Bridal shower...who pays?

MrsBoss2012

Have any of you had or plan to have your shower at a restaurant?  Have you gone to a shower at a restaurant? Who pays for the guests meal? Is it rude to ask someone to pay for their meal when they will likely be spending money on a gift too? Or is it expected?

Would you prefer having a shower with catered/homemade food or at a restaurant?

lcroster

I actually went to a shower on saturday at a restaurant and everyone paid for their own meal.  They let everyone know the average price of the meals on the invitation.   This shower was thrown by one of the bm with no assistance so it made since to have it at a restaurant.

My shower is this weekend and we are having some food cater and some will be homemade. My shower is being thrown by 5 people so they divided the menu up. 

I don't have a preference whatever is easier for the host. 

saharnshard

My shower was at a restaurant and the host paid for all the meals and beverages. She just chose a bunch of appetizers and we all shared them. If that's too much for your host, I don't see a problem with asking the guests to pay if they know beforehand. Also, I think having it in someone's house is a good idea because a few different people can bring dishes, which helps keep costs down.

MsAmeera25

My shower was at Cheesecake Factory, my Bms and mom paid for everyone's food. But most people came expecting to pay and were surprised when they didn't have to pay.

My shower was a surprise....As the bride I would have prefered a shower at someone's house simply because I wanted to play games and at the restaurant we couldn't do that. it was also cramped with food on the tables...I kept hoping from one end of the table to the other to talk to different people.

It felt more like a birthday dinner where people brought me gifts vs a traditional shower.

I didn't LOVE my shower even though I would never tell anyone but you guys lol I wish I had a do over. So it really depends on the type of feel you want. If you go with a restaurant go with a private room vs a private section.

pearls687

I have hosted a baby shower and a birthday party at a restaurant, but I would think the same could apply to a bridal shower.  They had a banquet menu and I pre-ordered from that.  For both, the food was beautifully displayed buffet style in the private dining room at the appointed hour and was more impressive than anything I could have done myself.  The banquet choices included popular appetizers and dinner items in large quantities from their regular menu plus a few non-alcoholic drink options.  It was less expensive and less hassle than having people place individual orders from the menu.   A few people ordered specialty drinks that were not part of the package, which they paid for themselves.  For everything else, I settled the bill at the end.  It was a perfect option for me as the hostess.

Carla1019

My preference is to have a shower in someone's home. But if it is in a restaurant than a private room is great too.

My shower is at my MOH house and one of my BMs is helping out. I'm keeping the guest list to less than 15 people.

Elizabeth80

Any showers I have been to at a restaurant as a guests I always assumed I was paying for myself. If I had to say what I prefer I would say I like either. Showers at a residence or hall seem to be more personal but I would not look down on the bride if she had one at a restaurant.

staten2012

I'm not having a shower BUT...my preference would be to have a home affair. My bunch tends to get a little "rowdy" lol, we might get kicked out some establishment especially when the gifts start getting opened
I've never attended any sort of shower at a rest. only birthdays.

ejagers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_bridal-showerwho-pays?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:a7ca9ac6-311b-4a97-90ca-70884f5bb280Post:3e46df1e-9a87-44cf-813c-046083622252">Re: Bridal shower...who pays?</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually went to a shower on saturday at a restaurant and everyone paid for their own meal.  They let everyone know the average price of the meals on the invitation.   This shower was thrown by one of the bm with no assistance so it made since to have it at a restaurant. My shower is this weekend and we are having some food cater and some will be homemade. My shower is being thrown by 5 people so they divided the menu up.  <strong>I don't have a preference whatever is easier for the host. 
</strong>Posted by lcroster[/QUOTE]

This!

RealHappyGal

I prefer showers at people's homes as well.  Esp if the person throwing the gig can not afford to feed the guests.  I dont mean to get all etiquetty but, as a guest you are already buying a gift, then u have to pay your portion of the party??  I'd attend this situation as a guest & not turn up my nose, but, for me I'd rather it at some1's home, with cooked or catered food.

egammo3

My shower is in a banquet room at a hotel only because there will be 50 ppl or more will be in attendance. The food is catered/homemade. My bridesmaids were in charge of the costs. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I found out because my sis dropped the ball... Long story.