June 2012 Weddings

Disappointing groomsmen...

FI spoke to both of his groomsmen (a.k.a his 2 best friends) today about picking up their tuxes tomorrow for the wedding next weekend. Both of them told him they didn`t have the money to pay for it. This is after they were aware of the cost, they went to the place to get fitted, paid a deposit, and knew the wedding was next week (obviously..). It was as if one of them was blindsided that he was going to have to pay for the rental before actually wearing it to the wedding. I`m trying not to stress about it, but I`m disappointed for FI for obvious reasons.

Unfortunately, we can`t afford the extra $400 to cover both tuxedos. I'm really sad thinking about FI standing up there on his own on our wedding day because of his irresponsible/unable to plan 8 months ahead friends. I also feel crappy because now I feel like we were asking too much of them or something, because I guess they can't afford it. Bad day all around.

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Re: Disappointing groomsmen...

  • My heart goes out to your FI. Sorry you have to deal with a week before the wedding.
  • $200 a person is nothing. If that's too much money in exchange for a friendship, that just shows how good of friends they really are.
    I would look into less expensive options, or compromise and allow them to wear their own black 3 piece suits.

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  • edited June 2012
    Peachy - those are good suggestions, but unfortunately, neither of these guys own suits (or even dress pants, shoes and a shirt which we could have made work - I asked). I researched high and low and this was the most affordable option I could come up with in our city. I encouraged FI to pick suits as I thought it would be more cost effective for everyone, but it was the one detail he really wanted citing he probably would never have another chance to wear a tux at his wedding.

    It sucks, but I'm feeling better about it today (as is FI). All that matters is that we're maried. My sister really helped drive that home for me and I just can't wait for next week!!
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  • Is that really how much tuxedo rentals are!?!  Can you guys find a quick alternative?  FI and his groomsmen bought pants and a vest from Sears or JCPenny for about $60.  Pair it with a white shirt, tie and shoes and you have a suit!  Not the greatest quality, but it will certainly do for the day and will look really nice.
  • those tuxs are a little pricey. However, if they knew eight months ago they should have been prepared or told yall then that they wouldn't be able to do it. I just ordered a tux for my ring bearer ( because my other ones momma decided to back out yesterday with 8 days to go!) and i had to pay 100 dollars because i had to rush the order.

    I would definitely try kohls, jc penny, or sears like the previous post said. its worth a shot.
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  • If you offered to cover half, would they be able to afford them? But only if you can afford that 200. But I agree that 200 for a tux isn't that bad, especially web they've known for a while. I'm sorry they're being like this.
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  • Ugh what a sad situation, I'm sorry you guys have to deal with this!  I agree that you should try a department store.  It's not like these men will never wear a classic black suit again (other weddings, funerals), and I'm sure they can find one that's pretty inexpensive.

    Good luck, and keep us updated!
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  • Thanks for your kind encouragement ladies. I'll talk to FI tonight about the possibility of having them get suits instead...

    The most awkward part is that he already told one groomsman about a month ago that he would help with the cost since he's got a new baby at home and has just started a new job. Now that the second groomsman can't cover his tux either, we feel like it would be a d!ck move not to offer the same to him, but we just really can't afford it. But the second one has no kids, no girlfriend, lives at home, and has a job so FI feels like there's no "excuse" for him. I didn't want to delve into the guys financial situation and make judgements that we might know nothing about, so I just left it alone at that point.

    I mean ,we COULD afford to pay for both tuxedos, but that would basically eat up our "emergency funds" that I always keep in the account while we're travelling - JIC of something crazy happening, like the car needing repairs out of province, one of us needing meds while we're away, or enough for a flight home if a major emergency happens with one of the kids. All obviously worst case scenario situations, but I'm an accountant!! I always plan ahead in preparation. I hate surprises (like this one!) that I can't afford.

    We're putting off picking up the tuxes until next week, so we'll see what happens. And I guess it must be a regional thing, but this rental was honestly the cheapest I could find. It's $155 for the tux, shoes, vest, and tie plus taxes and comes to about $175 each. Our ringbearer's (our son) is $140 taxes in (ouch, since hes only 5!!). The only better deal I found was if we did 4 rentals, FI's would have been free, but that obviously didn't apply to us.
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  • lindseyann410lindseyann410 member
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    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_disappointing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8bfafee1-905f-41c4-a663-70453b16604fPost:19f4f6d3-4f33-4687-a5fb-0851ed03033e">Re: Disappointing groomsmen...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is that really how much tuxedo rentals are!?!  Can you guys find a quick alternative? <strong> FI and his groomsmen bought pants and a vest from </strong>Sears or <strong>JCPenny for about $60.</strong>  Pair it with a white shirt, tie and shoes and you have a suit!  Not the greatest quality, but it will certainly do for the day and will look really nice.
    Posted by julbgordo[/QUOTE]

    <div>That's exactly what we did.  I think it will look great!  I can't imagine paying $200 just to rent a tux.  FI has been in a few weddings and had to rent tuxes, and he said the most he paid was $80.  Any idea why yours are so expensive? </div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: Sorry the situation sucks.  For our ringbearer, we got a cute bow tie, vest, white button up shirt, and knickers for $30.  That could be another way to cut costs.</div>
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  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_disappointing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8bfafee1-905f-41c4-a663-70453b16604fPost:c629281f-598e-4f84-aa43-1c3c8d6ab4ba">Re: Disappointing groomsmen...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Disappointing groomsmen... : That's exactly what we did.  I think it will look great!  I can't imagine paying $200 just to rent a tux.  FI has been in a few weddings and had to rent tuxes, and he said the most he paid was $80.  Any idea why yours are so expensive?  ETA: Sorry the situation sucks.  For our ringbearer, we got a cute bow tie, vest, white button up shirt, and knickers for $30.  That could be another way to cut costs.
    Posted by lindseyann410[/QUOTE]

    I think the reason it's more expensive is that I live in Canada, and even the big "box" stores have higher prices than what we paid. We don't have a JC Penney, or most of the other sotres that were listed above. We ended up renting from a local place, so I think that's why the price was a bit lower. I looked into purchasing suits and once all is said and done, it was more expensive than the tuxes. I wish we could rent them here for $80.. it's $125 just for the tux, plus an extra $15 each for the vest/tie and shoes.
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  • My FI and his groomsmen rented their tuxes from Men's Wearhouse because they match the bridesmaids dress colors exactly from David's Bridal. My FI chose to get a more expensive option for the rental because the fabric is cooler and it will be an outdoor wedding in the Deep South. I believe the tux rental cost 180 with tax.

    Plus my FI will get a free tux.

  • edited June 2012
    Ugh that blows. But, you might be able to find a really great deal this weekend at a department store because of fathers day sales!

    ETA: Just realized you're in Canada, and since I'm uninformed about Halmark holidays around the world this might not apply.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_disappointing-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8bfafee1-905f-41c4-a663-70453b16604fPost:30da465e-52ce-40d0-b46e-cf671de40e1d">Re: Disappointing groomsmen...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ugh that blows. But, you might be able to find a really great deal this weekend at a department store because of fathers day sales! ETA: Just realized you're in Canada, and since I'm uninformed about Halmark holidays around the world this might not apply.
    Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

    It definitely applies :) I'll keep my eyes peeled.
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  • I really don't think you're out of line expecting them to be upfront if they couldn't afford it. I think if they gave you a price point and you honored it then that's just sucky. What did your FI say? I personally wouldn't mind if they got dress pants and button ups for the day. They're there to support your FI and in the end that's what should matter. Good luck dear; it will all work out...
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