Help with a Bridesmaid

KNicole88

So I'm having 4 bridesmaids to match up with my fiance's 4 groomsman, but I now have a problem with one of my bridesmaids (who is also one of the groomsmans' girlfriend): she won't go get her dress! My MOH and 2 other bridesmaids have already gotten their dresses, whereas she hasn't even gone to get fitted! I'm thinking it's a money issue because she has brought up before how her workplace might get shut down and she'll be out of a job. The dress is $150 and I am more than willing to help her out, but how do I approach the subject without seeming rude? My wedding isn't until Decemeber, but I'm trying to get all the bigger stuff done and over with earlier, rather than to wait around. Help, please!

xoxob

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a5f2b4e2-6508-4a4d-97a5-5539cf56994ePost:5f3bbda0-b093-4ff0-8cc2-3fdb9b497210">Help with a Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>So I'm having 4 bridesmaids to match up with my fiance's 4 groomsman</strong>, but I now have a problem with one of my bridesmaids (who is also one of the groomsmans' girlfriend): she won't go get her dress! My MOH and 2 other bridesmaids have already gotten their dresses, whereas she hasn't even gone to get fitted! I'm thinking it's a money issue because she has brought up before how her workplace might get shut down and she'll be out of a job. The dress is $150 and I am more than willing to help her out, but how do I approach the subject without seeming rude? <strong>My wedding isn't until Decemeber</strong>, but I'm trying to get all the bigger stuff done and over with earlier, rather than to wait around. Help, please!
Posted by KNicole88[/QUOTE]

1. That wasn't necessary. Sides don't need to be even.

2. Leave her alone, then. There is no way she is going to miss the deadline to get the dress fitted. It's not your responsibility to make sure she has the dress on time, it's hers. If someone were stalking after me to get a dress for December, I would be irritated. Let her get it when she feels ready, you really have no reason to be stressed about this.

girl2bewed

Just tell her exactly that. Let her know that its important to you this be done soon, however if it is a money issue you have to be understanding, either pay for it yourself otherwise dont expect her to come up with the money out of thin air.

Since time really isn't an issue right now there isn't a big need to push her to do it so telling her you just want it done so you can cross if off your list probably wont give her any motivation. If you are going to pay for it yourself then just schedule a girls afternoon with her and take her there yourself.

gottahavashorti

Did she have any input in the price?  If money is a concern, put down the money at the bridal shop and just have her call in her measurements.

Find out when the last date is to order without a rush fee and the last date to order with a rush fee.  Tell her those dates and leave it up to her to order on time.  She probably has until June or August to order and allow time for alterations.

emilyinchile

You've gotten the bigger stuff done with - you asked your BM and agreed on a BM dress (although it sounds like you didn't ask your BMs' budgets). The actual buying of the dress isn't something that needs to be on your to-do list. Give your BM the last date she can buy the dress, and let her take care of it. If, as the date gets closer, you feel like she's being hesitant and would be able to cover part of the cost of her dress or lend her part of the money, you might try saying "hey, I'm sorry, I realize I never asked your budget and have just been assuming this price is ok. I know you're worried about your finances, so is there any way I can help?"