WHAT DO YOU LADIES THINK??????

[Deleted User]

So me and the Fiance are really tryna save money, so we can buy our house, get a car, and pay off all our debt, so we were thinkin of going to the court house and getting married March 31, and 2 years later March 31, 2012 having the big lavish wedding that I want. But I'm also worried about what my mom and his sisters will think, his mom is totally on bored with it.

alfdallas21

Congrats on your engagement and welcome to our board!! To answer your inquiry remember, you and FI have to do what's best for both of you NOT what others may or may not think/say...if you & FI have some major goals you want to accomplish prior to having your lavish wedding, then do it...as you check off those goals, you & FI will be closer to being able to properly plan for the wedding of your dreams!  Maybe you & FI could host an intimate dinner for just your parents and siblings as a celebration of your marriage by the JOP in March 2010 and announce to the group that a formal affair will be held later. (not that they need an explanation but sometimes it helps fam to understand the path you have choosen)...HTH and GL!! 

julinejb

I agree with Alf! You have to work within your means and do what is comfortable for you and FI. If you worry about what people think now, you'll be miserable and regrettful for not doing what you originally had in mind. Congrats, happy planning & welcome to the board!

Lovie 129

I agree with Alf as well. Whatever you decide, good luck.

brobin01

welcome to the board..I totally agree with Alf. I say, if they aren't going to foot the bill for the entire wedding, than they can HOLLAAA!!!

niklaw

Above all, do what you and your soon to be husband think is best! I definitely can relate to the trying to pay off debt and purchase things.  It sounds as if you are being very practical about all of this and are thinking beyond the wedding date, which is always a difficult balance when it comes to planning a wedding.  Good luck!

tippytoe1981

I agree with Alf and the other ladies.  only you and your fiance knows what's best and within your means and what will work out in the long run...it may be hard for some family members to accept this, but their priorities aren't necessarily where yours is.  but the real thing that everyone has to realize is that you are getting married and the celebration of love is the best celebration of all and it doesn't really matter how you do it, as long as the couple is happy. and nothing is wrong with having your big wedding or anniversary party later on down the line if you choose to.  congratulations, good luck, and welcome to the board! 

tamishae77

I'm on board with it!  I think that saving money for your house, car, and to pay off your debt is very practical.  And like you said you can have the lavish wedding of your dreams two years later!

Crook251

I agree with everyone else. I too have thought of that option, but by the time I really made up my mind I had already but $$$ into it. Do what you gotta do.

KimRhone

I'm having the same problem and I feel like you should do what you want to do. It's really not about them, it's about you and the FI. I know what we take into consideration our family thoughts but sometimes you have to do what is right for you. Talk to them and see what they say but in the end let it be what makes you happy. Happy decision making!

Deidra123

Ditto to what everyone else said.  However, in your post you also said, "and 2 years later March 31, 2012 having the big lavish wedding that I want"Therefore YOU want the lavish wedding, right?  If you want the lavish wedding there is nothing wrong with having it right now.  Figure out what YOU really want in your heart.  Do you really want to wait 2 years?  If not, have the wedding, but trim back on it, now.  If you are really ok with waiting two years, then wait two years.  Taking the more practical approach is not always the answer to everything.  Do whatever is in your heart.

rhodesign

Welcome!It's fine to go ahead and get married now, but just don't call the 2 year bash a wedding. If you call it a wedding, people will expect to see you get married, and you can't do that if you're already married. It's not unheard of though, just most people call it a vow renewal, and that way it's a celebration of renewing your vows in front of your friends and family. Good luck and happy planning!

Mrs.JKforever

As always I think you should always have the wedding first and then purchase your house, because a house is more than a down payment and in reality which all that comes with purchasing your house and sh*t happens you may end up just chasing your wedding dreams.I had my dream wedding and now a year later My husband and I are ready to purchase our house and he gets laid off, so while we have our downpayment plus some additional $$$ our plans have to be put on hold because it just isn't practical to get into a mortgage on one income. At least in my opinion that is.GL