this is why I nixed the you choose your own dress idea. going to the salon we founf a dress that will give all the girls good cleavage from my A girls to my DD girls. Im putting in a sweetheart to show more of mine
I don't blame you for being upset with your friend. As was already stated, you only had two requests and your friend went against one of them. I think you have every right to say you would like your bridesmaid to alter the dress. It's not like you're making her go out and have a breast reduction. You didn't request anything crazy- don't let everyone on here make you feel bad.
I don't see what is so bad about asking people to wear modest clothing. I've been to weddings where the BMs were absolutely falling out of their dresses and it looked terrible. Some boobs are going to show-- they're there, it's what they do, but I don't think that is what OP was getting at. I wouldn't want my wedding to look like Baywatch either. Some people/families are more conservative than others, and I think that their feelings need to be respected, especially if the wedding is in a church.
No one's saying she can't ask for it. What everyone is saying is that if she insists on going ahead w/ the boobage, there's nothing OP can do about it.
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In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:46964792-beda-4fd7-aa6d-14e9537df4d8">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]I don't blame you for being upset with your friend. As was already stated, you only had two requests and your friend went against one of them. I think you have every right to say you would like your bridesmaid to alter the dress. It's not like you're making her go out and have a breast reduction. You didn't request anything crazy- don't let everyone on here make you feel bad. Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]
Yes, yes. We're so evil.
The bm is buying the dress. The bm eventually will get to do whatever she wants in the dress. OP trying to control it and giving everyone a mandate before they even BOUGHT dresses or discussed it probably got on someone's nerves. It was a really dumb thing to say, and I really doubt the BM is saying in all seriousness, but more of a way to teach the OP a lesson.
If someone asked you to be in a wedding and just automatically assumed that you wouldn't have the class to not keep the girls in place when getting your dress altered, you're going to tell me you wouldn't be the tiniest bit aggravated at her presumption? I would be. I would be really offended and would probably some cheap god-awful cleavage showing dress and pretend that's what I was wearing just to give the bride a scare for being so ridiculous and treating me like a pubescent teenager who doesn't know how to handle my tits.
Please, PLEASE come back and tell me you wouldn't be upset if someone made that assumption about you.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:6c2e80c8-c33e-4df5-9f3c-795ecdcd7e9c">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]I don't see what is so bad about asking people to wear modest clothing. I've been to weddings where the BMs were absolutely falling out of their dresses and it looked terrible. Some boobs are going to show-- they're there, it's what they do, but I don't think that is what OP was getting at. I wouldn't want my wedding to look like Baywatch either. Some people/families are more conservative than others, and I think that their feelings need to be respected, especially if the wedding is in a church. Posted by graysquirrel[/QUOTE]
Truth. But in the end, the girl's gonna do what she wants and you kicking her out or throwing a fit about it is only going to make you look ridiculous. Sometimes you have to smile and shake your head at the BM because that's what your guests are going to be doing. And it will have nothing to do with you. And if they're silly enough to think it's somehow your fault, then they're also wrong. Just because your family is conservative doesn't mean you get to dictate to your BMs about how they are just to please your family. It's none of your family's damn business, and you'll be much happier when you just say, "That's how they are, let's change the subject," then running around trying to be a people pleaser all the time.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:b2233bd9-abff-4563-bf47-cb70cd6c4dcc">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : You said that the OP was trying to give her bridesmaids a mandate before buying their dresses. She didn't do anything wrong- she gave her preferences before her bridesmaids bought their dresses. This sounds normal to me. Her bridesmaid went against her wishes. That last comment you made does not make you sound like a nice person, at least IMO. And if my friend had a dress request for HER WEDDING, I would respect her wishes and would not defy them out of spite. Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]
You obviously missed the part where it would be an object lesson? I am more than happy to go along with requests for color/cut/designer/fabric/etc. for a dress in someone's wedding. No problem. The minute you start telling me how to dress so that I won't embarrass myself, assuming that I don't know how to take care of my own cleavage, is insulting. And it's very legitimate for someone to be insulted by a comment like that. Instead of freaking out about how it's YOUR WEDDING, take a step back and maybe think "Hmmm, maybe that wasn't the best way to go about it."
You can "Hey ladies, the wedding is in a church and this particular church is kind of strict on conservative dress code, so keep that in mind when you're shopping." Saying "Be sure your boobs aren't falling out," which is basically what the OP said is treating grown women like, as I said before, pubescent teens who don't understand how to deal with it. Out of all the BMs, one is bound to be offended.
ETA: Might I add that the OP blatantly admitted that she was afraid people wouldn't be looking at her enough if the BMs boobs were falling out? It's not even like she's concerned about family pearl clutching or a conservative church. She's concerned about not getting enough attention at her damn wedding. Stop making her more noble than she is when she's already told us exactly why it bothers her. Her insecurities with herself and her ability to be attractive are her own problems and she need not bother her friends with her nonsense.
Yeah, people often (though not always) disagree with the OP. But not because you're presumed wrong on here. That's because many people who post questions on here are not respecting the people in their lives, and that leads to problems, which brings them here. Sometimes it's BMs being bad, but more often it's the bride being unreasonable and now the BMs are fighting back or disagreeing.
I always find it amusing that brides seem to turn into little dictators--one whiff of dissent and they fear the whole operation will fall apart, so they need absolute allegiance from everyone. It's like they assume their friends will pick THIS time in their lives to sabotage them--they see treachery everywhere. My experience is that more often than not, it's all in the bride's head.
Now of course everyone wants a perfect wedding, but there's a difference between a wedding that LOOKS perfect (which many posters here focus on) and a wedding that IS perfect because everyone had fun (which not enough posters realize). Our wedding was the latter and we STILL get compliments on it nearly 18 months later. I never ran into a single disagreement w/ my BMs and didn't try to control everything. I would do it all over again. Getting fixated on little details to the point you get wound up in a tizzy is no way to live, and not the way wedding planning is supposed to be, so this board functions to talk people down to reality. People often don't tell brides IRL that they have bad ideas, so this is a source of honesty.
Additionally, sometimes posters really portray something happening one way then get mad when that's how it's interpreted. I'm not a mind-reader and neither is anyone on this board, so if people fail to be clear that's not much I can do about that.
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I want to know from OP what size this girl's breasts are. If she's an A or B, there is nothing wrong with adding a little push-up to make herself feel pretty. She will not be showing unreasonable cleavage in that instance.
(I went from an A to a D in three years, so I can sympathize with almost any sized woman.)
As a lover of push-up bras, it's more about...shaping than anything else. Also, was she maybe asking about...ahem...nipple coverage? Can she wear a bra with this dress? If not, adding cups is very reasonable as I'm sure OP wouldn't want any nipples showing! (That would certainly draw attention away from the bride. lol) Also, support much? Going braless can feel very awkward and cups in the dress can help with that.
Just an idea about why she'd ask for cups. and talking about nipple coverage can be awkward so she may have defaulted to wanting good cleavage.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:1712c0f4-9997-4e4e-94a1-d3b0128a2cc3">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : You obviously missed the part where it would be an object lesson? I am more than happy to go along with requests for color/cut/designer/fabric/etc. for a dress in someone's wedding. No problem. The minute you start telling me how to dress so that I won't embarrass myself, assuming that I don't know how to take care of my own cleavage, is insulting. And it's very legitimate for someone to be insulted by a comment like that. Instead of freaking out about how it's YOUR WEDDING, take a step back and maybe think "Hmmm, maybe that wasn't the best way to go about it." <strong>You can "Hey ladies, the wedding is in a church and this particular church is kind of strict on conservative dress code, so keep that in mind when you're shopping." Saying "Be sure your boobs aren't falling out," which is basically what the OP said is treating grown women like, as I said before, pubescent teens who don't understand how to deal with it. Out of all the BMs, one is bound to be offended. </strong>ETA: Might I add that the OP blatantly admitted that she was afraid people wouldn't be looking at her enough if the BMs boobs were falling out? It's not even like she's concerned about family pearl clutching or a conservative church. She's concerned about not getting enough attention at her damn wedding. Stop making her more noble than she is when she's already told us exactly why it bothers her. Her insecurities with herself and her ability to be attractive are her own problems and she need not bother her friends with her nonsense. Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE] This is pretty much exactly what I was going to say. There's a way to make the request without being crass and rude. Besides, if the only stipulation is "no cleavage," there's nothing stopping a girl from getting a boatneck dress that's cut up to her crotch. So not only is the way the request was worded insulting, it's also not particularly effective if the goal is general modesty.
