This question was asked on the "customs/traditions" board and I was curious to see what everyone's response was here. Did your FI ask your parents permission/blessing to marriage you? How did he ask?
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Re: Asking permission/blessing to get married
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FI asked my parents while I was at work and apparently barely got it out before I got home. He was nervous and my mom, dad and brother were all in the room. Everyone knew what he was getting at but my dad made him say it. At one point my mom even said something about it and my dad's response was "I want to hear him ask it".
They asked his plans on when he was going to ask me and that's when he found out he'd be proposing to me on their wedding anniversary.
That night, we went out with both of our families for the first time. Everyone at the table knew Matt had asked for my hand just hours earlier except me.
[QUOTE]My FI took my dad out to dinner and asked his permission. He also called my little brother to ask him. <strong> My dad said I was "non-returnable"
</strong>Posted by ncd5015[/QUOTE]
haha sounds like something my Dad would say!
My FI did not ask for permission or blessing. I was just 18 and he was 23, my Dad would have given neither I'm sure. But we aren't really a traditional family so I don't think he was bothered by it either.
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I grew up in CT, but live in PA. My fiance actually drove up to my parents' house to ask permission/blessing (I'm not sure how he worded it). I didn't tell him he had to do it- it's something he wanted to do, but I really appreciated it.
Because he had to take a weekend to do it, he told me he was going to visit family. He likes to point out that he didn't really lie. I had an idea of what was going on, just because the majority of his family is in the area so there wasn't really anywhere to travel to. My mom wanted to keep the secret though, so when they all went out to dinner they had to avoid the local restaurant where my sister had worked. She didn't want someone to mention to my sister that they saw my parents with some guy and have her guess and tell me.
The three of them all went to dinner the friday before we left to go to Knoxville. My parents said yes of course. FI told them he wasn't 100% sure he was going to ask me but wanted to make sure he had asked them in case he asked. Good thing he asked because he asked me that weekend.
When FI proposed, I didnt cry (I rarely cry)... but when he told me he had gotten my fathers permission, it hit me how real this was and how serious and that is when the tears came(not that the proposal wasnt serious, but this took it to a whole new level!)!
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My FI insisted that he did not need to ask permission, but I knew it would make my dad happy if he did.
So, we set up a Skype with my parents (we are in SC, they are in WI) and chatted with them. Josh told his intentions to marry me, and said he would like their blessing on our relationship and marriage. They gave it. Of course, they knew I would have married him without it. But still, my parent's love my FI, so it's all good!!
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To each their own, I just don't get that.
[QUOTE]sleblanc72 .....can you PLEASE explain your siggy pic to me? I LOVE IT! But I can't figure it out. Fairies? Which one are you?
Posted by Nindakay[/QUOTE]
Haha it's down in Cancun, I'm definitely not the fairy! There's a shopping plaza where there are always people dressed up in really cool costumes (there was a bronze cowboy, this fairy, a silver dude on a motorcycle, etc.), this one was a fairy and she sat on a little bar and moved around so it looked like she was floating and such.
I left home and haven't talked to my parents since.
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[QUOTE]Maybe this is because I'm old fashioned, but I don't follow the logic of knowing the parents will say yes and therefore not asking. It's still a nice gesture. FI knew I was going to say yes but he still got down on one knee and asked me. To each their own, I just don't get that.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
I agree. Same things with BMs (which ended up getting me into a huge fight with one of my friends a few years ago). My best friend all through middle school and high school got engaged when we were in college. Growing up, we always said how we would be eachothers MOHs. Even when the day came, I never assumed I was her MOH but I did assume I was a BM even though she never officially asked me. She always talked to me like I was a BM. We ended up getting in a huge fight at one point and that was one of the biggest ammo points she used: That I "assumed" I was a bm. I think the formality of it is always nice and always respectful, even though you know the answer.
Although that makes me curious if anyone ever thought a family would say yes and they said no lol.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking permission/blessing to get married : Haha it's down in Cancun, I'm definitely not the fairy! There's a shopping plaza where there are always people dressed up in really cool costumes (there was a bronze cowboy, this fairy, a silver dude on a motorcycle, etc.), this one was a fairy and she sat on a little bar and moved around so it looked like she was floating and such.
Posted by sleblanc72[/QUOTE]
That is so cool!! I was wondering why she looked like she was floating....it baffled me!
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Unfortunately, they have the same first name. So when I found my dress, I texted all of the BMs that didn't get to go with me that I had found it. I included the wrong one in the text. I felt like a jerk. I played it off that I still wanted her involved and asked her to pass out programs. I still feel bad about it. I was already planning on asking her to do that, but definitely not like that.
[QUOTE]Maybe this is because I'm old fashioned, but I don't follow the logic of knowing the parents will say yes and therefore not asking. It's still a nice gesture. FI knew I was going to say yes but he still got down on one knee and asked me. To each their own, I just don't get that.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
I couldnt agree more!
[QUOTE]My parents are divorced so FI asked both my parents separately. He was genuine in asking my mom, but my dad was more for "I'm asking you too so I don't harcore piss you off" purposes.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
<div>SAME!!!</div>
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[QUOTE]Maybe this is because I'm old fashioned, but I don't follow the logic of knowing the parents will say yes and therefore not asking. It's still a nice gesture. FI knew I was going to say yes but he still got down on one knee and asked me. To each their own, I just don't get that.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]
agree, I guess I am old fashioned with you
FI did NOT ask my parents. I grew up hearing the story about when my uncle asked my grandparents for their permission and blessings to marry my aunt: they stared at him blankly for a minute and then my grandmother said, "Sure, but we're not the ones who have to say yes."
So, knowing that FI would literally be laughed out of my parent's home if he'd done that, I actually specifically asked him not to. No regrets on it either, their reaction to our engagement was, "Oh, okay. That's nice." and wouldn't have been any different if they'd known beforehand.
He showed me the message he sent to my dad, and my dad's response. I truly melted when my dad said FI makes me happy and that makes him happy, and couldn't have picked a better guy for me.