adding another bridesmaid?

monkey0808

Ok, I have a dilemma and need some advice!

Originally, my FI said he only wanted to have five attendants each.  He thought seven was too big, but we couldn't do six because he'd be choosing between two really good friends for that last spot, so he just made them ushers and we stayed with five.  But now, one of those two friends can't attend the wedding, so potentially he could add the other to the groomsmen list to make it six.

I reallly wanted the FI of our best man to be a bridesmaid, but my other bridesmaids (besides my sister) were kinda in pairs (from the same groups of friends, if i ask one, would be awkward not to ask the other), so I asked her to be in the house party instead. 

So the question is, now that the number of groomsmen works, is there any way to ask this girl to be a bridesmaid without making her feel like she's "second string".  That really wasn't the situation AT ALL, it was just how it worked out, and she is a dear friend who I really don't want to hurt. 

Any advice on how to approach this?  Or should I just leave it the way it is?

Girlie1030

What's a house party?

Is she aware that the rest of your bridal party has been chosen already?  If so, I think she'll feel like an after thought or 2nd string. 

monkey0808

first, sorry i realized i left out part of the explanation, i edited my post to make it a little more clear.

i'm realizing through all this planning that house parties are very southern, but i always forget that people don't know what they are, pretty much every wedding i've ever been to has had one!!  they're kinda like the bride's equivalent to ushers...involved in the wedding, but not in the actually bridal party.  they do little jobs for the ceremony or reception, get corsages, and are put in the program just like ushers are.

yes, she knows that the others had been chosen, but we just found out about FI's friend who couldn't come, so the circumstances changed.  I just didn't know if there was a way to explain it where she understands that it really wasn't a matter of her not being as important

zitiqueen

Leave it the way it is. Uneven bridal parties are just fine. You'll still be married at the end of the day, I promise.

Girlie1030

Monkey, there's really not a way to do it.  If you ask her now, while even if it's not what you mean, it's going to sound like she wasn't good enough to make the first cut.  I'd just leave things as is. 

sonya+adam

Uneven sides are perfectly fine. I wouldn't ask her now that you have already chosen the other members of the party. Regardless of whether she is "second string" or not, that's what it is going to seem like to her. It's best to just keep things the way they are. GL and HTH.

lbaydal

I wanted to ask my fiance's brother's girlfriend to be one of my bridesmaids, but at the time they were on a break.  The have gotten back together since and are now soon to be engaged.  I kept hinting to my brother in law to be that I really wanted her as a bridesmaid.  Earlier this month my MOH dropped out of the wedding.  Then I felt like I really couldn/t ask her.  Eventually, having my MOH drop out made me realize who my true friends were adn who I wanted to stand up with me that day.  I asked her she said yes and I made sure to let her know she wasnt a replacement.  Our bridal party is uneven any way so she knows she isnt just a spot filler.  I say go for it.

monkey0808

Thanks for the advice ladies!

I'm sorry if some of you don't like house parties.  I've seen them at pretty much every wedding I've ever been to, and have never known anyone who found them offensive.  I consider it a way to include more people who are special to me.  Just as the ushers have the "job" of escorting guests before the wedding, the house party might have the "job" of passing out programs.  I don't intend on making them work during the entire ceremony and reception.   Just something small to include them.  But I understand that other people have different opinions about this.

Pamela515

I'd explain the situation to her, explain you didn't want uneven parties and that you and your FI were talking  and decided you both would like to have 6 now. I'm sure she wouldn't feel like 2nd string since she was already asked to be apart of the wedding anyways. If you have an extra GM it might make her feel even worse about not being asked to be in it when you obviously could of had a spot for her. Hope it works out for you!