African American Weddings

KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?

I am going to TK etiquette hell on this but I put on our reception card "please join us for Adult-Only Reception." We have some folks who believe they can bring little Ricky and everything is fine; especially since he can sit and eat off the same plate. Heck no! I have to laugh at TK rules sometimes because people state just call and tell them no if they rsvp with the kids. Well if the kid is a baby, how do you rsvp for a baby? You don't! They just bring them anyway!



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Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?

  • TNMurrayTNMurray member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I laugh at  TK etiquette. I think that they are guidelines that need to be taken into consideration when making decisions but not law.
  • flawlessfayflawlessfay member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honey, do as you please.

    On my website, i have NO CHILDREN all over the place
    On my rsvp, I put "WE HAVE RESERVED 2 SEATS IN YOUR HONOUR for couples,

    and 1 SEAT for singles.

    I follow my rules
    Mrs-Flawless-Pitts
  • ellone400ellone400 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:59c95926-7e8a-4a5e-99de-89c3aa0a7938">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honey, do as you please. On my website, i have NO CHILDREN all over the place On my rsvp, I put "WE HAVE RESERVED 2 SEATS IN YOUR HONOUR for couples, and 1 SEAT for singles. I follow my rules
    Posted by flawlessfay[/QUOTE]

    this i love it lol!
  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I break all kinds of TK etiquette rules:

    - we did online RSVPs
    - we are doing a cash bar for the reception (open bar at cocktail hour)
    - we are having a buffet dinner, not plated
    - we called it an "adult only" reception on our website
    - my BMs are wearing knee-length dresses
    - we are not doing tons of flowers for the ceremony or reception

    Oh well, we're doing what's right for us!!
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  • edited December 2011
    Honey I am breaking all the "rules". The reception is adults only and I mean just that and I dont want kids under 10 at the ceremony. It is what it is. I do not want to hear Lil Ricky Bobby crying while I am saying my vows!! Rules are meant to be bent and broken and when I am footing the bill, then it's MY rules. IMO
  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm so anti-kids at our vow renewal that I ALMOST asked Babe who was coming to pick up his daughter after the ceremony....
  • edited December 2011
    Your not alone, our RSVP''s dif say ADULT ONLY RECEPTION. And if they dont like thats one less person we have to feed...This is not Chuckee Cheese or Disney World, it's wedding.....
    www.letsmakeitofficial.weebly.com updated 1/24/11 OOOOooohhh, Mrs. WILSON
  • sadou02sadou02 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:86e8f8a7-e4e9-43b3-90f6-02693d970b24">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I break all kinds of TK etiquette rules: - we did online RSVPs - we are doing a cash bar for the reception (open bar at cocktail hour) - we are having a buffet dinner, not plated - we called it an "adult only" reception on our website - my BMs are wearing knee-length dresses - we are not doing tons of flowers for the ceremony or reception Oh well, we're doing what's right for us!!
    Posted by cincy2011[/QUOTE]

    All of this! I broke every single one of these rules except the buffet. Went back to seated.
    image139 Made the list!
    image 107 Are ready to party!
    image 32 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are getting on my nerves!
  • edited December 2011
    LOL......everyone's responses are so hilarious. There is no need for me to respond. My response is all the above!
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  • edited December 2011
    LOL... We are AA brides. We make our rules so our people will understand. On other boards they suggest not to say "no children" and to only list the names of the adults.  I voiced my opion "not all people understand that as no kids allowed". Also, why throw rocks and hide your hand.  Say what you mean, mean what you say!  OH well I am breaking all of the rules.  NO FREAKING Kids.  Now with that said, I love kids.. Heck I work for Child Protective Services.  I just dont want them at my wedding.  We all know there is always two or three kids running around and their parents sit there acting like they don't see them.  Plus I do not want to hear a crying baby while I am saying my vows.  To my married friends... I told them this could be their date night. Leave the kids with their granny, auntie, cousin, or whom ever.. just dont bring them to my wedding.  Break the rules... SO WHAT!  it is our day and we should do what want, how want....
    imageAnniversary
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:a75e8980-c352-496f-8697-c8e670076aa7">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]LOL..<strong>. We are AA brides. We make our rules so our people will understand</strong>. On other boards they suggest not to say "no children" and to only list the names of the adults.  I voiced my opion "not all people understand that as no kids allowed". Also, why throw rocks and hide your hand.  Say what you mean, mean what you say!  OH well I am breaking all of the rules.  NO FREAKING Kids.  Now with that said, I love kids.. Heck I work for Child Protective Services.  I just dont want them at my wedding.  We all know there is always two or three kids running around and their parents sit there acting like they don't see them.  Plus I do not want to hear a crying baby while I am saying my vows.  To my married friends... I told them this could be their date night. Leave the kids with their granny, auntie, cousin, or whom ever.. just dont bring them to my wedding.  Break the rules... SO WHAT!  it is our day and we should do what want, how want....
    Posted by lisa4766[/QUOTE]


