African American Weddings

Trying to keep my cool with FI's Family...very long. RANT!

Hi Ladies...I've posted before but I never really introduced myself.....I'm 28 and my FI is 34 we were together about 2 years before we got engaged. Side note: FI is the oldest child of 3 and both of his younger siblings are married and each have a kid. Also he has a large family( his dd has 6 siblings that are married with kids/grandkid) that live in the this means he sees them a lot.

FYI- I am blessed to have a Mother and Father to help with my wedding. FI and I are doing the rest.

His mother has mentioned for years that when we got engaged she would love to help me with the wedding, Monetarily and planning wise...I have yet to see any help. Since the beginning she has tried to give me "people that she knows" such as caterers...that I had to go through her to get to, photographers that didn't do extra's (e-pic or video) and a florist I never met. I took this as a sign and put her on a need to know basis. Basically with all her good intentions she hasn't helped at all. But she decided that she would take my E-Pic to get framed for the reception bc they "knew someone". I told her what I liked she sent me pictures and I picked one and she still wants me to come down in person to see. I'm thinking.....if I wanted to do all the leg work and still drive 45 min from my house...I would have done it myself. Then I find out that we accomplished nothing by her taking it bc we're payong for the why did she ask to take it? How can I say patience is running thin.

Then his Godmother...another "good intention" offered to plan my bridal shower (for the past 2 yrs!!).....but she wanted me to tell her everything I wanted so I said food, cake and drinks. I told her I was not in to Bridal showers but if she planned it I would apprecite it and enjoy myself. I guess that was too much bc my bridal shower got turned into a meet and greet for my parent's and his WHOLE family. So she made a comment that I didn't want one, so I decided it wasn't worth it and left the idea alone completely. But then I get a letter in the mail for a Baby shower that she's throwing her neice on the 12th. I know I'm not blood....but dang!! I guess I'm a little sensitive about that. Anyway........

My MOH is going to throw me no family shower on either side. I'm ok with this I'm just not ok with people saying one thing and doing another and my frustration seems to be seeping over into my genral mood which I think FI is picking up on. We've been kinda short with each other lately and he knows that I feel a little different toward his family than I did before. I guess I just hoped my experience would be different than most with the in-laws. So much for wishful thinking....blood is thicker than water!!
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Re: Trying to keep my cool with FI's Family...very long. RANT!

  • island07b2bisland07b2b member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Hang in there.  Weddings tend to make people/family/friends act a tad on the crazy side.  I am hoping to lay low with all of the family drama but we will see.  No matter what I am going to hold my ground on what makes me and the FH happy and bump the rest of the foolishness as much as I can. 

    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  

  • edited December 2011
    Sorry you're going through that. I too have different feelings towards some of FI's now. To be honest, even my "so-called" friends! Just enjoy the supportive people you have around you. FI "finally" got on my bandwagon of as long as we got each other, thats all that matters!
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  • prncszprncsz member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Completely understand what you are going through. During this whole planning thing I have learned to just continue on with my original plans and if someone comes through with what they promised or obligated themselves to do that's great if not I already have a plan b.

    My FI's mom went from saying she would host the whole shower to just down to bringing a dish. Which is why I am glad I never cancelled the original reserved place and told my MOH to continue with her orginal plans for it.
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  • BrideBling82BrideBling82 member
    edited December 2011

    I appreciate the thoughts ladies....I try not to have these feelings but I have them. I don't want to constantly bring up to FI how they have irritated me. Half the stuff thats said he doesn't hear I'm on my own. Then again he's a guy and I'm a girl....enough said. I will continue to breath....only 6 weeks left...I can make it!! Thank you's nice to know I'm not the only one looking at the in-laws and shaking my head lol!

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