Jewish Fiance

AlAllieAlice

My fiance is jewish, I'm catholic, but I'm not very religious. We don't want to have a full out jewish wedding, but want to incorprate some of the traditions into it. So I'm hoping you girls can give me some insight on which traditions you find important and would be good for this kind of wedding/reception, I already plan on having the seven blessings and I would like a chuppah since we are getting married outside but I don't know if that ok.

october010bride

Hi and welcome!

Yes, you can have a chuppah outside, there's nothing wrong with that!

And as for other traditions:

- My fiance and I will be signing the Ketubah (Jewish marriage license) before the ceremony with our parents and witnesses. If you and your fi are interested in a ketubah there are some really gorgeous ones online with interfaith text.

- We will have a modified bedecken (where the groom puts the veil on the bride) with just our family present
- My fiance will be walking down the aisle with his parents
- I will circle my fiance 7 times before we "enter" the chuppah together- the 7 circles represents many different things in Judaism
- We will be saying the traditional Jewish vows (very different than the traditional Christian vows)
- My fiance will break the glass
- A the reception my fiance's grandfather will bless the bread
- We will dance the traditional hora and of course go up in the chairs! 

And I think that's it. There are some great websites out there and Anita Diamant's book "The New Jewish Wedding" is a great resource for Jewish wedding traditions.

hth!

slbriz34

Oct01 pretty much included many of the traditions you'd find in a Jewish wedding.  Because you aren't Jewish, you should keep mind not over doing things and keeping a good balance for your family as well.  I think if you do the chuppah, blessings, and the breaking of the glass at the end, you'll be taking enough of the most popular, traditional elements without the entire affair seeming "too Jewish" for your family and friends.

But that's something you and your FI and perhaps family should sit down and discuss.

tenofcups4me

It doesn't so much matter what's important to us as what's important to your FH and his family :-)

That said, my ex-husband was Catholic and I'm what I think of as a "non-practicing" Jew -- the culture/history is important to me, the religion not so much. The things that were important for me to have at my ceremony were:

- Breaking of the glass -- to me, it wouldn't be a wedding without that!
- Chuppah -- I like the symbolism (and they're just plain pretty)
- Walking down the aisle with my mother and father
- The groom walking down the aisle with both of his parents (his Catholic mother was thrilled about that)
- All parents standing up with us under the chuppah
- Taking pictures before the ceremony and joining guests for majority of the cocktail hour (we took about 10 mins. by ourselves after ceremony)
- Hora at reception

So for me it was mostly the "culutural" things that were important. The seven blessings, circling, bedecken, etc. are things I'm not used to seeing even at weddings where both participants are Jewish and I probably wouldn't have done any of them even if I'd married a Jewish man.

2dBride

Having the chuppah outside is actually quite traditional.  The idea was that the fabric of the chuppah should be the only thing between you and the stars.  Some synagogues were built with a special opening in the ceiling for that very purpose.

And of course, this is handy in an interfaith wedding, because you can incorporate his traditions, without making your family feel like they are in a religious building of a different religion.  I know that at my first wedding, some nonJewish family members brought their kids, one of whom asked loudly, "What kind of church is this, Mommy?"  I thought it was pretty funny, but "Mommy" was clearly a bit uncomfortable about it.