    The truth!


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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:59c95926-7e8a-4a5e-99de-89c3aa0a7938">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honey, do as you please. On my website, i have NO CHILDREN all over the place <strong>On my rsvp, I put "WE HAVE RESERVED 2 SEATS IN YOUR HONOUR for couples, and 1 SEAT for singles</strong>. I follow my rules
    Posted by flawlessfay[/QUOTE]

    I'm sooo taking this from you! Good idea!
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto to all the above post. And I want to add " chile please! When TK pays for something, TK can have input. Lol"
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  • edited December 2011
    I so agree with all of you. I love what you guys are saying. The knot is not footing nay bill up in through here lmao. It's a heck no.

    My website says it, My rsvp's will say it, whenever anyone asks it's A HELL NO and you can stay home too. OH please we don't even live in a traditional society any longer lol.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:86e8f8a7-e4e9-43b3-90f6-02693d970b24">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I break all kinds of TK etiquette rules: - we did online RSVPs - we are doing a cash bar for the reception (open bar at cocktail hour) - we are having a buffet dinner, not plated - we called it an "adult only" reception on our website - my BMs are wearing knee-length dresses - we are not doing tons of flowers for the ceremony or reception Oh well, we're doing what's right for us!!
    Posted by cincy2011[/QUOTE]

    I don't think knee length dresses, a buffet dinner, or not having flowers is any type of etiquette faux pas.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:04c29c24-1ee5-4064-b29d-b04155fc0580">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I laugh at  <strong>TK etiquette.</strong>
    Posted by TNMurray[/QUOTE]

    Etiquette isn't exclusive to theknot.com lol.  There are whole books written about it. TBH it's a fancy word for manners.
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  • hatroopeshatroopes member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:86e8f8a7-e4e9-43b3-90f6-02693d970b24">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I break all kinds of TK etiquette rules: - we did online RSVPs - we are doing a cash bar for the reception (open bar at cocktail hour) - we are having a buffet dinner, not plated - we called it an "adult only" reception on our website - <strong>my BMs are wearing knee-length dresses </strong>- we are not doing tons of flowers for the ceremony or reception Oh well, we're doing what's right for us!!
    Posted by cincy2011[/QUOTE]

    <div>Please tell me they don't have a "rule" against BMs wearing knee length dresses!</div><div>
    </div><div>No kids at our reception - there will be alcohol and we can't be held responsible for parents that can't control their kids</div>
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  • hatroopeshatroopes member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:f7c4c321-26bc-4d90-9d7c-6d43900bca4b">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm so anti-kids at our vow renewal that I ALMOST asked Babe who was coming to pick up his daughter after the ceremony....
    Posted by tyboyd[/QUOTE]

    <div>I am LMAO at this one!</div>
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  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:f8795d3d-0bfd-4e69-b2e0-a0af72f937dd">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette? : I don't think knee length dresses, a buffet dinner, or not having flowers is any type of etiquette faux pas. Posted by MVJP10[/QUOTE]

    I've definitely seen people on TK say that all three of those things are against "proper etiquette".  I obviously didn't agree....  :)
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:dd3d90f1-e495-4c24-ab5f-791692169cfc">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette? : I've definitely seen people on TK say that all three of those things are against "proper etiquette".  I obviously didn't agree....  :)
    Posted by cincy2011[/QUOTE]

    Really? I have never seen that but I believe you. There's definitely a line between what some people perceive to be be proper etiquette and what actually is proper etiquette.  I don't think Emily Post has ever been against knee length dresses lol  :)