And I think it is part of a friend's job description to tell you when you're being ridiculous, regardless of current or impending marital status.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
I'm trusting that my bm's want to look good due to their own self-interest. They dress themselves properly for every other occassion in their lives, why would my wedding be any different? I don't understand brides who don't trust their friends to do this.
Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11 "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
I guess I don't totally get all the sensitivity about girlfriends talking about issues with boobs together, partially, I'm sure, because I'm projecting my own experience (half my BM's and one groomswomen are notoriously busty girls. We all joke about it frequently. When it came to BM dress shopping, I wasn't the first one to mention the cleavage issue, they were, and we all joked about it throughout, and specific plans were made to alter the dresses to be more modest.). So while some see the way this request could be made in a really offensive way, I see how this request could also just be part of how the OP and her friends have a history of talking about the issue.
Now, I can't know that one way or another. But yeah, if one of my friends specifically asked me to pick for a non cleavagey dress for her wedding, I would not feel like I was being treated like a "pubescent teenager" or in any other way patronized. Every relationship is different, and maybe the OP's friend is reacting out of anger because she's was insulted by the request, but that's just a guess. Maybe she honestly didn't hear the request. Maybe she has an idea about being a "sexy bridesmaid" because movies tell you that BM's get laid at weddings. Who knows.
Me and my friend were in a wedding this last summer and the bride picked out the dresses without bringing her BM she just brought the MOH which is fine but when we went to try the dresses on and have them ordered they were a very plunging neckline. We were very uncomfortable in them do to having large breasts as other in the wedding party have very small breast so it worked for them and the MOH that orginally went. We immediatley called her and she proceeded to have us order them anyway. We did warn her of our concerns and it didnt seem to matter to her. When we got the dressing we tried them on for her and she told us "you can not look like that at my wedding" We did not know what to do, after having them fitted it didnt even turn out to be that bad but we did end up literally duck taping our boobs to the side a bit to reduce the cleavege look. If you do choose to say something about it I would watch how you say it becuase i know we tried and she clearly didnt listen to us and then got mad at us for looking that way. All in all it ended up working just fine and we all looked presentable not flashy
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:b0b7fbc2-cffc-4737-a915-0b41ecb91425">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]I guess I don't totally get all the sensitivity about girlfriends talking about issues with boobs together, partially, I'm sure, because I'm projecting my own experience (half my BM's and one groomswomen are notoriously busty girls. We all joke about it frequently. When it came to BM dress shopping, I wasn't the first one to mention the cleavage issue, they were, and we all joked about it throughout, and specific plans were made to alter the dresses to be more modest.). So while some see the way this request could be made in a really offensive way, I see how this request could also just be part of how the OP and her friends have a history of talking about the issue. Now, I can't know that one way or another. But yeah, if one of my friends specifically asked me to pick for a non cleavagey dress for her wedding, I would not feel like I was being treated like a "pubescent teenager" or in any other way patronized. Every relationship is different, and maybe the OP's friend is reacting out of anger because she's was insulted by the request, but that's just a guess. Maybe she honestly didn't hear the request. Maybe she has an idea about being a "sexy bridesmaid" because movies tell you that BM's get laid at weddings. Who knows. Posted by filaw[/QUOTE]
But that's also how YOU and YOUR friends feel about it. If my friend said something like that to me, I'd regard it as a "you're normally trashy anyway, so please clean it up for my wedding". It's just good to be careful how you word things or you can really risk hurting someone's feelings and/or angering them enough to want to spite you.
