Changing Your Last Name

saharnshard

I'm sure this has been brought up before, I want to know if you ladies are changing your last name.

I've been married for about two months, and I've made no effort to even think about starting to change my name. I want to, but it's not easy to let go of. I'm slowly getting used to the idea of being Mrs. Green, but not quite enough to make the leap. Hubs told me I don't have to change it, but I want to have the same last name as my children. I'm thinking it'll be done by the end of the year...I just need to send in the marriage license first (I know, I'm bad. I keep forgetting).

Is anyone else having a hard time adjusting or aren't sure if you're going to change your name?

20pearls16

I am definitely changing mine. I changed mine the first time I was married and I still have it. My FMIL asked me this weekend was I going to hyphenate my name. I told her no; what would I look loike hypenating two married names. I'd be on Maury. LOL

I did have a hard time thinking about changing my name since my children have the wasband's last name and my degrees and carrer has been built with the wasband's last name. I talked to the kids about me having a different last name than them. The girls said their names would change when they got married anyway. I was just going to use it for work purposes, but I feel that would be disrespectful to my new husband so I am dropping it altogether. I am looking forward to changing my name. I've printed out all the docs to do so.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:a2e77cb5-4315-4753-b353-404e3bde60f6">Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sure this has been brought up before, I want to know if you ladies are changing your last name. I've been married for about two months, and I've made no effort to even think about starting to change my name. I want to, but it's not easy to let go of. I'm slowly getting used to the idea of being Mrs. Green, but not quite enough to make the leap. Hubs told me I don't have to change it, but <strong>I want to have the same last name as my children</strong>. I'm thinking it'll be done by the end of the year...I just need to send in the marriage license first (I know, I'm bad. I keep forgetting). Is anyone else having a hard time adjusting or aren't sure if you're going to change your name?
Posted by saharnshard[/QUOTE]

It's for this reason that I probably won't.   Twirlygirl will be 13 when we get married, he has 2 children who don't live with us so I don't want to do anything that would make her feel like she's ever the odd man out.   When we talked about it he said either way it's up to you but if you do change it, you gone really start acting like the boss of me lol.   If I do decide to change it I think the most I'd do is hyphenate because I'm literally the bridge in my house.

MrsBoss2012

I am changing it. I don't even like my new last name but I can't wait to share a name with my future Hubby! He said I didn't have to but I'm a little old fashioned in some of my ways. I just feel like I will be leaving my father's covering and being under my husband and he deserves that respect.

Plus my middle name has my dad's name in it so it's still a piece of me heehee.

footballwife77

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:d11ace79-bd40-465a-9a07-92b26f1695d1">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I am definitely changing mine. I changed mine the first time I was married and I still have it. My FMIL asked me this weekend was I going to hyphenate my name. I told her no; <strong><u>what would I look loike hypenating two married names. I'd be on Maury.</u></strong> LOLPosted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

LMFAO!!!!! i'm over here ROLLING!!!!

Can you take on a last name? like sahara marie johnson jacobs? I just made that up. lol. I'm not changing mine. Fiance wants to change both of ours to AWESOME. I'm in more of a professional profession and wouldnt be able to say my name or introduce myself with a straight face.

MsAmeera25

I haven't changed my name yet officially just because I haven't had the time to go to the SSN place. I plan on going on Monday and getting it all done though. I have actually been looking forward to taking my husband's name.

The only thing I can't decide is whether to make my maiden name my middle name or drop it all together..

MrsBoss2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:23357af9-b587-4860-a401-faa64befe643">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't changed my name yet officially just because I haven't had the time to go to the SSN place. I plan on going on Monday and getting it all done though. I have actually been looking forward to taking my husband's name. The only thing I can't decide is whether to make my maiden name my middle name or drop it all together..
Posted by MsAmeera25[/QUOTE]

Your new name is so awesome! It has such a ring to it!

saharnshard

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:102b897c-382e-4663-9495-fdbf29d129d9">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing Your Last Name : LMFAO!!!!! i'm over here ROLLING!!!! Can you take on a last name? like sahara marie johnson jacobs? I just made that up. lol. I'm not changing mine. <strong>Fiance wants to change both of ours to AWESOME</strong>. I'm in more of a professional profession and wouldnt be able to say my name or introduce myself with a straight face.
Posted by footballwife77[/QUOTE]

Hilarious!

