Wedding Party

Wow...

A girl on M&M is a BM asking about how to help plan a wedding since she's only 18 and the bride is only 17 so they don't know what they're doing.

What kind of parents let a 17 year old kid get married?  What kind of 17 year old wants to be married (as opposed to just wanting to plan a wedding)?  
Courtesy of megk8oz
image
"I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
«1

Re: Wow...

  • I saw that, I wasn't sure what to say  I think you're dead on: she wants to be a bride, she hasn't really thought through the "wife" bit yet.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • This reminds me of a post I saw recently.  The bride is very young (teen young) and her fiance has children.  My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I read it. 

    When I was that age, I was trying to figure out how to sneak into bars or chasing after some guy I found "totally cute!!"  Marriage?  Please!
  • I mean being a wife isn't bad at all, but I wouldn't have wanted to be one at 17.  

    There's just so damn much you don't know about life or yourself at 17, so how can you possibly know that your prom date is the guy you want to spend your life with before you've had any independent life experience? 
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • As someone who works with teenagers, they don't really have the ability to think about future consequences. The idea of a big fancy partywhere they are the center of attention is very appealing. They don't understand the concept of their changing personalities or the fact that they aren't adults. Which is part of the reason why we have an age of consent- theoretically there should be a parent around to say "No daughter, you are not ready to get married and I won't allow you to get married." Where are the parents in this mess?
    Anniversary image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f67394aa-304c-42cf-9fee-6cfed6b48f1bPost:5c2a5b90-3da8-407e-9451-70b6140309e2">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]As someone who works with teenagers, they don't really have the ability to think about future consequences. <strong>The idea of a big fancy partywhere they are the center of attention is very appealing. </strong>They don't understand the concept of their changing personalities or the fact that they aren't adults. Which is part of the reason why we have an age of consent- theoretically there should be a parent around to say "No daughter, you are not ready to get married and I won't allow you to get married." Where are the parents in this mess?
    Posted by MrsMLRB[/QUOTE]
    I totally agree and wonder the same thing.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Please let it MUD......please let it be MUD......please, oh please.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Yeah, I'd like to know what the parents have to say about this.
    image
  • My guess  if this isn't MUD, she's knocked up and had ultraconservative parents.  At that age my dad made me promise I wouldn't marry the guy if I were to get pregnant.  His reasoning was that marriage is hard enough at first without throwing the kid into the mix - wait.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • The only reason I don't suspect this is a shotgun wedding is that she's doing the full wedding and the BM is wondering how to buy presents and plan parties.  If this was a shotgun wedding for a couple of teenagers, I don't see a lot of that happening.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • It all seems rather contrived.  Is there seriously another AE/Troll coming on board with fantastic stories?  I absolutely can NOT imagine being ready to be a wife at the age of 17.  I guess the OP is a senior in HS ( 11class user name = class of 2011?).  Regardless, I sure hope this isn't another case of someone adding to the divorce rate just because they took marriage too lightly.  It's serious ... I doubt a high school student could understand the sincerity required to enter marriage. 
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
    image
  • OP came back.  

    Nope, not expecting.  

    Yes, still in high school.  

    No, no one thinks this is a good idea.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • I don't understand the need to rush.  Why not just enjoy being a carefree teenager?  She'll never get that back.
    Planning Our Wedding - Updated 04/11/11
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
    "If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f67394aa-304c-42cf-9fee-6cfed6b48f1bPost:8909efbb-c10f-4ea2-882d-7d08ad2fe369">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't understand the need to rush.  Why not just enjoy being a carefree teenager?  She'll never get that back.
    Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]
    You know the old saying, "Youth is wasted on the young."  I know I didn't fully appreciate how awesome it was to be a carefree teenager until I wasn't one anymore.  I at least had the sense to not get married.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • And the really heartbreaking thing is that the baby bride won't know until it's too late what she missed out on.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited November 2010
    4 kids by 26?  Holy crap.  I'd probably have an early midlife crisis too.

    I can't imagine wanting to settle down so young.  I can't even conceive of it.  I look back at the last 9 years and think on everything I would have missed out on and can't see how married at 17 is remotely appealing.

