• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
South Asian Weddings

Help: I have party-loving friends

Receptions are different here than they are in England, and I know my BF's family will see a lot that they're not used to. They're a bit more lavish here and open bars flow easily. What I am worried about is my friends. I have a great circle of friends but they tend to let loose at receptions when there are drinks flowing. I do not want to offend or annoy my conservative guests, but I cannot really control what my non-Indian guests do. How can I express to them nicely that as much as I love them and have fun with them, I want to make sure nothing is out of turn and no one has too much. Sometimes dancing can get a little close and it's not really what my grandparents or family are used to. Does anyone have this problem with their fun loving friends who mean no harm?

What's a good way to express this to them without sounding like an overbearing B?

Re: Help: I have party-loving friends

  • temurlangtemurlang member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    This is most likely NOT going to be a problem.

    A lot of my friends are the type to get thrown out of clubs for passing out or fighting, but they wouldn't think to do that at a wedding.  It's a totally different occasion and atmosphere and most people seem to know what's acceptable.  In fact, the only drunk guy we had was DH's conservative friend (middle-aged, father of two, from India), who went a little crazy when he saw free alcohol!  I think Americans are usually more careful of their behavior when they get invited to a "non-American" event because they don't want to offend and aren't sure about the rules.

    That said, some precautions you might consider:

    -  ask the bartenders ahead of time to not serve people past a certain point of inebriation.  If there's a particular person you're worried about, let them know.  (My family does this with alcoholics).

    -  put someone in charge of the dance floor.  If the bumping and grinding gets out of hand they can ask the DJ to change the music to something bouncier or even cut in.  A careful playlist might eliminate a lot of that problem.

    -  if you have a friend who's really out of control, you could let someone know to keep an eye on him/her.
  • edited December 2011
    Temurlang gave great suggestions. Talking to the people especially vendors around you will help. We've limited our "grinding" music and did more Indian music or slow dance. Then have someone be an "unoffical" bouncer to just kind of watch your friends. Spread the word your family is conservative.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Help: I have party-loving friends:
    This is most likely NOT going to be a problem. A lot of my friends are the type to get thrown out of clubs for passing out or fighting, but they wouldn't think to do that at a wedding.  It's a totally different occasion and atmosphere and most people seem to know what's acceptable.  In fact, the only drunk guy we had was DH's conservative friend (middle-aged, father of two, from India), who went a little crazy when he saw free alcohol!  I think Americans are usually more careful of their behavior when they get invited to a "non-American" event because they don't want to offend and aren't sure about the rules. That said, some precautions you might consider: -  ask the bartenders ahead of time to not serve people past a certain point of inebriation.  If there's a particular person you're worried about, let them know.  (My family does this with alcoholics). -  put someone in charge of the dance floor.  If the bumping and grinding gets out of hand they can ask the DJ to change the music to something bouncier or even cut in.  A careful playlist might eliminate a lot of that problem. -  if you have a friend who's really out of control, you could let someone know to keep an eye on him/her.
    Posted by temurlang
    I totally agree with the bolded statement. You will be surprised at how people will ask you even the most mundane questions because they are afraid to offend.

    And like Tem said, if you're really worried about a particular set of friends or just a particular person, ask a trusted friend or family member to keep their eye on them.
    ExerciseMilestone
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards