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African American Weddings

I Can't Sleep

So, the insomnia is back again and I'm up stressing out about invitations, whether or not the envelopes look right, will I get everything done in time, etc.  And on top of all of that, FI calls me yesterday as I'm driving home from work to tell me that FSIL is coming to visit on Sunday and she's staying for a week.  WTF!  I just spoke to her the day before and she didn't mention anything about coming to visit.  I was a pissed.  We talked about it and I told him that he should have consulted with me first, and he said I know, I apologize but that he thought that she and I had already talked because I mentioned that I spoke to her yesterday.  But I told him that she didn't mention that to me and that if she would've called to say that she was staying that long I definately would have asked him first.  He said that he thinks something is going on and that's why she's coming last minute, because she sent him a freaking text message to ask him if she could come.  Background:  she's staying with FMIL, and she's slightly annoyed with her living arrangements.  Nonetheless, I told him that he needs to set boundaries, because we're getting married and this is my house too and I felt disrespected.  He said that he will talk to her about it, but I'm still pissed!  But what do you do?!  I guess this is the first test in our marriage.  I really don't think that he will talk to her, because he loves his little baby sister and punks out when it comes to her.  He said that he will clean up the house and help me with the invitations.  We'll see.  I told him that if it's not done by Saturday evening (she's coming Sunday) that I will be calling her myself to tell her that she needs to reschedule this little trip for another time.  I really don't like drama, and I like her a lot but sometimes she can be a spoiled little self absorbed brat!  And I personally do not consider myself to be a confrontational person, so I don't want to really deal with this, but if I don't nip this in the bud now, this will be a problem in the future.  Wish me luck ladies.  A whole week, ugh!

Re: I Can't Sleep

  • edited December 2011
    Everything will work out.  I know how you feel about guest just appearing on a short notice.  Sounds like this had made FI want to get a little more involved in the wedding plans.  You are right, don't get confrontational about the situation, allow him to handle it.  Tell him what you like or dislike about the way he handles the situation so that you don't look like the bad person.  A big tight knottie hug being sent to you this morning.  Relax and let things work in your favor.
  • TysWife2BeTysWife2Be member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Sorry this has happened to you but I am glad that you let him know that he was wrong.

    Even if she does still come, I guarantee you this will be the first AND last time that he doesnt talk to you first...
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  • edited December 2011
    Glad you talked to him and i hope he does come thru helping with the cleaning and the invites.

    As for baby sister, I say give her a chance. Maybe she feel more comfortable asking her brother than you... for now. But Fi is the one that has to keep her straight and maybe hint her like "next time, talk to Tamisha so you can arrange your visit, that's girls stuffs and she is better with scheduling anyways" or something like that so it doesn't sounds like he is "giving you control" or making his sister feel uncomfortable.

    As for you and insomnia, did you try all the suggestions we gave you last time?
    Wait till tonight and have fantastic make up sex with FI and it should put you to sleep :)
  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Tam, I'm sorry to hear this!  A week is a long time for a virtually unannounced visit, so I completely feel you.  Good for you for letting FI know that you felt disrespected b/c you should have been pulled in sooner.  As a PP said, I'm sure this won't happen again.  Try to enjoy your time with FI and his sister and hopefully it will turn out to be a good visit vs. her getting on your nerves...feel free to vent on the board whenever you need to blow off steam while she's there!  Our lips are Sealed.  LOL
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  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    One more thing...turn this into a positive by putting her to work on those invitations!!  I would make her the work horse .... LOL .... since she's there, she may as well make herself useful!  
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