I haven't been on the Knot in quite a while--my wedding was last May. But I popped back on today... bored at work... you know how it goes.
Anyway, I saw the typical "Your bridesmaids do NOT have duties" post... and I started wondering...
Am I the only person in the world who thinks this is NOT true?!
I had bridesmaids who helped, and bridesmaids who didn't. It was fine. I didn't get mad, but I certainly appreciated the ones who did help. I understand why some couldn't--far away, no money, etc. But I'm standing up as a maid of honor in two of my friends' weddings later this year, and never would I think that "all I have to do is wear a dress, walk down the aisle, and smile," like what seems to be the common opinion on here. I plan to help plan both of their showers, bachelorette parties, and help with anything else I can.
I feel like that's a pretty crappy think to do to your friend--not care enough to help out or be involved when she's asked you to stand up in her wedding.
Just my own humble opinion though. Wondering if anyone else was with me.
Re: Am I the ONLY one...
But our point is that not wanting to help doesn't make someone a bad friend, and it certainly doesn't make them a bad bridesmaid. Maybe they're crazy busy, maybe they're disorganized, or maybe they just don't like weddings. Yes, a good bridesmaid will offer to help out, but a good bride will understand if they don't.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
[QUOTE]I totally buy that going to your BMs with a list of duties isn't going to help things run smoothly.
Posted by MollySm[/QUOTE]
The thing is, people frequently come here who do <em>exactly this</em>, and can't understand why it blows up in their faces. Hence why most girls here take the ultra laid back approach, because it's foolproof.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
[QUOTE]"I always find it a little strange that people react so strongly on here to the idea of bridesmaid duties myself. Esp as the knot has a whole section that lays out the duties of the MOH and bridesmaids. " Couldn't agree more. I took my roll of bridesmaid very seriously. The bride actually asked me to throw her the bridal shower and I wasn't upset, I was honored. For my cousin's wedding which I was a bridesmaid in I sent money for both the bridal shower and the bachelorette party even though I couldn't attend either. <strong>I agree that the brides shouldn't assume that bridesmaids will automatically help out or choose people based on who would throw the best party or kick out one who didn't, but to say they just need to get a dress is an insult to those bridesmaids who work hard on helping the bride out.</strong>
Posted by jms1019[/QUOTE]
<div>*Joins Brooke in headdesking. Then takes deep breath, and explains calmly*</div><div>
</div><div>WE TELL <strong>BRIDES </strong>THAT ALL BRIDESMAIDS NEED TO DO IS SHOW UP IN THE DRESS BECAUSE THAT IS <strong>ALL </strong>THE <strong>BRIDE</strong> SHOULD EXPECT. IF A <strong>BRIDESMAID </strong>WANTS TO DO MORE, THAN SHE CAN AND SHOULD. BUT THEN, IN THAT CASE THE BRIDE DIDN'T <strong>EXPECT</strong> ANYTHING AND WILL BE <strong>MORE </strong>EXCITED ABOUT ALL THE WONDERFUL FRIENDS SHE HAS. IF THE BRIDE THINKS SHE IS ENTITLED TO HELPERS, PEOPLE WILL WANT TO HELP LESS AND IT WILL MEAN LESS WHEN THEY <strong>DO </strong>HELP. GET THE PICTURE?</div>
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The point is that your friends should NEVER be asked by you to the things that are a gift to you like throwing a party.
If you do want help, it's fine to ask for it from anyone.
However there are only certain absolute requirements of the BM and those are the dress and being there on the big day.
If that's ALL the BM does and she isn't even a good friend then it's an "under 15 pieces of flair" situation.
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I think you need to see if from the same type of way that you see your husband/FI. Are you marrying him saying, "I expect you to do this."??
If you didn't want babies, would you take kindly to a statement like, "Your job is to have my children!"?
I think the same holds here on a much smaller scale.