    I like etiquette personally but for more than just weddings. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I swear some of these etiquette girls are Nazis.  Some of them just need to chillax.  It's as if they think that everyone understands the way etiquette works just based off of an invitation.  I'm "breaking the rules" by putting black tie in the lower corner of my invites, but yet I'm "not supposed to tell people how to dress and people should understand it's black tie based on the invitation alone".  Umm, hello, this is 2011, not 1896.  Things are so different these days and not everyone understands that there's an overall theme just based off of an invitation.  It's very unrealistic to have that expectation of your guests.  I also included an information card that said smack dab at the top "ADULT RECEPTION".  I have no regrets whatsoever with putting that on there because FI's ghetto family will try to show up with Lil Ray Ray and BooBoo, so yes, it needs to be stated out in the open right where people can see it.  And if the etiquette girls have a problem with it, then they can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
  • edited December 2011

    I can't speak for anyone but myself, but liking etiquette does not equal being a Nazi. To each her own and if you don't agree with etiquette that is cool. It's not wrong to obey etiquette and not wrong not to.  Do whatcha like :)

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:b7c4d61a-1f45-4137-87b0-b6b09cd1f1c1">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can't speak for anyone but myself, but liking etiquette does not equal being a Nazi. To each her own and if you don't agree with etiquette that is cool. It's not wrong to obey etiquette and not wrong not to.  Do whatcha like :)
    Posted by MVJP10[/QUOTE]
     <div>That's not what I was saying at all.  I'm not saying that etiquette = Nazi, I'm saying that <strong>some</strong> of the etiquette girls are very over the top and basically act like you're a bad person for breaking etiquette rules.  I guess I should've clarified that better.  It just pisses me off when people are judged when rules are broken, and I agree, to each their own, but don't judge me for it.  That's what I meant.  Sorry that came across wrong. </div>
  • sheshedukeshesheduke member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am so putting Adults only reception on my invite has a son and we have our ring bearer and flower girl. The flower girls mother said she is sending her little butt to her granny's after the ceremony she wants to party and she wants to party with no hang ups. I know FI is going to want his son at the reception so him and the ring bearer can play together until about 8:30 then one of the older aunts is gonna have to take their little butt home I am want to have a good time. I don't care if people are mad that we are going to have 3 kids there. Those are our kids (the ring bearer and the flower girl are my god children) and we can have them there if we want plus we can control them all I have to do is cut the eye and they know wassup. Skip etiquette you have to do what is right for you plus I am not paying $50 or $60 a plate for lil pookie to waste over no siry bob! I'm cool see you at the reunion or at the next birthday party but the wedding and reception ummmm no!
  • MmeSterlingMmeSterling member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Some people just don't get it and you have to spell it out to them in so many forms! I know some brides who went through hell because of that! Please! The only children who will be present at my wedding will be part of the bridal party. There will only be one exception and it is one of my bridesmaids' baby (because nobody will be available to babysit).
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_kir-breaking-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:0c5b15a2-c6d9-4c31-a388-5fe882c02454Post:2493a117-e8ba-48d1-a5ff-2bb6c2eef082">Re: KIR: Are You Breaking Etiquette?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I swear some of these etiquette girls are Nazis.  Some of them just need to chillax.  It's as if they think that everyone understands the way etiquette works just based off of an invitation.  I'm "breaking the rules" by putting black tie in the lower corner of my invites, but yet I'm "not supposed to tell people how to dress and people should understand it's black tie based on the invitation alone".  Umm, hello, this is 2011, not 1896.  Things are so different these days and not everyone understands that there's an overall theme just based off of an invitation.  It's very unrealistic to have that expectation of your guests.  I also included an information card that said smack dab at the top "ADULT RECEPTION".  I have no regrets whatsoever with putting that on there because FI's ghetto family will try to show up with Lil Ray Ray and BooBoo, so yes, it needs to be stated out in the open right where people can see it.  And if the etiquette girls have a problem with it, then they can kiss the fattest part of my ass.
    Posted by kiyamurph[/QUOTE]
    LOL  LMAO... except it would be my ghetto family with their bad azz kids.  I really dont want to catch a charge on my wedding day because I had to choke my cousing's little bratty bad azz child.  For some reason our people think it is OK to bring kids to weddings, not just their kids, but other peoples kids too!  Uhhh I will have people at the door.. those with crumb snatchers will be turned away.  After they leave their gift of course...LOL...LOL...LOL!!!
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