Filaw, your comment about movies showing bridesmaids getting laid was too funny!
Brooke, I can tell you're a very sweet person. It's nice to be able to disagree and not get into an argument. Who knew that boobs could cause such controversy.
I'm happy to agree to disagree without getting into an argument--I prefer it that way! Who wouldn't? I appreciate you doing so in a reasonable way. I don't appreciate posters who come out of nowhere and say, "You're all angry old biitches and you don't know anything who elected you queen of the boards I feel sorry for your FIs the bride can do whatever she wants because it's HER DAY and you all need to shut up." I mean what kind of response can you realistically expect after you post something like that?
Courtesy of megk8oz
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
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In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:1f4a929b-752c-43ce-a93f-dad343984817">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]Filaw, your comment about movies showing bridesmaids getting laid was too funny! Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div>DH's best man was obsessed with the idea that weddings were where the best man goes home with some hot bridesmaid. However, all our bridesmaids were involved. So then he figured that he was going home with some hot, young and single guest. Thing is, we didn't have any single guests that he didn't already know. But nothing would stop his idea that he was getting laid that night. Why did he think all of this? Movies. Did he end up going home with anyone? Nope.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:41fc22a0-826c-468a-a371-59889a590c21">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : DH's best man was obsessed with the idea that weddings were where the best man goes home with some hot bridesmaid. However, all our bridesmaids were involved. So then he figured that he was going home with some hot, young and single guest. Thing is, we didn't have any single guests that he didn't already know. But nothing would stop his idea that he was getting laid that night. Why did he think all of this? Movies. Did he end up going home with anyone? Nope. Posted by filaw[/QUOTE] All of my bridesmaids were already MARRIED. The one single groomsman was rather put out when he heard that. That was before we'd asked the groomswoman, with whom the GM had a fair amount of UST, but they were both involved with other people by the time the wedding rolled around.
I think it was in another thread where we discussed how wedding movies have screwed up people's expectations so badly.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-cleavage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b78072-9770-4c1d-94fc-e8113019c380Post:8592d89b-6307-45d9-a564-b36a34e0f33f">Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : All of my bridesmaids were already MARRIED. The one single groomsman was rather put out when he heard that. That was before we'd asked the groomswoman, with whom the GM had a fair amount of UST, but they were both involved with other people by the time the wedding rolled around. <strong>I think it was in another thread where we discussed how wedding movies have screwed up people's expectations so badly.</strong> Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE] If I remember correctly we agreed "Father of the Bride" wins because Steve Martin is the bad guy for NOT wanting to blow his 401k on his daughter's wedding.
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Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
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[QUOTE]I don't blame you for being upset with your friend. As was already stated, you only had two requests and your friend went against one of them. I think you have every right to say you would like your bridesmaid to alter the dress. It's not like you're making her go out and have a breast reduction. You didn't request anything crazy- don't let everyone on here make you feel bad.
Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]
Yes, yes. We're so evil.
The bm is buying the dress. The bm eventually will get to do whatever she wants in the dress. OP trying to control it and giving everyone a mandate before they even BOUGHT dresses or discussed it probably got on someone's nerves. It was a really dumb thing to say, and I really doubt the BM is saying in all seriousness, but more of a way to teach the OP a lesson.
If someone asked you to be in a wedding and just automatically assumed that you wouldn't have the class to not keep the girls in place when getting your dress altered, you're going to tell me you wouldn't be the tiniest bit aggravated at her presumption? I would be. I would be really offended and would probably some cheap god-awful cleavage showing dress and pretend that's what I was wearing just to give the bride a scare for being so ridiculous and treating me like a pubescent teenager who doesn't know how to handle my tits.
Please, PLEASE come back and tell me you wouldn't be upset if someone made that assumption about you.
Hawaii with my best friend
[QUOTE]I don't see what is so bad about asking people to wear modest clothing. I've been to weddings where the BMs were absolutely falling out of their dresses and it looked terrible. Some boobs are going to show-- they're there, it's what they do, but I don't think that is what OP was getting at. I wouldn't want my wedding to look like Baywatch either. Some people/families are more conservative than others, and I think that their feelings need to be respected, especially if the wedding is in a church.
