Breaking of the glass question

Borey*sWifey11

Ok I'm not Jewish and neither is my FI but I love the breaking of the glass tradition and what all it stands for better than the sand mixing or candle lighting.  I just want to make sure that its ok that we do this since we aren't Jewish and I don't want to be offensive to anyone! I've just always wanted it to be part of my wedding. So my question is, is it ok for us to do the breaking of the glass even though we aren't Jewish?
Thank you

meredithrohter

There is a discussion of this on this post
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Okay, first, which is the best argument in the posts above, there are a LOT of interpretations of what the glass represents.

Personally, I would be pretty insulted if someone who wasn't Jewish and used that tradition. You are taking one of the most recognizable traditions of a people who have survived thousands of years of persecution simply because you like it. I would think your guests will definitely give you the side eye.

JoelsGirl07

I, personally, am never insulted when someone wants to use something for what it means for them. as long as you have an explanation for your reasoning, go for it. Lots of people get married under canopies and no one says they are stealing that from our chuppot.

Rachiemoo

it wouldn't bother me personally.

tenofcups4me

I have a completely opposite reaction than Meredith -- I think it's lovely when people use traditions from other cultures that they find meaningful. The breaking of the glass isn't a religious mandate -- it's a cultural tradition and if you find meaning in it, I think it's a great idea to incorporate it.

I was perfectly comfortable using a unity candle in my first wedding, which certainly isn't a Jewish tradition. But I liked the meaning so I used it. That's how weddings and other customs evolve. And the second time I got married, I combined the concept of a ketubah with the Quaker idea of all the guests being witnesses to our wedding by having a written ketubah-like statement that all our guests signed. I'm not Quaker and neither is DH, but we liked the concept. I don't see how that can possibly be insulting to anyone. I think it's actually a compliment.

slbriz34

Personally, I'm not a fan of folks just wanting to do anything willy-nilly because it's cool.  Once thigns become household, it loses it's significance.  If a canopy looks like a canopy versus a chuppah, I don't have a problem - but as they look more like the latter, I have to say it does bother me.

Now breaking the glass; and having plenty of Jewish and non-Jewish friends, if I went to a completely non-Jewish wedding (versus say one half of the couple being Jewish) and the glass was broken, I'd think it very strange and would feel like folks now just want to do it to be different and cool.

Just my two cents...

october010bride

I agree 100% with slbriz.

Shasha3100

I agree with slbriz as well. I would give the side eye if I was at that wedding.

nebbiolo

Agree that my understanding is the breaking of the glass is 100% Jewish culture (but doesn't carry so much religious significance). I'd raise an eyebrow if I witnessed this tradition at a non-Jewish wedding.

parker624

OP, what do you think the breaking of the glass stands for?  I never thought of it as something comparable to a sand ceremony or unity candle; i thought it was so symbolize the destruction of the temple and remember the tragedies that the Jewish people have been through.

ARod22

Breaking a glass is a tradition that is beautiful because it is integral to the Jewish faith and to the Jewish people.  I personally don't support others using customs from other faiths and cultures because I think it degrades the integrity of the tradition.  Not to be insulting, but I feel that you probably don't really understand what the tradition "stands for."  It originated as a way of warding off demons who wish to curse the marriage, then transformed into a way of commemorating the destruction of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem roughly 2,000 years ago.  The Romans destroyed the Temple, murdered/raped/enslaved Jews, while others were forced to flee.  The result over the next 2,000 years was assimilation, conversion to non-Jewish religion (which is considered a tragedy), and millions of Jews killed in the pogroms of Russia, and ultimately the Holocaust.  Every mitzvah, such as marriage, now reminds Jews of the hope of someday returning to Jerusalem and rebuilding the Temple under the rule of the Messiah (read: not Jesus.)  Whether or not one believes in any of this, the tradition is an integral part of the ceremony and defines the "flavor" of a Jewish wedding. It's not legally required to make a Jewish marriage, but it simply wouldn't be a Jewish wedding without it.  I would feel uncomfortable if I went to a Christian wedding and they broke a glass.  I would feel as though the tradition was being belittled as "a nice touch."

I know you really mean well and I also know others who wouldn't care, but to me, this is like Madonna wearing tefillin in concert to showcase her newfound spiritualism, or that craze a few years back where people kept Buddhas in their homes for good luck.  There are plenty of customs in other cultures that I think are lovely but I'm leaving them alone since they can't possibly be as meaningful to me as they are to others.

JessandNatonia

ARod22- My FI and I are planning on breaking of the glass, since his family is Jewish.  My family is Catholic, and I wanted to add something in the program describing the symbolism behind it so they could understand the true meaning. I really liked how you explained it above.  Can you recommend a website or book that I can cite from to properly explain the meaning?  The last thing I want to do is offend my future in laws by misrepresenting the true symbolism behind the breaking of the glass. Thanks so much!

ARod22

At weddings that I've been to, the rabbi has made a comment about how no matter how happy we are, each moment is tinged with sadness and mourning, since we are no longer whole as a people..and that we hope to be reunited in a repaired world someday.  Something to that effect, anyway.