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Bestman bringing girfriend not wife!

My FI  best man is bring his "girlfriend" instead of his wife  and ask if not post pictures on Facebook of the wedding fearing wifey will find out. I move to Los Angeles from Kansas City 2 years ago and my friends and family that cant attend the wedding are looking forward to seeing my photos.. I'm pissed why should I be restricted on what I post. I agreed to remove my future husband and his best friend as my FB friends , but still he says it not good enough? any advice?
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Re: Bestman bringing girfriend not wife!

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    TINAMMTINAMM member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    WOW! Tell him Im sorry you and your wife are having issues however , it is flat out disrespect to bring this skank to YOUR wedding! You are celebrating the unioin between the man you love and vice versa and I will not restrict ANYTHING because you cant keep your d*&^ in your pants! Now feel free to not be in the wedding and not attend if you feel. You can post WHATEVER the heck is you wnat from your wedding whereever you want and if he doesn't like it then maybe he should have thought twice about bringing the chick! I wish one my guest would bring someone other than their spouse I would curse them out infront of everyone and kick them out the wedding! That is some mess! and if your FI is cosigning on it he's wrong as well because he is condoning his friend cheating and asking you to go along with it! That IS JUST WRONG IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD!

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    edited December 2011
    I'm totally in agreement, that is why I just had to post this to see if im selfish for wanting to post MY wedding pictures.
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    tamtam7tamtam7 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OMG!  I got heated when I read this post.  He has some nerve!  I cannot believe that he would bring his @#$! girlfriend to your wedding instead of his wife, and then have the nerve to ask you not to post pics.  Heck no you are not being selfish!  He's being selfish!  I agree with everything that Tinamm said.
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    TINAMMTINAMM member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No you are not being selfish he is just flat out wrong and crazy! You do not have to limit the images of your happy day for this jerk! POST EM GIRL!  MATTER FACT ADD ME AND ILL POST EM TOO!!!!!LOL!
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    edited December 2011
    WOW!!! that is wrong on so many levels, but you have the right to share your photos as you see fit it's YOUR wedding. If he is so concerned then he should come solo.
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    winter443winter443 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    WOOOOWWWWW! I cannot believe this!  He's asking you not to post YOUR wedding pictures because HE is being scandalous, hell no!  If he's not bringing wifey he just needs to come by himself instead of bringing the scandal all up in your wedding.  I can't believe he had the nerve to even ask that.  I would not even allow the chick to come.  I would say your wife is welcome to come and invited but not the sideline ho
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    KooKoo4QuincyKooKoo4Quincy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    See this is why I am thinking about becoming a vet! PEOPLE irritate the HELL out of me!!! How in the (bleep) could he even allow that question to roll off his tongue like that?? HOUSTON/ FI  WE HAVE A PROBLEM!! I am curious to know what your FI has to say about HIS BOY suggestion/question....this is your wedding not an social event for him & his chick to come speculate! If he wants to bring his girlfriend so be it but please advise your FI he needs to find a NEW BESTMAN!! Clearly this one has his agenda, priorities, values & respect (bleep) UP!! Then inform the Ex-Bestman that he can attend as a guest and to pay for his chick plate upfront...We don't accept IOU's, tell ya broad SOU!!!!

    My "O" is you really need to have a heart 2 heart with FI on this one and I don't know you personally but if FI sides with BM then maybe you need to re-evaluate your relationship...real talk! 
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    adgenyaadgenya member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Girl post your pics! If he is bold enough to bring his girlfriend to the wedding, he needs to be bold enough to face whatever his wife has to say about it. It's your wedding, your facebook account, and your pictures. He has no say to anything that you do with them.
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    edited December 2011
    I have four words for this guy..."I know you didnt?!?"

    He can't be serious...I'm curious too. How does FI feel about his friend? My FI had his player days (that's why it took me three years to agree to date him) and I am so glad they are in the past, however, it was never a question in my mind as to how he felt about the sanctity of marriage...I also peeped that about his friends. I'm not saying that your FI is scandalous just because his friend is, but talk to him about handling this situation the right way for you. It shouldn't even come back to you. This is your celebration of love, marriage, and MONOGAMY...his friend tried the h*ll out of BOTH of y'all by even thinking of bringing this sideline chick to your wedding and then he tried y'all again by saying limit your posting of your photos from your daggum wedding. You are already a better one than me for editing your friends list for him. Do you, get your FI to resolve this one, and tell the photographer to snap away on your wedding day!

    *whew*...I JUST got out of church, but this has me needing to repent yet again for all the bad words that are tip of my tongue.
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    edited December 2011

    He has no respect for marriage point blank! If he wants to cheat don't bring it to my wedding and out of respect for you guys he should not even bring the jumpoff. I would not say shitz to him and put his pic all over facebook. I would stress to him not to bring the girl or else, what happens if his wife found out and showed up at your wedding? That would make for a nice COP episode, you think? Is he not ashamed about this because he would be around mutual friends and you know people get to talking.



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    tyboydtyboyd member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know where to start. But Babe and I both said {I read it to him, too} that either both of them don't need to go or she doesn't need to be there. Does he KNOW how much photography costs and asks you NOT to post them?! He betta go somewhere!

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    OFFOFF
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Girl ignore him and post those pics!  He's a fool and he wants to get you mixed up in his lies and deceit.  Do not let this fool sad behind man get you involved in his mess!  Do not let his mess of life interfere with your great day. 

    You do not want to start off your marriage with drama lies deception! 
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    happe2getherhappe2gether member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Girl!! Oh Hecka Naw!! No he did NOT make that request.  I agree with EVERYONE else.  I WISH my FI Best Man would ask something crazy like that.  I'm old school - I would cuss his a$$ out and then make sure everyone got the memo that no drama like THAT was happening at MY wedding.  Seriously - that is just beyond rude! On the day you are to say the most sacred vows to your husband, he's asking you to blatantly disrespect both your new marriage and his failing marriage by bringing someone he KNOWS shouldn't be there.  He needs to keep that mess on his homefront, not yours! IF I was a messy person, girl I would have his wife there! But I'm not because you know it would be on and popping after that.  Good luck to you but I do agree your FI does need to talk to his boy and get it straight or just not be in the wedding. That's too much, too CRAZY!!  Good Luck!!  
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    mnm729mnm729 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow!  All of the ladies have already said it, but post what you want, where you want, when you want.  Do not allow his behavior dictate what you do.  I am so pissed by this request and wonder if someone that triffling should be the witness for your wedding.  Why should you begin your marriage with lies, deceit, and secrets?  Oh, my blood pressure is going up just thinking about it! 
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    edited December 2011
    WOW....like all the pp stated you need to have a serious talk with your FI about his friend/BM.  This is point blank disrepecftful and beyond crazy!!!  I am curious to know why isn't his wife coming to the wedding anyway?  My advice is not to let a no good a$$ loser bring that mess into your marriage, because he will.  If your FI friend wanted to show off his girlfriend will would be doing it at someone elses wedding not mine.  Post your pictures please!!!
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    edited December 2011
    How about reminding him that it's your wedding and what weddings and being married are all about. Don't let him restrict what you want to do.
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    edited December 2011
    Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I think the issue of posting pix is secondary to the fact that your FI wants someone who clearly doesn't respect the bonds of marriage to stand up for him. IMO, that's a much larger problem than whether or not you post pix. Were it me, I'd be looking for my FI to stand up for the institution of marriage and tell his "best" man that he either come with his wife, come alone, or not participate, but that you would not be colluding with his lying to his wife. I would be very scared if my FI would cosign in any way his friend's infidelity..
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    edited December 2011

    OOOhhh Heeeelllll NO!!! That is just plain trifflin. He should not even be best man!!! What kind of example is that? I think if you say okay to this it is almost like giving FI a pass to do the same thing to you one day. I would tell him to leave her at home. Plus who is to say that no one at the wedding will not already know he is not with is wife? And as another poster said what if  wife shows up or someone gets on their cell phone and texts a picture of the two together.  You don't want a hot ghetto mess at your wedding with a butt whooping on hand from wife. That would ruin your day. Anytime you have mess, it will bring drama TRUST! I would say that she is not invited. You are standing before God and this man is bringing mess into something that is suppose to be a holy union. Tell the trick to stay home!!! Post whatever you want on your FB ! This is your day not HIS! He cant have it his way. Do not let some sorry AZZ man control your wedding.  talk 2 FI about it.

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    csuperstar02csuperstar02 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Bringing up the rear in this convo, but I agree w/ VelvetElegance. There is something wrong w/ this picture if FI is willing to go along w/ this foolishness.

    Also agree w/ the other posts that of course you have the right to post your wedding pictures wherever the heck you want to!

    And if you happen to come back to the thread: am I understanding that you agreed to remove your FI as your FB friend? seriously? so this best man could bring his girlfriend and you still be able to post your pictures? and who is the "he" that says it's not good enough?

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    edited December 2011
    LOL!!! I agree with everyone! The dude got serious issues! Post your pictures honey and tell that cake to kick rocks!
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    edited December 2011
    I know I'm late, but I agree with the previous posts. You're not being selfish, you should post your pix proudly, and the best man should be uninvited to the wedding. If you're not willing to uninvite him, you should at least make sure he doesn't bring the sidepiece to your nuptials. That's just wrong on so many levels.
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    TysWife2BeTysWife2Be member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know I am late but H*LL NO!!!

    Post what the hell you want...

    And as some of the other ladies have said, you may wanna see what the deal is with FI...if he is ok with this, I would question his intentions...real sh*t...

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    edited December 2011
    I would post thepics and let him and his whore know that I was going to do it.
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    edited December 2011
    Girl, you got me WTF here... i can't believe the nerve of some people. He actually asked you this?

    I totally agree with the ladies.

    1. Don't start your marriage with lies and deception
    2. By you un-friending your hubby, you are agreeing to play part in covering up this mess. Do you hear this? You unfriend you future husband because you want to protect His BF affair? Girl, please. Don't play that foolishness
    3. I understand the ladies questioning why your Fi will agree to have someone who doesn't respect the sanctity of marriage stand up for him on his WEDDING day. They can still be friend, he doesn't need to be the Best men. that's a bit hypocritical.
    4.
    [QUOTE] If he is bold enough to bring his girlfriend to the wedding, he needs to be bold enough to face whatever his wife has to say about it. Posted by adgenya[/QUOTE]

    no go on and post all the pictures you want.
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    edited December 2011
     100% AGREE WITH PREVIOUS POSTERS...I 'm just glad you all said it 1st! I never knew a post could get me so mad!

    He brings his wife or no guest at all. YOUR wedding is not a free date for him and his mistress (that's what she is).
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    bbyckesbbyckes member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Um, that's his problem not yours.  I wouldn't even think about not posting my pictures because he's not doing right.  There is NO way I would be apart of this.  That is his issue with his wife to resolve.  I wouldn't even talk to him about this anymore, because as far as I would be concerned, this matter would be closed.
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    edited December 2011
    DO NOT co-sign on this foolishness and mayhem!!!!  If you agree not to post your pictures OR remove friends... or however the FB thing works... YOU ARE CO-SIGNING HIS SCANDALOUSNESS!!!!  What he his doing whether knowingly or unknowingly is dragging you, your FI, and your joyous occassion into some MESS!!!! and thats exactly what it is... Mess... Since he is man enough to "cheat', he is man enough to stand behind it.... Simple as that... The meer request is simple foolishness!!! and what is happening ...is that he is undermining your marriage ceremony and celebration..... How is the MARRIED best man gonna bring his GIRLFRIEND to the wedding of one of his nearest and dearest friends... and stand up in front of God and all the witnesses on behalf of him?  What's wrong with that picture?.... Whether they are together or not together is neither here not there... for whatever their circumstance is... from your post... he is STILL LEGALLY MARRIED.... If he could not agree to come to the wedding festivities ALONE!!!!  he would not come!!!  AT ALL!!!!  and I would let him know straight up.  I in good conscience could not go along with this... if he didnt come... then he didnt come...  Think beyond just the request... so from here on out... your potential wedding will be tied to some gossip and inuendo.....Because that's what the folks that know them will remember... and they will believe that you and FI knowingly went along with it... Not a good look.....Don't do it... RUN FOR THE BORDER!!!!  Nope... Nada... Not so much!!!!  What does FI say?
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    desi2002desi2002 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You unfriended your hubby on facebook b/c he told you to? Or did hubby tell you to? You need to talk to your man, like yesterday. HTH and please update.
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    edited December 2011
    seriously?!?!?!? WTF i agree with many of the pp girl... face the music..you made your bed so lay in it now!! post your pics and post em proud!
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    edited December 2011
    Umm, no, this is totally inappropriate and unacceptable behavior on his part.  First off, whatever his "situation" is, that has nothing to do with your wedding.  This is you and your husband's day.  If I were you, I would not only post the pictures, but also tag your husband in them and his friend would just have to handle his business accordingly.  If his wife found out, so what!  He's stupid for bringing the mistress to a wedding.  Does his wife not know he's IN a wedding?  WTH is going on there?  Where does she think he is going to be?  I'm sorry, I know I'm all late on the topic, but DAMN.  That's all I can say really.  Don't let this clown hold you back girl!
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