Two Receptions

sweets18

So.... our guest list is entirely too large and we still have more people to invite so we have decided to have two receptions... one at the church immediately after the ceremony and our church pictures which we are calling the appetizer reception and then one later on with around 150 guests that will be a formal reception. Is anyone else having to do this? If so, how are you doing the invitiations?

RCLARO

Thats an interesting idea. But how can you do it with not miffing guest off by not inviting to the formal reception. Maybe you can just send out invites one with a reception card and the other with an appetizer invite card. But the will you need a doorman at the reception to see who has the card for the reception

monretta

My old pastor's wife did that.
It allowed the church family to come to the wedding with a short reception, but it didn't make them have to limit their formal reception later, but I agree it can be tricky.

Some people are easily offended, so I wouldn't keep it a secret I would be honest about the retriction and desires with both group of people.

I think Church family should understand (But lawd knows people aren't always logical)

:-)

sweets18

Lol... thanks... Yea the first reception is primarily for church family (our church back home and in the city we are getting married in) and the formal reception is for family and close friends. But I don't have a problem letting them know that upfront. Thanks ladies!

raganw

We're doing that!  We're wording the invitations in a way where we let people know we got married and we're celebrating with a huge party, and maliing them out the day before the wedding.   Doing it this way saved our wedding! 

TNMurray

My mom is doing this. I think it only works for church family. She didn'y mention any type or reception in the invite to the ppl invited to the cupcake reception at the church.

MAGNUM 06

Hi Sweets.... I agree with most of the PP... Do not include any formal reception information in the invites for those that will only be going to your cake and punch or as you say "appetizer" reception.  :-)  If there is no reception info included that lets folks know that there is either no reception or a "private" reception, so to speak... When you make the announcement to the church at large or place the information in the program, (everybody does it differently...everywhere)  that is where you would put or announce the cake and punch reception information and everybody knows that they can attend that.....  That way, no one is offended (so to speak) and everyone is and feels included in your special day..... Thats how we do it in the country... LOL!!!!

Hope that helps you.... and in most cases, when its done like this... no-one even questions it....

2010Bride2be

This is what is known (on the knot at least) as a tiered reception. While it's nice to 'want' to inlude everyone, why not simply invite who you can afford? IMO, your reception is like a gift to your guests thanking them for being there to celebrate the day with you. To have a tiered reception is like telling some guests thanks for coming, but we don't think that much of you to invite you to the dinner and dancing.

raganw

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_two-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:b517294f-a94a-4b1a-9dc9-05f9f48dd66cPost:4cc6b85b-14f1-483f-aa6c-a2479a00a0f7">Re: Two Receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]This is what is known (on the knot at least) as a tiered reception. While it's nice to 'want' to inlude everyone, why not simply invite who you can afford? IMO, your reception is like a gift to your guests thanking them for being there to celebrate the day with you. To have a tiered reception is like telling some guests thanks for coming, but we don't think that much of you to invite you to the dinner and dancing.
Posted by 2010Bride2be[/QUOTE]

I think it really depends on how you do it.  Our 2nd reception is going to have the same elements as the first reception (full dinner, full open bar, DJ/dancing, etc) just less formal and a lot more affordable.  Sometimes a 300 person guest list just isn't in the budget, so you just have to do what you gotta do...

2010Bride2be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_two-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:b517294f-a94a-4b1a-9dc9-05f9f48dd66cPost:bc75ca53-6d9b-4480-8f34-79531e047673">Re: Two Receptions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Two Receptions : I think it really depends on how you do it.  Our 2nd reception is going to have the same elements as the first reception (full dinner, full open bar, DJ/dancing, etc) just less formal and a lot more affordable.  Sometimes a 300 person guest list just isn't in the budget, so you just have to do what you gotta do...
Posted by raganw[/QUOTE]

If a 300 person guest list is not in the budget, then why not cut your guest list to an affordable budget? Either way, although I think this is all a matter of opinion and is probably acceptable and the norm in some areas, people could be offended if they come to your wedding and are only invited to a 'portion' of the celebration.

M1ssJ

I am doing  2 recpetions as well. I really wanted a formal sit down dinner but it isn't affordable with our 300 guests. Cutting the guest list meas excluding people we want to celebrate with so instead we're doing a brunch reception which everyone is invited to and then having a formal dinner recption for 50 which will only have family. I am including and insert in the invitation for the family letting them know there will be a black tie reception in the evening. I really wanted to partyb/celebrate with friends so the brunch reception will have the dj and all the  big stuff while the dinner will be much more scaled back.