Posted by graysquirrel[/QUOTE]
Truth. But in the end, the girl's gonna do what she wants and you kicking her out or throwing a fit about it is only going to make you look ridiculous. Sometimes you have to smile and shake your head at the BM because that's what your guests are going to be doing. And it will have nothing to do with you. And if they're silly enough to think it's somehow your fault, then they're also wrong. Just because your family is conservative doesn't mean you get to dictate to your BMs about how they are just to please your family. It's none of your family's damn business, and you'll be much happier when you just say, "That's how they are, let's change the subject," then running around trying to be a people pleaser all the time.
Hawaii with my best friend
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : You said that the OP was trying to give her bridesmaids a mandate before buying their dresses. She didn't do anything wrong- she gave her preferences before her bridesmaids bought their dresses. This sounds normal to me. Her bridesmaid went against her wishes. That last comment you made does not make you sound like a nice person, at least IMO. And if my friend had a dress request for HER WEDDING, I would respect her wishes and would not defy them out of spite.
Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]
You obviously missed the part where it would be an object lesson? I am more than happy to go along with requests for color/cut/designer/fabric/etc. for a dress in someone's wedding. No problem. The minute you start telling me how to dress so that I won't embarrass myself, assuming that I don't know how to take care of my own cleavage, is insulting. And it's very legitimate for someone to be insulted by a comment like that. Instead of freaking out about how it's YOUR WEDDING, take a step back and maybe think "Hmmm, maybe that wasn't the best way to go about it."
You can "Hey ladies, the wedding is in a church and this particular church is kind of strict on conservative dress code, so keep that in mind when you're shopping." Saying "Be sure your boobs aren't falling out," which is basically what the OP said is treating grown women like, as I said before, pubescent teens who don't understand how to deal with it. Out of all the BMs, one is bound to be offended.
ETA: Might I add that the OP blatantly admitted that she was afraid people wouldn't be looking at her enough if the BMs boobs were falling out? It's not even like she's concerned about family pearl clutching or a conservative church. She's concerned about not getting enough attention at her damn wedding. Stop making her more noble than she is when she's already told us exactly why it bothers her. Her insecurities with herself and her ability to be attractive are her own problems and she need not bother her friends with her nonsense.
Hawaii with my best friend
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : You obviously missed the part where it would be an object lesson? I am more than happy to go along with requests for color/cut/designer/fabric/etc. for a dress in someone's wedding. No problem. The minute you start telling me how to dress so that I won't embarrass myself, assuming that I don't know how to take care of my own cleavage, is insulting. And it's very legitimate for someone to be insulted by a comment like that. Instead of freaking out about how it's YOUR WEDDING, take a step back and maybe think "Hmmm, maybe that wasn't the best way to go about it." <strong>You can "Hey ladies, the wedding is in a church and this particular church is kind of strict on conservative dress code, so keep that in mind when you're shopping." Saying "Be sure your boobs aren't falling out," which is basically what the OP said is treating grown women like, as I said before, pubescent teens who don't understand how to deal with it. Out of all the BMs, one is bound to be offended. </strong>ETA: Might I add that the OP blatantly admitted that she was afraid people wouldn't be looking at her enough if the BMs boobs were falling out? It's not even like she's concerned about family pearl clutching or a conservative church. She's concerned about not getting enough attention at her damn wedding. Stop making her more noble than she is when she's already told us exactly why it bothers her. Her insecurities with herself and her ability to be attractive are her own problems and she need not bother her friends with her nonsense.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]
This is pretty much exactly what I was going to say. There's a way to make the request without being crass and rude. Besides, if the only stipulation is "no cleavage," there's nothing stopping a girl from getting a boatneck dress that's cut up to her crotch. So not only is the way the request was worded insulting, it's also not particularly effective if the goal is general modesty.