    Two quotes really shaped how I have approached life and I'm so glad that I listened: My mom told me,  "Always make the decisions that give you the most choices in life."  I also had a teacher in HS who said (quoting a poem), "What are you going to do with your one, wild, and wonderful life?" and that really has stuck with me--you only live once, so don't do anything that you will later regret (as much as that is possible, of course).
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • One of my high school teachers (going through a divorce at the time) told us to go to college, travel, go overseas and only then think about getting married.  She said it would make each of us a more intereting person and in turn, this would attract more interesting men.  Sadly, out of a class of 151, only two of us took her advice.  The other is a reporter in Budapest.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f67394aa-304c-42cf-9fee-6cfed6b48f1bPost:6b3775bd-b8ef-4372-b7a4-26451d7d68e5">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]One of my high school teachers (going through a divorce at the time) told us to <strong>go to college, travel, go overseas and only then think about getting married</strong>.  She said it would make each of us a more intereting person and in turn, this would attract more interesting men.  Sadly, out of a class of 151, only two of us took her advice.  The other is a reporter in Budapest.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]
    So glad I did all of that.  I didn't know I was a traveler until I started doing it.  I wound up meeting a man from a foreign country who also loves to travel, and I can't imagine being married to anyone else :)  As we speak, tonight we're researching and debating whether we want to do a trip along the Trans-Siberian Railroad, a tour through Northern India and Nepal, or Scandinavia after the bar exam.  Boy am I glad I met DH after I'd lived abroad.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • brooke, my mom always said the *exact* same thing about maximizing your choices! I thought that post was just depressing. I can't imagine who I'd be if I'd married my HS boyfriend. He's a sweet guy and all, but we wouldn't have been happy together. 

    My best friend went to school in her hometown, married her HS boyfriend when she was 20, and now feels trapped in the same town. She wants to try something different for a change, but that's nearly impossible to do in her situation. 

    I wish someone would shake that girl. And the OP claims that the couple's parents are thrilled....WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f67394aa-304c-42cf-9fee-6cfed6b48f1bPost:fe8b15cc-2505-49dc-a53a-e837582846fb">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]brooke, my mom always said the *exact* same thing about maximizing your choices! I thought that post was just depressing. I can't imagine who I'd be if I'd married my HS boyfriend. He's a sweet guy and all, but we wouldn't have been happy together.  My best friend went to school in her hometown, married her HS boyfriend when she was 20, and now feels trapped in the same town. She wants to try something different for a change, but that's nearly impossible to do in her situation.  I wish someone would shake that girl. And the OP claims that the couple's parents are thrilled....WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE
    Posted by GeauxTigers17[/QUOTE]
    Isn't that great advice?  I am SO telling that to my kids...when I have them in 5 years :)
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • Definitely is. My mom got married 2 days before she turned 22 and she was just shy of 24 when I was born (and I was definitely not part of the plan) and while I know my mom loves my dad, I think it drove her crazy that they made things so hard on themselves. They were broke with a new baby - for her, that advice comes from wishing she'd waited herself.

    I think it was just really important to her that her three girls never feel like they needed anyone but themselves for financial support. It made a huge impression on me as a kid.

    This girl is setting herself up to make things so much harder than they need to be. Relationships require work, no matter how great they are...why pile unnecessary crap on top? 

    <Climbs off soapbox>
    image
  • Yeah I read that thread too.....Seriously I'd love to have a talk with that girl's parents.  My mom got married at 21 and she insists to this day that she was way too young.  (My parents got divorced after 6 years of marriage).  I don't remember even thinking about marriage at that age.  I was more along the lines of what am I going to do about getting a good career?  What will I study in college? What places do I want to visit?  Well I finished school, just got a promotion at work and I travelled somewhat, all this before getting engaged.  Never would have been able to do that at 17.  I can't even imagine marrying the guy I was with at 17.  It just makes me shudder....
    AnniversaryBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f67394aa-304c-42cf-9fee-6cfed6b48f1bPost:f4a2eeb6-358a-40ac-9674-28f35ce9da71">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wow... : So glad I did all of that.  I didn't know I was a traveler until I started doing it.  I wound up meeting a man from a foreign country who also loves to travel, and I can't imagine being married to anyone else :)  As we speak, tonight we're researching and debating whether we want to do a trip along the Trans-Siberian Railroad, a tour through Northern India and Nepal, or Scandinavia after the bar exam.  Boy am I glad I met DH after I'd lived abroad.
    Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

    Same here.  While almost all the girls I went to high school with married a guy from our "brother" school, had kids almost immediately, gave up their careers and never left town, I'm now living on the east coast and can take trains to DC, Baltimore, NYC and Boston for day trips, married a second generation Greek from the west coast, can't wait to start practicing law again (when the hell are the jobs coming back :( ) and DH and I have a rule about not going to the same place twice when we travel unless we honestly feel like we didn't get the full experience the first time.

