Family Troubles-- Anyone?

MAF0030

Does anyone have issues with their parents wanting to push more religion into the ceremony? I am jewish and my fiance is Italian-Catholic (neither of us religious, more cultural). How have you coped with a pushy family who wants to fight for their culture over the other persons?

amilinia

Well I am a Buddhist and my fiance believes in god but does not need to seek him inside a church.  My father's family are devote Catholic's and my mother's side of the family would only step inside of a church for a furneral.

I have been struggling with my family espcially my father because I would like to get married at the Buddhist center. My father feels I should get married at one of Catholic church where he or his other sibling was married at. Where my other family members do not even want to go near the Buddhist center.

Remind your family if they are true and commented to their faith no matter what facility they walk into they will come out with their faith intact. Let them know that this day is for you and your fiance to develop your own happy memories. If they are paying for everything good luck because you will need it they will have their say in it.

In my case my family is hardly paying for anything so I can have strips if I want to lol.

fallbride1109

I had a big issue with my dad when I got engaged to my Jewish husband.  I tried to politely reason with my father but I finally had to say, enough, I will no longer listen to your opposition to my marriage and I will not tolerate any hint of prejudice or disrespect towards my husband and if you cannot refrain from doing so, then we won't be speaking anymore.  He backed off and things have been fine since. 

Sometimes you just have to be firm and say, this is what I have chosen, back off and deal with it if you want to be a part of my life.

Storytime

I'm culturally Jewish, FH is religiously Protestant.  I sat my parents down and had to remind them that it's the same God we're both dealing with, and that it's not a big deal.  Since FH is religious, we're having his pastor officiate, but talking to her about keeping it non-denominational (I'm cool with God, but I don't think my Jewish family wants to pay for a Jesus-heavy wedding).  Since he's getting the officiant, we're doing a simple, implied version of a chuppah (probably using some sort of potted-tree set-up since we're nature buffs).

My advice is, feel out from him (and maybe his family) what elements are most important to them.  Do the same with you and your family.  Then, find a balance.  Since the wedding is about you and your FH, not your parents and his, your opinions ultimately matter most, but it also means you should both have the customs and elements that matter to you.

taraowens1983

DO NOT LET YOUR FAMILY RUINE YOUR DAY!
I have been having similar issues and I am beginning to question the sanity and class of my family. I was really upset at first but I'm realizing there's nothing I can do and it reflects poorly on them, not me