And I think it is part of a friend's job description to tell you when you're being ridiculous, regardless of current or impending marital status.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
Me and my friend were in a wedding this last summer and the bride picked out the dresses without bringing her BM she just brought the MOH which is fine but when we went to try the dresses on and have them ordered they were a very plunging neckline. We were very uncomfortable in them do to having large breasts as other in the wedding party have very small breast so it worked for them and the MOH that orginally went. We immediatley called her and she proceeded to have us order them anyway. We did warn her of our concerns and it didnt seem to matter to her. When we got the dressing we tried them on for her and she told us "you can not look like that at my wedding" We did not know what to do, after having them fitted it didnt even turn out to be that bad but we did end up literally duck taping our boobs to the side a bit to reduce the cleavege look. If you do choose to say something about it I would watch how you say it becuase i know we tried and she clearly didnt listen to us and then got mad at us for looking that way. All in all it ended up working just fine and we all looked presentable not flashy
[QUOTE]I guess I don't totally get all the sensitivity about girlfriends talking about issues with boobs together, partially, I'm sure, because I'm projecting my own experience (half my BM's and one groomswomen are notoriously busty girls. We all joke about it frequently. When it came to BM dress shopping, I wasn't the first one to mention the cleavage issue, they were, and we all joked about it throughout, and specific plans were made to alter the dresses to be more modest.). So while some see the way this request could be made in a really offensive way, I see how this request could also just be part of how the OP and her friends have a history of talking about the issue. Now, I can't know that one way or another. But yeah, if one of my friends specifically asked me to pick for a non cleavagey dress for her wedding, I would not feel like I was being treated like a "pubescent teenager" or in any other way patronized. Every relationship is different, and maybe the OP's friend is reacting out of anger because she's was insulted by the request, but that's just a guess. Maybe she honestly didn't hear the request. Maybe she has an idea about being a "sexy bridesmaid" because movies tell you that BM's get laid at weddings. Who knows.
Posted by filaw[/QUOTE]
But that's also how YOU and YOUR friends feel about it. If my friend said something like that to me, I'd regard it as a "you're normally trashy anyway, so please clean it up for my wedding". It's just good to be careful how you word things or you can really risk hurting someone's feelings and/or angering them enough to want to spite you.
Hawaii with my best friend
Brooke, I can tell you're a very sweet person. It's nice to be able to disagree and not get into an argument.
Who knew that boobs could cause such controversy.
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
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[QUOTE]Filaw, your comment about movies showing bridesmaids getting laid was too funny!
Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>DH's best man was obsessed with the idea that weddings were where the best man goes home with some hot bridesmaid. However, all our bridesmaids were involved. So then he figured that he was going home with some hot, young and single guest. Thing is, we didn't have any single guests that he didn't already know. But nothing would stop his idea that he was getting laid that night. Why did he think all of this? Movies. Did he end up going home with anyone? Nope.
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : DH's best man was obsessed with the idea that weddings were where the best man goes home with some hot bridesmaid. However, all our bridesmaids were involved. So then he figured that he was going home with some hot, young and single guest. Thing is, we didn't have any single guests that he didn't already know. But nothing would stop his idea that he was getting laid that night. Why did he think all of this? Movies. Did he end up going home with anyone? Nope.
Posted by filaw[/QUOTE]
All of my bridesmaids were already MARRIED. The one single groomsman was rather put out when he heard that. That was before we'd asked the groomswoman, with whom the GM had a fair amount of UST, but they were both involved with other people by the time the wedding rolled around.
I think it was in another thread where we discussed how wedding movies have screwed up people's expectations so badly.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids and Cleavage : All of my bridesmaids were already MARRIED. The one single groomsman was rather put out when he heard that. That was before we'd asked the groomswoman, with whom the GM had a fair amount of UST, but they were both involved with other people by the time the wedding rolled around. <strong>I think it was in another thread where we discussed how wedding movies have screwed up people's expectations so badly.</strong>
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]
If I remember correctly we agreed "Father of the Bride" wins because Steve Martin is the bad guy for NOT wanting to blow his 401k on his daughter's wedding.
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.
A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.