BM already has what i plan for gift!

Crimsonfon

I started buying the necklaces from davids bridal that I am giving as gifts to my bm's. I was at one of the girls houses the other day and saw the exact same one that i feel in love with already hanging in her bathroom. I told her it was very pretty and apparently the bride in the  wedding my bm was in during early spring gave the same gift. I have most of the bought already and I love them!

Do i gift it to her again. My moh and mother suggested giving her something different and have her re-use the one she already recieved.

ideas?

[Deleted User]

Jewelry, accessories, or any other items that are to be worn or used for your wedding are not gifts. Gifts for your WP should have nothing to do with the wedding. Focus on her hobbies: does she like a local restaurant? Get her a giftcard. Is she stressed at work? Maybe a massage and mani-pedi. When my aunt got married she gave me a ribbon necklace with a pearl to wear for her wedding which I did, eight years ago. That necklace has never seen the light of day afterwards.

HobokensFury

Ditto PP. Wedding related items are not proper gifts for the wp.

misssunshine17

Jewelry that is supposed to be worn for the wedding isn't a gift. Shop for your BM's like it is their birthday. Think restaurant GC for the foodie, spa GC for the girly girl, DSW for the shoe lover, etc. Also, a heartfelt note goes a long way. Ditch the matchy matchy necklaces. 

Viczaesar

And this wasn't a wake up call that your idea of the necklaces in general isn't a good one?

Jen4948

I'm not seeing where the OP says that she intended for all her BMs to wear the necklaces at her wedding.

That said, I don't think all BM gifts need to be identical.  Just select a different gift for that particular BM.

freebread03

OP, why on earth would you give your BM something that you already know she has?  This makes zero sense at all, I'm sure you realize that.  Also, giving them something to wear for the wedding isn't really a gift--buy them something that has nothing to do with the wedding; it's a thank you to them for being there for you and spending the time/money to be a bridesmaid.  PPs gave great suggestions (ie shop like it's their birthday).

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-already-has-what-i-plan-for-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a1c14dde-71fd-47ec-93b4-e416a4f8e274Post:07c085a1-3d0d-4e2d-b00f-f5462f7b9c13">Re: BM already has what i plan for gift!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM already has what i plan for gift! : She did, second paragraph, " My moh and mother suggested giving her something different and have her re-use the one she already recieved."
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

No, that doesn't say that she plans for her bridesmaids to wear the necklaces-only that this particular bridesmaid already has the necklace in question.  "Re-use" doesn't necessarily mean "wear at wedding."  It could also mean "wear on other occasion."  It's not clear.

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-already-has-what-i-plan-for-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a1c14dde-71fd-47ec-93b4-e416a4f8e274Post:7548a88d-bb8a-4669-903b-c22ab738f452">Re: BM already has what i plan for gift!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM already has what i plan for gift! : No, that doesn't say that she plans for her bridesmaids to wear the necklaces-only that this particular bridesmaid already has the necklace in question.  "Re-use" doesn't necessarily mean "wear at wedding."  It could also mean "wear on other occasion."  It's not clear.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

<div>Hon, that's pretty clear. Why would she even say 're-use' if she didn't mean for the wedding?</div>

Peledreamsofrain

Giving someone an item that is entirely meant to please or benefit yourself is NOT giving them a gift. Every man in creation knows not to give their wife a mop for xmas, it's the same principal. To give this 'gift' when you know they already have a duplicate is the height of crass selfishness.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-already-has-what-i-plan-for-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a1c14dde-71fd-47ec-93b4-e416a4f8e274Post:abca7cae-b333-4c01-84cf-faf20c00fd69">Re: BM already has what i plan for gift!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM already has what i plan for gift! : Hon, that's pretty clear. Why would she even say 're-use' if she didn't mean for the wedding?
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

No, hon, it's not "pretty clear."  She could have meant anything with "re-use." 

In any case, I suggested above that she get that bridesmaid something else.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-already-has-what-i-plan-for-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a1c14dde-71fd-47ec-93b4-e416a4f8e274Post:22dcf815-5d8c-45ed-8637-a9b552d9e0af">Re: BM already has what i plan for gift!</a>:
[QUOTE]No, I agree with Aliie, Jen.  It's pretty clear what she meant by "reuse".
Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]
Agreed.

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-already-has-what-i-plan-for-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a1c14dde-71fd-47ec-93b4-e416a4f8e274Post:8dbddb1b-62b1-45b5-b3b8-13435b1c1e34">Re: BM already has what i plan for gift!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I didn't realize years ago that I violated this rule of etiquette. I bought all my bridesmaids beautiful jewelry to wear for the wedding. But<strong> I picked different sets for each person</strong> and they were all very wearable for the future at other events. One of my favorite necklaces I own is from when I was in a wedding about a decade ago.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

because of the bolded I don't really think you broke the rule, persay.  Yes, it sounds like you intended them to be worn that day which makes it a little bit for you, but you at least bought them each something different and presumably matched them to the girls' tastes individually rather than saying "this matches my BM dresses" and calling it a day.  Jewelry isn't a bad gift; as long as it's something the BM will like and wear. 

HTR10

I've been in four weddings and 3 of the 4 gave me jewelry that they wanted me to wear the day of the wedding.  The other bride was not as traditional and did not give a gift.  I was not offended by the lack of gift, or any gift. 

It is the thought that counts. Bridesmaids are supposed to be the people closest to you, I highly doubt they would be upset if that is what you bought them.  Not only that but all of the jewelry I was given matched the other bridesmaids and I actually HAVE worn them again...but I love to wear jewelry  

Additionally, I plan on doing the same for my bridesamids--no one will be upset

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-already-has-what-i-plan-for-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a1c14dde-71fd-47ec-93b4-e416a4f8e274Post:2774a003-5c4a-4d14-8da9-d526d01b6f0d">Re: BM already has what i plan for gift!</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been in four weddings and 3 of the 4 gave me jewelry that they wanted me to wear the day of the wedding.  The other bride was not as traditional and did not give a gift.  I was not offended by the lack of gift, or any gift.  It is the thought that counts. Bridesmaids are supposed to be the people closest to you, I highly doubt they would be upset if that is what you bought them.  Not only that but all of the jewelry I was given matched the other bridesmaids and I actually HAVE worn them again...but I love to wear jewelry :)  Additionally, I plan on doing the same for my bridesamids--no one will be upset :)
Posted by HTR10[/QUOTE]
If the thought is "These necklaces will look good in my pictures" and not "This is perfect for Amy, she loves that style of _____", then no, the thought is not what counts.

GardenMaven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-already-has-what-i-plan-for-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a1c14dde-71fd-47ec-93b4-e416a4f8e274Post:2774a003-5c4a-4d14-8da9-d526d01b6f0d">Re: BM already has what i plan for gift!</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been in four weddings and 3 of the 4 gave me jewelry that they wanted me to wear the day of the wedding.  The other bride was not as traditional and did not give a gift.  I was not offended by the lack of gift, or any gift.  It is the thought that counts. Bridesmaids are supposed to be the people closest to you, I highly doubt they would be upset if that is what you bought them.  Not only that but all of the jewelry I was given matched the other bridesmaids and I actually HAVE worn them again...but I love to wear jewelry :)  Additionally, I plan on doing the same for my bridesamids--no one will be upset :)
Posted by HTR10[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't wear jewelry.  The only thing I wear is my e-ring.  If as a BP member I was gifted jewelry I would wear it for one day and not be able to wear any earrings that were included.  I'd feel much better borrowing jewelry to wear.</div>