I probably could just add it, but for me, it's all or nothing. I'm going to keep my first and middle names and just drop my maiden name. It's just going to take some time.

20pearls16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:23357af9-b587-4860-a401-faa64befe643">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]The only thing I can't decide is whether to make my maiden name my middle name or drop it all together..
Posted by MsAmeera25[/QUOTE]

I use my maiden name as my middle initial. I did think about making my old married name my middle initial. I am still on the fence about that.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:102b897c-382e-4663-9495-fdbf29d129d9">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing Your Last Name : LMFAO!!!!! i'm over here ROLLING!!!! Can you take on a last name? like sahara marie johnson jacobs? I just made that up. lol. I'm not changing mine. <strong>Fiance wants to change both of ours to AWESOME.</strong> I'm in more of a professional profession and wouldnt be able to say my name or introduce myself with a straight face.
Posted by footballwife77[/QUOTE]


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missowens

This was a tough decision for me as well, just because of my ego and not wanting to change it.  Buttttt, I decided to drop the maiden and take FI's last name.  I typically go by my middle name instead of my first name, so I'm definitely keeping my orginial middle name.

msbdumas

I am definitly taking on the MR and my baby boy last name ! After talking to my oldest son he has my maiden last name I explain to him about changing mine and that he has to carry the maiden name on he was ok with that and says he understand. I said we will still be the Smith and Jones household tho and you are more apart of this family as anybody else..so MRS. D it is !

Dannitra01

I   used to say that I was going to hyphenate, but my FI has respectufully asked me not to.  Besides, that would be a mouth full. LOL. I know that I will miss my maiden name, but out of respect to him, I am not going to add the hyphen. I will probably just add it to my middle name.

msbdumas

Sultry...your little laughing man is too funny !!

Yolie1098

My FI really wants me to change my last name and not hypenate it and my son has his father's last name so I will change it.  If my son had my last name then I would have hypenated it. The good thing is I get to move up in the alphabet, I have always been at the back with both my last and first name....lol

pearls687

I've been married for three weeks and I've started the process, alebit reluctantly. I can't really describe how I feel about it except to say that it seems like more trouble than it's worth.  That's probably because it's my second time going through the name change, so my view is a bit jaded.  When you stop to think about it, you go into the ceremony with one name and come out with another but you're the same person.  It's weird.  All of a sudden, you just start referring to yourself and others start calling you something else. 

Trust me, I'm not at all mourning the loss of my old name (to borrow Soror B's term, it's my wasband's name), and I certainly understand why it's important to my husband, but it's a major inconvenience at my age.  Unlike the first time when I married [with nothing] soon after college, I now have assets and an established professional life.  Between all that, not to mention driver's license, passport, and so on,  I can't even remember all the places I need to change my name.  I'm just sayin, it really is a pain.  Hubby changed his bank accounts and beneficiaries and bam, he's done.  How is THAT fair?  Lucky devil....lol

I hate to admit it, but I'm a little jealous of the women whose husbands don't care whether they take his name.  A friend of mine got married this past December and she uses her husband's name socially but retains her own name legally and professionally, and her husband is cool with that.  (They are a lot older though, and don't care much about all the social standard hoopla, so there's that.)

Anyway, I'm feeling some kinda way about it but I've already completed step one at the Social Security Administration and I know I'll get used to my new name eventually.  It was never really an option to keep my old one anyway and I've never even mentioned any of this to Hubby.  However, my new running joke is that I'm going to be like Prince and just start going by one name or even better, just by a symbol.  What does it even really matter anyway, I'm still ME.    End of soapbox speech.  lol

OP, is there a time frame by which you have to send in your license after the marriage?  We had a year from date of issue to get married, but once we did, 30 days to send it in. 

thedivav

lol my FI is old fashioned i will be chaning my name

plus my last name is so common i am cool letting it go 

MsAmeera25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:f2cefd14-d3fa-4ad5-8754-3c0fbb0cfa72">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing Your Last Name : Your new name is so awesome! It has such a ring to it!
Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

LOL My husband keeps saying we are going to start a brand, and my job has been calling me P squared and PeePee lol its so annoying. I'm goign to tell people i'm a French princess

thedivav

when i was younger i didnt want to change it 

but my initials wont change my name is Moore his last name starts with M 

i

MrsBoss2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:d56a2429-ceaa-47ba-b860-8cd9cd01d89c">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Changing Your Last Name : LOL My husband keeps saying we are going to start a brand, and my job has been calling me P squared and PeePee lol its so annoying. <strong>I'm goign to tell people i'm a French princess
</strong>Posted by MsAmeera25[/QUOTE]

LMAO!!!

saharnshard

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_changing-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdca8a18-3698-4112-992a-988dbb82e45dPost:f5c76961-895c-4c19-bdd8-c71e0467dce6">Re: Changing Your Last Name</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, is there a time frame by which you have to send in your license after the marriage?  We had a year from date of issue to get married, but once we did, 30 days to send it in. 
Posted by pearls687[/QUOTE]

We we went to get the marriage license, the lady told me a story about a couple who realized that they didn't send in their license until 2 years later. She didn't say that it was a problem. I just looked it up and I don't see any deadlines. Otherwise, I'd guess we'd just have to do it all over!

LSAS

I will be changing.  I am old fashioned and want to take his name, plus my father has three sons to carry on his name so he is happy. FI doesn't care either way.

M1ssJ

I never even thought about changing my name which is horrible I know but after I got degree #1 I knew there was no going back.

I'm  J L. L. P-J  right now and quite frankly if we have children they will be my last name- his last name. I like the idea of passing both lineages down.

It is such a hassle and waste of money to me since once we're married ppl will call me Mrs. L anyways!

Sophia1913

So far the only change I've made is to my name on FB lol but I am legally changing but I've been lagging on doing it.  I just ordered our marriage license last week so once I get it, I'll be starting the process.

nitaashanti78

At first I considered hyphenating my name but that's too much to write, lol.  Plus I have a pretty common last name (Williams) so I'm okay with changing it.

HardyLove222

I will be changing my name. I wanted to hyphenate but FI said I either take his name or not -_-. I will be honored to take his name though. Good thing is that I will be going into law school with the change so no major worries.

Jana711

I started the process of changing my name immediately after we return from the wedding.  I personally couldn't see myself being married to DH, joining our lives together, yet keeping my maiden name.  It was also important to me that all members of my household (future children) have the same last name.  DH really wanted me to take his name, and I never thought not to, so it worked out for us.

shiravduncan

I am changing my last name. I just hate the fact that I have to learn how to sign it! It took me forever to get my signature just perfect!

MissusD1116

FI said I WILL change my name! Im like "calm down killa, I said i would"

I changed my name back after my divorce...im cool with it...

keyaira04

This has been one sore topic for me. Sorry for my vent in advance. 

Edit: shorten post

In "My Girl 2" the main character, Vada, talks lightly about the issue of unfairness to women having to change their names.

Vada: If I get married, I'll never change my name. 

Nick: Why? You think the guy should change his name? 

Vada: I don't think anybody should change their names, that way you can't find them when you need them! 

I agreed with Vada. I was 9 when this movie came out and every since then I knew I never wanted to change my name. And I said I would not do so when I got married. Summary why: My last name is very uncommon; I wanted to bring honor to it; my parents have done so much; I don't agree with the "its not Christian-like" argument; professionally I'm published and can be confusing to those following your research. Overall, I did not want to lose my identity.

But FI hated the thought of me not changing my name, the idea of introducing his wife by my maiden name and the mother of his children not having the same last name (which I can understand). He also hates the idea hyphenate. I would have 18 letters! Plus, I have been told it is really hard to unhypenate and drop your maiden name should you choose later in life.  

One day I had a conversation with my boss, legally hypenated but socially uses her hubby's name. She asked if it was really worth it for me to NOT change my name, as it would cause discord in my house and make FI feel the way he feels by not changing my name to his? It was the first time I really thought about him or our unity on the topic. I went back and talked about him and how he really felt. When he told me he felt hurt, upset, lack to respect & unity, I knew it was not worth it. 

For us, we have decided: I will take his name last, placing my maiden name as a second middle name and he would adopt apart of my name (which I can't explain). I plan to initial my middle names, as I do this now. Professionally for publishing, I would use my maiden and FI's name. It took us months to get to this place, but I'm OK with it now. 

eneh2012

I'm thinking about legally hyphenating my name for work purposes. My degrees etc are in my maiden name so I still want my name to have that clear connection. Other ppl have told me that with a hyphenated name theyve had no issue when they just used one last name on certain things. My thought is to just use my married name on like my checks and other personal stuff but hyphenate for work.