Congratulations and Best Wishes!

midgetthemighty

So I saw this post on E and thought I'd bring it over here. Someone asked about saying congratulations to the groom and best wishes to the bride, which I've never even heard of as a tradition.

Someone came on and said that it's because the guy is supposed to be congratulated for getting a good catch and the girl should be offended by being congratulated. Stems from when women were "out to catch a husband" and to congratulate her on actually being to do that was insulting. Interesting and I'm sure it had it's place then but now I just find it silly.

Thoughts?

Zimsgirl

I've never heard of that. I've always just said Congratulations to the couple. I don't care either way

ETA: When I saw the title of this post I thought you were leaving the board because you moved up your date or something haha

midgetthemighty

Oh man I wish I was getting married earlier.

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:be69ae5e-e180-4d13-b76b-e75a78b7806d">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh man I wish I was getting married earlier.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
Haha yeah. I was talking to my mom last night and we moved our date from July to June due to Army training for FI and here's my family's schedule for May/June. Sister graduates college mid May, brother graduates high school week after, brother's grad party memorial day, RD the Friday of my brother's party, then wedding hahaha. I'm pretty sure if we moved it up my mom would go crazy :P

courtneyclare103

I've definitely heard of this before. In fact, at our engagement party I was told best wishes several times, while my FI was told congratulations. A lot of people we know follow etiquette to the T, though. Either way, it doesn't really matter to me. I'll take best wishes or congratulations.

kelsey+brandon

I like it. It's old fashioned and traditionalist, but I am in a lot of ways too.

ncd5015

I've never heard of this before. I think the meaning is nice but it doesn't matter to me; I'll take Best Wishes or Congratulations.

midgetthemighty

I'd take either too. I don't really care about that. I just don't like the implication that the guy isn't a good catch.

jaime10285

One of the parents of a student I used to teach said this to me and told me she had just learned it herself which was why she was saying it to me.  Other than that, I've never heard of this.

chelseakopperud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:6159a592-526f-4157-ada0-746dab6d9084">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never heard of that. I've always just said Congratulations to the couple. I don't care either way<strong> ETA: When I saw the title of this post I thought you were leaving the board because you moved up your date or something haha
</strong>Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]

I thought the same thing!!!

kelsey+brandon

I wonder if it's more of a Southern tradition since Courtney and I seem to be the only ones who have heard it in practice?

Megbo2012

Midge would never leave me.  

I've never heard of this.  Best wishes and congratulations are both compliments I will graciously accept. 

HarperBargo

I have heard of it. Some of my family still uses it.

courtneyclare103

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:c67b0fb7-ee9c-4511-9e24-fea61490f2ed">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder if it's more of a Southern tradition since Courtney and I seem to be the only ones who have heard it in practice?
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]
I think maybe so, Kelsey. Like many other things, I think it's a Southern thing. =)

sleblanc72

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:d0191bc6-78f6-47d8-ab1d-a27506d59a4c">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd take either too. I don't really care about that. I just don't like the implication that the guy isn't a good catch.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
This is my thought as well.

diamondx423

Fact: I knew about this from Gilmore Girls. Emily Gilmore is quite the stickler for formalities.

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:b011ece2-e9e1-451f-ab81-ad6d480ef67d">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Midge would never leave me.</strong>   I've never heard of this.  Best wishes and congratulations are both compliments I will graciously accept. 
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

True. :) Even if we did change our date, I wouldn't leave this board.

littleluckypenny

Never heard of this until this post......I wouldn't be offended either way.  Both are compliments and wanting the best for me.

Megbo2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:16fb24d9-546e-4658-bf86-5020d0d8f937">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes! : True. :) Even if we did change our date, I wouldn't leave this board.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

<div>Imagine having to change now?! It'd be crazy.  I don't think I would be able to!</div>

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:55f39883-48da-40dd-b565-80c2b24e5989">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes! : Imagine having to change now?! It'd be crazy.  I don't think I would be able to!
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

Me either! I don't have enough done for my June wedding yet! Let alone if I moved the date closer. Eeek!

amonis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:c67b0fb7-ee9c-4511-9e24-fea61490f2ed">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]I wonder if it's more of a Southern tradition since Courtney and I seem to be the only ones who have heard it in practice?
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

<div>I have heard it plenty of times as well.  But I am also in the South.  </div><div>
</div><div>I would totally be ok with hearing that.  I'm glad that my FI is considered a good catch by oher people too.  I don't think it is any more dated than the father of the bride giving the bride away.  That was started basically as a transfer of "property" and is still extremely common today.</div>

MMRoberts11

I may have heard it before but I've never paid attention to it.  When we got engaged I mostly remember people saying congratulations to us.  I wouldn't be offended either way if people said one or the other to me.

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:1c791d09-6bc1-4290-93a5-2860792303ed">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]Fact: I knew about this from Gilmore Girls. Emily Gilmore is quite the stickler for formalities.
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]
I miss Gilmore Girls!

LoveYouB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_congratulations-and-best-wishes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:5b242304-6892-4de4-9a62-4daf35be32fcPost:1c791d09-6bc1-4290-93a5-2860792303ed">Re: Congratulations and Best Wishes!</a>:
[QUOTE]Fact: I knew about this from Gilmore Girls. Emily Gilmore is quite the stickler for formalities.
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

Haha me too!! This is the only time I had heard this rule..

Shelly527IN

I never heard of it until my sister said it to me when I got engaged.  She's.....uh, shall we say different...so I thought she was nuts and not in the right century.  But she's also asked (years ago) if I had a beau.... I was like "bow? What kind of bow?"   Maybe the Gilmore Girls is where she got it.  I have no problem being congratulated!

doeie04

I thought you were leaving, also! Glad you aren't! haha

I said get out of the 19th century. I don't really care what people say, but I hate it when people think you have to do things a certain way. And it was the best answer for me.

Jean6912

I have never heard of this before, I think it's interesting but not something anyone I know follows. I don't care what phrase is said "congratulations, best wishes, lots of luck, etc..." as long as it's said with genuine sentiment.

Cassandra999

I have heard that you are supposed to say Best Wishes to the bride not congratulations.  but thats all I knew of it.

DrPB2b13

I have heard it in practice; at my cousin's wife's "bridal" shower my mother chided me for writing the wrong one on her stuffed bridal signature dog.  Honestly, she wasn't actually a bride, (they were already married and had a huge ceremony/reception in Brazil, then redid it all here in the US) so it didn't really matter to me.

Honestly, I'd accept either, it really doesn't matter to me.  I feel "best wishes" is appropriate for a woman if only because, at least historically, she was now up to having to care for a home and have & take care of children.  Best wishes to ANYONE who does that!  But honestly, things have changed so much since then; for anyone to actually take offense to someone congratulating a bride just seems silly.

calisel

I always so congrats to both bride and groom. I do not find it offensive and can't uderstand why. I mean after reading your post I kind of understand where people get it from. But I wouldn't find it offensive at all...