Out of State

lopezk

This may have been posted already so if it has, sorry in advance....
I'm in a wedding May 15th out of state. Since her bridal shower is in April I will not be able to attend but still want to get her a gift. I will be giving her cash on the day of the wedding as well since it is the right thing to do. Being that I have spent $275 on my plane ticket to fly down for her wedding, cost to rent a car (but not hotel since I will be staying with my mother), plus the dress, & shoes ...my question is: How much is too little to spend or how much is enough on the bridal shower gift?

bablingbrooke

Spend whatever you're comfortable spending.  I also think that you don't need to send a shower gift if you're giving her a wedding gift, since a shower gift is a wedding gift.  All my BMs were OOT, none could come to my shower and none sent shower gifts, which was fine by me b/c on top of the OOT bach party they threw for me and the gifts they gave at the wedding, plus the cost of traveling to the wedding and accommodations, I did not expect them to spend more money.  

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_out-of-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b8714173-6f68-4914-8ba3-4395316237ffPost:b28838af-30ec-449b-945d-622120a834e3">Re: Out of State</a>:
[QUOTE] I also think that you don't need to send a shower gift if you're giving her a wedding gift, since a shower gift is a wedding gift.   
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

This really depends on your circle.  In many places that is not true.

But I also don't know what this means:

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_out-of-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b8714173-6f68-4914-8ba3-4395316237ffPost:0cfc5535-b53c-4c98-b3e1-9dcfd75f4de5">Out of State</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be giving her cash on the day of the wedding as well since it is the right thing to do.
Posted by lopezk[/QUOTE]

You can give whatever you want to give and can afford as either a wedding or shower gift.  There is no "right thing to do."  For the shower, I would personally purchase something from the registry in the $30-50 range.

CTGirl30

My answer is: whatever you feel is appropriate for your budget. A gift should be recieved graciously no matter the monetary value. Being a BM can be expensive and hopefully the bride understands that you're spending plenty of money already to travel and on attire. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with.

bablingbrooke

quote, that may be true, but since this girl is already spending hundreds of dollars on the wedding, it would be a lot to tell her she has to spend more.  She also isn't under any obligation to send a shower gift if she can't attend.

CA2MT4EveR

I may be an awful friend, but I spend minimal amounts of money when I am in a wedding... on the flip side- 3/4 of the weddings I have been in, I was a broke ass college student. 

mbcdefg

Spend whatever you can afford or whatever you feel is appropriate.

But the best gifts aren't always the expensive ones. Some of my favorite shower gifts were frosty drink mugs that stay cold after you take them out of the freezer ($3 each), a water pitcher ($20), a funny doormat ($19) and some extra-absorbent dishrags ($8).

Or maybe she'd like something homemade that you can send - a thoughtful scrapbook, a photo album, a hand-knit throw or a quilt, a pretty bouquet of flowers, etc. Or maybe you can make a short video and e-mail the link/file to a shower hostess and have it played for her.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_out-of-state?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b8714173-6f68-4914-8ba3-4395316237ffPost:3699c4c2-e3fd-49c9-bcf3-fc56077f4d73">Re: Out of State</a>:
[QUOTE]quote, that may be true, but since this girl is already spending hundreds of dollars on the wedding, it would be a lot to tell her she has to spend more.  She also isn't under any obligation to send a shower gift if she can't attend.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

I know, I didn't say she was under any obligation.  I said that she wasn't, and then added what I personally would do.

lopezk

thank you ladies for all your suggestions! it definitely helps a lot :-)
the bride has been nothing but amazing during the planning and making sure i have been included on details. i'm so excited to be attending the wedding, but most excited to be apart of her special day. and the fact that she lives in the same town as my mother is a HUGE bonus as well since i will be able to visit my mom and brothers.