the MOHs instead of my two cousins.  I also want to have my fiancee's sister to be in the wedding in some way.

So, I was wonderign if it was OK to just have 'bridal attendants' or a bridal party but not give anyone official titles like MOH or bridesmaid.  Does that seem fair?

I would not make them get matching dresses but I would just ask them all to wear a black dress or something like that.

Re: Can I only have bridal attendants without giving anyone titles

  • It's fine not to designate a MOH.

    I personally don't see a difference between calling them Bridesmaids vs. Attendants or Bridal Party, but whatever floats your boat. The only time you really even need to address them as anything is if you have a program, and/or if you're referring to them in conversation ("My bridesmaids are wearing black dresses, Aunt Mabel"), so titles aren't a huge deal.

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  • Short answer:  Yes you can have just BMs without any MOH.  "I love you all too much to choose among you."
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • yup.
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  • I'm having 2 attendants and I will be refering to them as bridesmaids in the program.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    That will work great.  You can call them all BMs or all MOHs or all bride's attendants. 

    And all in black dresses will look great. 
  • Yes, just call them all BM's... and I love the look of all black dresses. If SIL didn't have them for her wedding, I would have done it for mine.
  • Yes, just have BMs.  That's what I did.  There's no need to rank them ;)
  • First and foremost - there are no "rules", as long as you and your FI agree, it's fine.

    I'm one of 4 sisters and when sis #2 got married this past October, she couldn't pick one of us to be MOH over the others so we were all just bridesmaids.  We all had the same dress and we all took roles in the ceremony (one held her flowers, one did a reading, etc) and it worked out fine.

    Don't feel pressured to do anything just because someone thinks you "should".  Good luck!
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  • I found myself in a similar situation & I'm having all BM's b/c it was easiest & I didn't feel as if I was ranking the ppl I love the most!  I just want them there & enjoying the moment.
  • I've seen other people do the same and it worked out very well. 
  • Absolutely, you do however need one person to be a witness and sign the legal documents at the ceremony but truth be told that can even be one of your parents. It doesn't matter who it is at all as long as they are physically present during the ceremony. :o)
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  • I would do that, too because I can't decide. I couldn't choose between my two best friends, so I asked my college roommate to be my MOH since she'll be with me 7 days a week at school.

    And black dresses are awesome! My best friend was married Jan. 3 and it was a black and red wedding, and the black dress look is great.
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  • I think its a good idea to do whatr ever makes u hapy!  I actually chose friends instead because I have three sisters and they r cool with that!  MY Matron and I have been friends since birth and she's the only married one, and my maid and I have been friends since 5th grade so everyone is in agrrement.  I think it is very hard when u r tryin to please everyone.  So  many say its your day but a beautiful bride wants a drama free day!
  • It really doesn't matter (like everyone else has said), the one task I see being designated to the MOH, besides license-signing, is making a toast.  If there is a best man, he will make a toast I assume?  What I would do is let all of your bridesmaids know that they are welcome to make a toast if they would like to.  You may end up with four toasts---but I'm sure that would be special.

    Do whatever you want!!! =)
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  • I don't think I'd even mention toasts to anyone as that shouldn't be designated anyway. 
  • We are doing the same thing I'm having 3 bridesmaids no maid of honor...all wearing a black dress of their choosing. My FI is having three best men and they are wearing a black tux in the style they want to wear...we are not using any titles.. we didn't want to have to choose between our friends..
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