Am I ruining "the moment"?

Hi Everyone,

So, although our wedding is about 18 months away, I can't seem to help myself from planning out details and thinking about the day (I am sure it's the same for all brides).

We are having our wedding on a Friday and having both the ceremony and reception at the same place (Palais Royale). Since it is a Friday, we decided to have our ceremony around 6pm to ensure that everyone can make it and have a cocktail hour after the ceremony, then go right into the reception.

As a result, I had planned on having most or all photos taken before the ceremony. I was mentioning this to some other people, and they looked at me like I had three heads. This of course means, that my FI and I will see each other before the ceremony. Am I ruining "the moment"? I can't really see how this would work out any other way scheduling wise. I figure what is important is the first time that we see each other that day, and make sure it's photographed. What are your thoughts on this?

Re: Am I ruining "the moment"?

  • ring_popring_pop member
    edited December 2011
    No! Smile We saw each other before I walked down the aisle.

    In a way, I think it's even better - you'll actually have TWO moments! The first when you see each other for the first time, and the second when you walk down the aisle.

    You can actually stage the "first" moment - have him blindfolded, or have him standing with his back to you until you walk up to him, whatever. That way you'll still have that element of surprise. I always find those first meetings are really sweet when they're capture on camera too. The other thing I like about meeting for the first time before the ceremony is that it gives you the opportunity to chat - you can tell each other how great you look, etc. You can't really do much more than whisper for a few moments when you're at the front of the aisle.

    I promise you that it won't make you any less excited to walk down the aisle! Even though we had been spending the morning and early afternoon together, I was  excited TO GET MARRIED.

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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree with ringpop! It will be a magical moment for you both either way you do it.  I think it would be nice to be able to chat and see each other before the aisle...and think of the great photos you could get!!  Everyone has opinions about how you should do your wedding, but that doesn't mean you need to listen to them.  I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing each other before the wedding! Go for it!

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  • raynesraynes member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    That's our (unedited) pictures from our "first look".  Since we had two photographers they had one upstairs capturing Derek and one downstairs getting me.

    It was a really sweet moment and I really enjoyed it.

    From experience, just make sure you book enough time to get all the pictures you want.  Everyone kept telling me that we had "more than enough time" but in the end, we didn't get as much as I'd have liked.  (Ceremony at 6:30, started pictures around 3, had to go into "hiding" at 6 since the guests were arriving, travel time and getting people organized just ate up too much time!)
    We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
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  • edited December 2011
    I totally agree with Ring_Pop & Raynes... there's nothing wrong with seeing your FH before the ceremony, and I personally liked it better that way. 

    For me it was priceless.... the most important person in my life saw me before anybody else, when my make-up was freshly done, my hair was flawless, my dress was perfectly pressed, etc.  I really wanted to look perfect for him, and we were able to share a very intimate moment where we just hugged and told eachother how much we loved eachother many many times. You don't get to do that when you walk down the aisle... at least not for as long as we did it in private ...and our photographer was able to capture that moment.  See some of my photos below:

    Good luck with the planning!!
  • miellenmiellen member
    edited December 2011
    I'm doing the same thing... at first I thought I had 3 heads, but logistics really prevent us from doing it any other way because we are having out ceremony right before cocktails too.

    Turns out it's totally acceptable and as everyone said above, it's still a great moment!!! I'm really excited because I won't have to rush around in between the ceremony and dinner, and we can go further away from our venue which is a bonus.
  • edited December 2011
    I wanted to do pics before the ceremony but my husband didn't. So I walked down the aisle and that's when he saw me (I saw him long before!). I think it was worth the wait to see his face, but if it hadn't been so important for him, I probably would have forgotten about it!
  • LittlinLittlin member
    edited December 2011
    I don't think its necessary to "hide" before the ceremony either.  With that said, we are spending the night apart just to give the boys and girls some space, etc., but I don't care at all if we see each other beforehand. 

    Our parents are more excited to see that "moment" that we first see each other at the church down the aisle and everything, but I am really liking the planned moment thing!  I'd rather have that moment privately than have to do it at the church in front of everyone AND to deal with emotions and nervousness (not of marriage, of falling down the aisle....seriously, I'm a clumsy one...) at the same time. I have so many pre-wedding ideas!
  • LittlinLittlin member
    edited December 2011
    PS - AuroraGirl - those are great "moment" pictures!
  • edited December 2011
    The best part about "the moment" is that it is your "the moment" so as long as you and your FI are on the same page, I say do it. The reason ppl are looking at you funny is because it is not traditional, but it is your day, so I say do it!! Besides, I think it might be a bit more personal if you do it the way you are suggesting.

    AuroraGirl - amazing pics! such a pretty bride!!!
  • silversparkssilversparks member
    edited December 2011
    Nope you're not ruining anything. The first time you see each other is going to be amazing whether it's before the ceremony or when you walk down the aisle.

    Do what makes sense for you logistically. We couldn't see each other beforehand for religious reasons, and it meant we had to really squeeze in picture time during the cocktail hour. If doing pictures ahead of time means you can have a more relaxed cocktail hour and reception and more time to enjoy being with each other and your guests, go for it!
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  • edited December 2011
    thanks!  our photographer was really excited to take these photos.  I guess it was easier for her to "capture the moment" without another 20-30 amateur photographers (aka family & friends) shooting their flash-cameras at the same time while you walk down the aisle.  

    Like I said, I don't regret it at all... but at the end is a very personal decision and I understand why some people prefer to wait until the ceremony Smile
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies!! I am feeling much more confident in the decision. I think it's the way to go. Auroragirl - I LOVED your photos.
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