Can't Attend Wedding Rehearsal

mlee116

Hey ladies,

My friend is getting married in 2 weeks and I am a bridesmaid in her wedding.  My H and I recently moved 4 hrs away from our hometown, where my friend is getting married.  My H and I were planning to ride together to our hometown because the distance, to save gas, etc.  If we do this, then I will have to miss the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner because he does not get off of work in time for us to make it. 

My other choice is to drive down the day before the wedding and then he will drive down separately the next day.

I was planning on skipping it since I am only a BM and we live so far away, but I recently spoke to her mother and she said that the rehearsal "may be long since the wedding is outside and it may take awhile to get it all figured out and there is so much to do."  I started feeling guilty bc I may miss it...but then again, her mom is a control freak. 

What do you think?  Do I have an excuse to miss it, esp. since I am really only walking down the aisle?  Someone missed the rehearsal for my wedding and I really didn't think it was a big deal....

Thanks!

gottahavashorti

I don't think it's a big deal.  BIL missed ours to study, and 2 of 3 BMs almost missed it due to her work schedule but their shifts got switched. 

I do think that rehearsals have a purpose, but a couple people missing with the majority able to make it shouldn't mean that things run any less smoothly the day of the wedding.  Just let her know that you and your husband won't be able to travel into town soon enough to make it to the rehearsal.

stina93446

I think if you can't swing it and need to save the money, want to drive down with your husband, etc, you shouldn't feel guilty for it. It's 2 weeks before hand so you can try and cancel and they can try and cancel your meal. How hard is it to walk down the aisle and hold a bouquet? It's not. Don't let anyone guilt you saying that you MUST be there. True, you should be there, but if you can't get there for whatever reason you give, she should be understanding and let you come on the day of the wedding or late the night before....as long as you're there for the actual wedding, you're fulfilling your bm duty.

mysticl

It really depends on the wedding.  Sometimes the BMs do just walk down the aisle but others are much more complicated.  An outdoor wedding could be more complicated with people entering one way exiting another, etc.  I've been to weddings where the bridal party sits part of the time so they need to know when and where to sit, when to stand back up. 

[Deleted User]

Don't feel bad about missing it. Can someone videotape it for you so you can watch in the night before? Or I am sure someone will just fill you in. Is all you need to know is who you go after and if you are walking by yourself of with a GM. Its not that hard, so don't let her or her Mom stress you out over not being there.

trix1223

One of my DD's BMs and one of the GM couldn't make the rehearsal for her outdoor wedding.  They both managed to walk the straight line from the back to the front without incident.

Honestly, just tell the bride to make sure you're not the first one down the aisle, and it should be fine.  it's not rocket science.

bablingbrooke

Three of my BMs couldn't make the rehearsal and even though they were missed, it wasn't a big deal.  They all lived OOT and two were driving up the morning of the wedding; the other one's flight was delayed so she missed the rehearsal but was at the RD.  They figured out what to do (it wasn't hard) and there were no hard feelings.  You have some pretty compelling reasons.  If you can't go, you can't go.  It sounds like it would be more of a headache than it's worth to go.  It would be wrong for her to flip out and wrong of her mom to pressure you. 

aerinpegadrak

I think it's fine.  My older sister and I missed most of our younger sister's rehearsal because of traffic, but people just filled us in on the relevant info as necessary.