    EDIT:  I'll also add that friends are quite jealous when they hear the DH made a homemade cake because I was craving chocolate, in the winter, makes gourmet hot chocolate for me, like trying out new recipes as much as I do, does his own laundry, splits cleaning duties, remodeled my bathroom first, treats me like a queen and generally spoils me rotten.  These are not the actions of a high school boyfriend, they are of a man who has been on his own.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • On the off chance it is real, I'm willing to bet it just won't happen. Sure, getting married with the big party sounds like a great idea at 17. Until you start looking at prices... and living costs... and all the things you're going to miss out on.

    A good friend of mine got engaged about a year ago at 18. They *were* going to get married in May, with the groom at 19. Then they realized they literally couldn't afford to pay anything more than the deposits. I think my friend is starting to realize now just what she's giving up by getting engaged and married so young- while the rest of us are planning trips and travelling they can't even go to the movies for a date because they're saving.

    I just find it sad that the BM friend in that post won't even talk to the bride about it. I can't imagine that. When my friend told me about her impending engagement, I told her flat out that I thought it was a poor idea. She's still my friend and I love her, but I couldn't stand back and watch without speaking up when she asked.


  • After reading that thread, I only wonder one thing...which school are these kids graduating from, so that I can personally go there and smack them? My sister is a senior in high school, and if I ever found out she was planning to get married, I would be smacking her AND her mother! I know she's in a relationship, but I think her mom would kick her @ss if she decided to get married at 17, or even 18!

    FWIW, I tried to PM the girl, and couldn't...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f67394aa-304c-42cf-9fee-6cfed6b48f1bPost:911970af-bf95-4160-86e1-89835484aa31">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]EDIT:  I'll also add that friends are quite jealous when they hear the DH made a homemade cake because I was craving chocolate, in the winter, makes gourmet hot chocolate for me, like trying out new recipes as much as I do, does his own laundry, splits cleaning duties, remodeled my bathroom first, treats me like a queen and generally spoils me rotten.  These are not the actions of a high school boyfriend, they are of a man who has been on his own.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]
    A-freaking-men.  I'm glad DH played the field a bit before he met me.  It makes him appreciate that I'm low maintenance and not totally psycho (he dated some real winners), and he really knows how to treat a lady.  And we regularly make our friends jealous with our culinary exploits.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f67394aa-304c-42cf-9fee-6cfed6b48f1bPost:911970af-bf95-4160-86e1-89835484aa31">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wow... :  I'll also add that friends are quite jealous when they hear the DH made a homemade cake because I was craving chocolate, in the winter, makes gourmet hot chocolate for me, like trying out new recipes as much as I do, does his own laundry, splits cleaning duties, remodeled my bathroom first, treats me like a queen and generally spoils me rotten.  <strong>These are not the actions of a high school boyfriend, they are of a man who has been on his own.
    </strong>Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I want a "like" button for this, too. DH and I both are very glad that we had our share of heartbreak before we found each other. It really put things in perspective for us, and because of that, we don't take each other for granted.

    When we first started dating, there were so many conversations that we both expected to turn into arguments, just because we knew they would have with our exes. But for us, it was like "Wait, we can talk this through? Like rational people? Really?". In our previous relationships, we were both young and dumb, as were the crazy people we dated, and the relationships were completely toxic.

    I'm glad that we had time to make mistakes and learn from them ... I really don't think we'd be as in love or have as good of a relationship with each other (Good communictaion, mutual respect, etc) if we hadn't grown as people from prior experiences.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I'm so glad I don't come from one of those families where all the women are like "Get married. Make babies. Now!". All of them are actually very "Wait until you're 1,000% sure it's right ... and then wait a few more years after that!".

    It amazes me that there are still some mothers and grandmothers out there that base a girl's worth on whether or not she's "bagged a man". It makes me sad.


    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
    image

    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • I'm glad I never got pressure one way or another, honestly.  I think most of my family assumed I'd never get married at all; apparently my grandmother asked my sister at one point if I was a lesbian.  (And seemed like she'd be totally okay with that.  My grandma's awesome.)  I guess that's what happens when you don't date in high school...
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • I think I may have gone too far the other way.  My perspective on romance was all shaped by fantasy novels and chick flicks, so basically if I didn't know right off the bat that I was going to marry the guy, I wasn't going to bother.  I wouldn't have been capable of appreciating a high school boyfriend because I was looking for a soulmate.  It wasn't until I got to college and realized that I was being insane that I decided to give casual dating a try.  And whaddaya know, it wasn't too long before I started dating DH.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards