Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
African American Weddings
Help (Long)
In need of pure honesty from my AA ladies.
Many of you know after 14 yrs of marriage, my DH asked to remarry him, and he really wants me to have the ceremony I would have originally had. I want a "wedding ceremony" then a dinner & a movie themed anniversary party to follow, but on the net & TK there is conflicting info about vow renewal etiquette, I'M SO CONFUSED!!
Here's a little background on our original nuptials. My mom had a stroke & his mom took ill in Cali a yr before our planned wedding. So we used our wedding money to pay their bills...we were the only only one's to do this (12 children between the 2 moms). NO complaints 'cause we would do it again in heartbeat! So we JOPed it and it was fabulous! He did all he could to make that weekend special, and I wouldn't change it for the world, and although I never spoke or complained about it deep down inside I still wanted my Pretty Princess moment.
So last week while talking to MIL she let it slip that our mom's have been trying to make it up to us for years, but they just couldn't afford it..WOW was all I could say!!
So ultimately I need to know Is wrong for me to have a formal vow renewal? I want it in a church with attendents, a big white dress, etc. I also don't want anyone to be in a huge long dresses & suits all night so wardrobe change will be in effect, and the ceremony will be very short 15- 30 minutes top. The party is just that a party...we will have a toast, cutting of cake (small heart shaped cake & cupcakes), & mothers 1st dance, then 1st dance (milestone celebration) after dinner to get the party started.
So the past couple of weeks I've been talking to DH, my sister & mother & they all say we're paying for it do what you want, but my girlfriend said she thought I was trying to redo my wedding, which is not what I'm trying to do at all.
So last night I was off in space & DH ask what's wrong, I tell him about the delimma he says " we did the right thing by taking care of our mom's
in their time of need. You could have been selfish and said hell no we're having our wedding. That's why I love you, because you know family always come first & that's why you deserve & have earned the ceremony you always dreamed of".
Am I doing something wrong? Is what we want outrageous? Our family knows we been married for years so for them to think it's a wedding is a little crazy to me!
So what do you ladies think. I will asnwer any questions and reveal other ideas that I've been playing with if you need. Thanks bunches
Many of you know after 14 yrs of marriage, my DH asked to remarry him, and he really wants me to have the ceremony I would have originally had. I want a "wedding ceremony" then a dinner & a movie themed anniversary party to follow, but on the net & TK there is conflicting info about vow renewal etiquette, I'M SO CONFUSED!!
Here's a little background on our original nuptials. My mom had a stroke & his mom took ill in Cali a yr before our planned wedding. So we used our wedding money to pay their bills...we were the only only one's to do this (12 children between the 2 moms). NO complaints 'cause we would do it again in heartbeat! So we JOPed it and it was fabulous! He did all he could to make that weekend special, and I wouldn't change it for the world, and although I never spoke or complained about it deep down inside I still wanted my Pretty Princess moment.
So last week while talking to MIL she let it slip that our mom's have been trying to make it up to us for years, but they just couldn't afford it..WOW was all I could say!!
So ultimately I need to know Is wrong for me to have a formal vow renewal? I want it in a church with attendents, a big white dress, etc. I also don't want anyone to be in a huge long dresses & suits all night so wardrobe change will be in effect, and the ceremony will be very short 15- 30 minutes top. The party is just that a party...we will have a toast, cutting of cake (small heart shaped cake & cupcakes), & mothers 1st dance, then 1st dance (milestone celebration) after dinner to get the party started.
So the past couple of weeks I've been talking to DH, my sister & mother & they all say we're paying for it do what you want, but my girlfriend said she thought I was trying to redo my wedding, which is not what I'm trying to do at all.
So last night I was off in space & DH ask what's wrong, I tell him about the delimma he says " we did the right thing by taking care of our mom's
in their time of need. You could have been selfish and said hell no we're having our wedding. That's why I love you, because you know family always come first & that's why you deserve & have earned the ceremony you always dreamed of".
Am I doing something wrong? Is what we want outrageous? Our family knows we been married for years so for them to think it's a wedding is a little crazy to me!
So what do you ladies think. I will asnwer any questions and reveal other ideas that I've been playing with if you need. Thanks bunches
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Help (Long)
Our Wedding Site
Our Wedding Site
Regarding etiquette - You are allowed to wear the big dress and have the church/reception ceremony as long as you call it a vow renewal. I think you may have confused the comments on TK when people are already married and want to call their ceremony a wedding when it is actually a renewal.
Go for it and do what ever makes your heart happy!
[QUOTE]Regarding etiquette - You are allowed to wear the big dress and have the church/reception ceremony as long as you call it a vow renewal. I think you may have confused the comments on TK when people are already married and want to call their ceremony a wedding when it is actually a renewal. Go for it and do what ever makes your heart happy!
Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]
There are some vicious (have a better word but will probably be censored...lol) women on TK that have down right told me I had my wedding and that wearing a big dress, etc is tacky & I will look foolish even though I called it a vow renewal. That's why I brought the question to you AA ladies.
[QUOTE]Girl, do what you and your DH feel! This is about you - do not let these silly ladies on TK (or "well meaning" girlfriends) make you feel like you're doing the wrong thing. Have fun planning it, and I only wish you the best for your vow renewal!!!
Posted by cincy2011[/QUOTE]
Cincy...you sound just like my sister. Did you want to shake me too? LOL & Thank you!!!
Thank You ladies so much. I just needed Sista's I don't know to help me on this one. So I'm going getting back to planning now.
YOU LADIES ROCK!!!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help (Long) : Cincy...you sound just like my sister. Did you want to shake me too? LOL & Thank you!!!
Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]
Hee hee! Could you feel me shaking you through the computer?? LOL (j/k!)
Planning Blog Updated 6/2/11
If you want the vow renewal to be the wedding you never had, I said go for it!
[QUOTE]I think you should have the wedding that you want. I have been to vow renewals weddings before at church and reception to follow. I don't think there is anything wrong with it. If you and your husband agree, you should do it. This is something that you never got a chance to do before, I say go for it. You only live once. If you don't have the wedding you want, you will never forgive yourself. This is your time to shine, this is your time to let everyone know that you love your husband so much you want to marry him again in STYLE!!!! :)
Posted by msktn95[/QUOTE]
This......Congratulations on 14 years of marriage and happy planning for your "BIG DAY".
I'm sending blessings & prayers to all the AA ladies that your marriages are as blessed, loving, fun, fulfilling, strong, long lasting and drama free as ours have been.
Thank You for being my TK Sista's !!! Cause Ya'll ROCK!!!