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We are have a reform ceremony - do I have to wear a veil? Could I do a birdcage veil instead of the traditional style with a blusher? My fiancé's family is a mix or conservative and reform - and I just converted and most of my family is Christian. My family doesn't care - but I don't want to be too non traditional and upset someone. thanks!!

Re: veil

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You'll need to ask your rabbi about this.  Traditionally, there is a badeken, when the groom covers the bride's face with the veil, before the ceremony.  That wouldn't exactly work with a birdcage.  ;-)  However, Reform rabbis differ widely on how many of the traditional customs are necessary.
  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ditto previous person - ask your rabbi. traditional jewish brides usually wear a traditional veil with blusher, but some reform rabbis will be pretty lenient about it. you could also wear a traditional veil for the ceremony but wear a birdcage veil for pictures / after ceremony.
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto to 2nd Bride and Rachie Moo
  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You might want to check with the rabbi, but I'd be shocked if a reform rabbi insisted on a blusher. I don't think I've ever seen a bride at a reform wedding wear a blusher over her face. In fact, I can think of a handful of times where the bride insisted to her mother that there was no way in hell she was wearing the blusher -- and the rabbi was never mentioned one way or the other. So sure, can't hurt to check with him/her, but I'd be very surprised if they have an opinion one way or the other.
  • Danaz1Danaz1 member
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you have to for a reform wedding. I have scene people wear them but didn't put them over their faces.  Its really up to.  It is just tradition nothing is mandatory even in more traditional weddings
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  • edited December 2011
    it is probably better to be on the safe side and wear a full veil. there are many modern ones that are so pretty. you can take it off after the ceremony. some more traditional rabbis will prefer this for the bedeken.
  • edited December 2011
    we are having a mostly reform/somewhat interfaith service with an ordained conservative rabbi. we are actually not doing a bedaeken at all. so i echo PP about checking with the rabbi. i think there is some discretion there.
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