How to list "stepgrandmother" in program

ash273uk

I've only posted on this board a handful of times, but you girls always have good feedback and I really need your help.  I'll try to make this concise:

FI and I have no living biological grandparents.  FI's last living grandparent, his grandfather died a little over a year ago.  FI's grandparents got divorced before FI was even born, and FI's grandfather had been re-married to Sue for over 30 years.  Sue has always been a part of FI's life, and FI has just always called her by her first name (not Grandma, or any type of name like that).  Since FI's mom was an adult when they got married, she never referred to Sue as her "stepmom".

Here's where the dilemma comes in.  We are going to have Sue be seated at the wedding before the mothers are seated.  Here's my question.  In the program, should we list her as Grandmother of the Groom?  Because FI's other grandmothers are deceased, we wouldn't have to worry about someone being offended.  For some reason I think it's weird for her to be listed on the program as "Step Grandmother of the Groom", even though that's exactly what she is.  I asked FI how he wanted her listed and he said he didn't know, and when I asked FMIL, she said it was up to FI and me.  

Please let me know what you all think. 

littleluckypenny

Well, I say list her as grandmother because if I'm correct, you say she has been around for 30 years?  It's not like she just showed up in FI's life last year.  Even though his mom may not consider her her stepmom, that doesn't really reflect on the relationship FI has with this woman.  If he wants to list her as grandmother, I say do it. 

chelseakopperud

List her as grandmother for sure!

franklissa

I agree with PP,Ipersonally would have her listed as his grandmother she has been in the family for 30 years.

midgetthemighty

Grandmother for sure. When my "step"grandfather was alive, I NEVER referred to him as anything but grandpa. 

michelletobin

I would say to list her as what your FI see's her as. I don't feel anyone would be offended if you list her as granmother concidering she has been a part of his life for so long. I had to list my step mother as "step mother of the bride" on our programs, even though my dad is deceased, my mother will be there so I had to put step in front of her and my step dad. It gets complicated but with her the only living grandparent I think it would be fine to shorten it.

kelsey+brandon

I'm listing my step grandmother as my step grandmother. Otherwise I think it's disrespectful to his actual grandmother.

MoonlightSilver

I have a step grandfather that joined our family when my mother was an adult. I've always called him by his first name. For the wedding, or explaining to strangers, I always just say "my grandfather" because it's easier. 

tigurlily

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddingchannel.com/main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-to-list-stepgrandmother-in-program?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:97975679-9ce9-48bd-81ba-c0330417bf5aPost:07fe97f4-fb76-400e-894f-b82a20c135f0">Re:How to list quot;stepgrandmotherquot; in program</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm listing my step grandmother as my step grandmother. Otherwise I think it's disrespectful to his actual grandmother.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]
i agree with this.

however: if no one will be offended, and he feels as if she is his grandmother, then it shouldn't be a problem to call her such.  since she's the only remaining one.

for fi's mom and stepdad, we're just calling them his parents, since they are the ones who raised him from like age 3.

ash273uk

Thanks ladies.  I have really been stressing over this and last night I told FI that he has to make a decision on this.  He chose "Grandmother of the Groom".