South Asian Weddings

When you're feeling stressed...

When I'm feeling stressed and can't fathom the thought of leaving my nuclear family and American lifestyle for a house with my in-laws and beloved BF, I read this woman's  blog. She moved from Australia to live in Mumbai with her husband - she does her best to handle all the traditions and even refrains from referring to her husband as his name. She lives an Indian lifestyle while maintaining her sense of self, love of wine, meat, and western preferences and records it all in this blog. If she can do all this, we can surely handle in-law relations and culture clashes!

Re: When you're feeling stressed...

  • edited December 2011
    Great find!
  • edited December 2011
    Very nice!

    I guess I'm really lucky because we both live in DFW and our families have known eachother for years upon years. Her story is wonderful! I'll have to add this to my reading list.
  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    edited December 2011
    She really gives me a lot to think about!So does the authors of The Gori Wife Life and Big Bad Blonde Bahu.
  • edited December 2011
    Interesting! I feel like I read her story before, but I didn't know about the others. Will have to see what they're like as well.
  • edited December 2011

    The other one to keep you grounded with wedding planning is
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  • MrsBMMrsBM member
    edited December 2011
    I've read her blog before.  I was so confused about her situation!  (But now I get it lol)
    I think we all have her our own break points...I know I wouldn't have been able to handle all that she's done (and I'm Indian)

    I was born and brough up in a certain lifestyle that even my parents may frown upon me living as a conservative indian bahu...but kudoos to her for being able to do all of that!
  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    edited December 2011
    I've realized I'm not going to change who I am if I'm going to have to live with my in laws. I went there for a visit and before I did, my Mom told me to dress like I normally dress (tank tops, dresses, skirts) and behave like myself. I did. I didn't go there for a long visit acting like someone else. Now they know that I'm not like them in a lot of ways. I'm more liberal with my dress and my opinions, I drink, and I have an active social life but I still know how to reign in my bahu qualities for family functions and discussions.
  • temurlangtemurlang member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I finally had time to look at her blog...  thanks for posting this Sonali!

    It was so interesting because a lot of it of course I can readily identify with.  But some of her experiences are completely different too.  For example, my ILs speak perfect English, so we don't have trouble communicating.  On the other hand, there will be no bonding with MIL in the kitchen because neither of us are allowed in there in India!

    One thing that was completely different was that she mentions getting a negative reaction to their relationship from strangers (getting stopped by the police or not being allowed to share a hotel room).  I was really surprised because we didn't encounter that at all.  I'm not so pretty and "white" looking as she is, so maybe I don't stand out as much.  Also DH gets.his.way.  Always.  I can't even imagine someone telling him we couldn't share a room.  Holy crap they would regret it!

    I also want to assure all you girls that you don't have to and shouldn't change yourself for anyone.  Any relationship requires compromise, but that doesn't mean anyone has to give themselves up.  DH and I enjoy following multiple cultures... it just adds more elements to your life.
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