How would you handle this?

biogal73

Hello everyone!
My grandmother (who is really more like a mother to me) doesn't like my future hubby and is refusing to attend our wedding.  I've accepted this, but I'm wondering how to delicately handle this during my shower and wedding--so far I've avoided saying anything about it to the other side of the family and my friends.  I don't want people to think she's a big jerk.

What would you say to people when they ask why grandma isn't there?
Thanks!

julbgordo

That's a tough one ... I would hope that people would just not bring it up to begin with.  Honestly, as an adult and if you say she's more like a mother to you, I would try to have a heart-to-heart with her.  Although I'm sure you respect her opinion, you're making an adult decision and she should not act this way.  If she truly wishes to have no part in it, just tell people that she didn't want to join in the celebration.  I think most would get the hint and not pressure for more information.

daria24

If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.

gregamywedding

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:56702d44-5199-4c04-8fac-40e94d44f37a">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

This.

Ash61612

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:56702d44-5199-4c04-8fac-40e94d44f37a">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

agree

kristin183

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:56702d44-5199-4c04-8fac-40e94d44f37a">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

Totally agree

amonis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:56702d44-5199-4c04-8fac-40e94d44f37a">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]
This.

goodine11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:ebff4a55-c16e-4aa6-856f-33cdc90fb012">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How would you handle this? : Totally agree
Posted by kristin183[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I agree also</div>

Jean6912

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:56702d44-5199-4c04-8fac-40e94d44f37a">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]


My thought as well

chelseamb11

Honestly you can just say she was unable to make it and leave it at that.  Change the subject if you have to.

Whtara10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:56702d44-5199-4c04-8fac-40e94d44f37a">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

definitely agree with this

MMRoberts11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_how-would-you-handle-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:c926bcbe-4758-4d75-aaa2-e427c279e528Post:56702d44-5199-4c04-8fac-40e94d44f37a">Re: How would you handle this?</a>:
[QUOTE]If anyone asks why she isn't there, I would just say something like "She was not able to attend, I wish she could have been here." And leave it at that. You don't owe anyone any other explanation. If they press the issue, change the subject.
Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

Agreed.

doeie04

Agreed.

Sorry she is being a poo.