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Christian Weddings

I don't think we have a date...

FI and I have been talking about a lot lately. We decided to wait until he got his debts paid off. They aren't much but with other bills (insurances, phone, etc.) he can't pay a lot on them and still put a lot in his savings account at the same time. So we had decided to wait until June 2014...Well we figured it up and he should have his debts paid off by December 2013...That would only give him 6 months of hardcore saving. I will be saving the whole time but he makes way more that I do so my portion isn't going to be as much.

We have now decided to just wait until his debts are paid off and we can afford a house. Like not cash for a house lol. Just an awesome down payment and without draining a savings account. This was why we changed it the first time but that plan just doesn't give us enough time.

Everyone thinks we are crazy for going from June 2013 to June 2014 already so I can only imagine the crap we are going to hear for going from June 2014 to "I don't know". I struggle with anger anyways so this is going to test me.

So I don't know when we are getting married...I just know that we are :)
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Re: I don't think we have a date...

  • Well, it sounds like a good plan to me!
    You don't have to explain anything to anyone, ever! You can just say that you have chosen to wait until you are both financially confident is someone asks.
    If someone makes fun of you or something, poke them in the eye balls. :)

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  • At the end of the day, it's your decision (and I'd say it's a pretty darn sensible one at that) so, nobody should really be giving you stick about it. You're doing things your way, and how you feel will be of best benefit to you. And that's great :)
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-dont-think-we-have-a-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:14c029ce-68a4-4c90-88e1-241bd87177a5Post:c6aec28c-b29b-48fd-ade2-5a25fe1061d2">Re: I don't think we have a date...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, it sounds like a good plan to me! You don't have to explain anything to anyone, ever! You can just say that you have chosen to wait until you are both financially confident is someone asks.<strong> If someone makes fun of you or something, poke them in the eye balls. :)</strong>
    Posted by peachykeen26[/QUOTE]

    LOL. I needed that.

    Everyone just keeps asking "When's the wedding" or "how's the planning going"...and it seems every time I talk to them the date is further away. So then they are like "Oh your not getting married if you are waiting that long."...Some chick I don't even know told me that "if you are waiting that long to get married, then you obviously don't love each other." ....Excuse me? People are dumb.

    I'm just going to start telling people that either we wait or they can keep us up with government assistant via their taxes :) That should shut em up real fast lol
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  • Whatever you want to do is cool with me. The only thing I question is whether or not you need a house right after you get married. There's nothing wrong with renting. :)
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  • I don't plan on getting a mortgage till I'm like 30.... Renting is so much easier :)
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  • We are buying. We want a house to raise a family in and we want to start trying for a family right after marriage. We don't want to move from house to house to house. 1 Home is the plan.
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  • You don't have to move from house to house when you're renting. We've been in the same apartment for over a year now with the plans to stay until we leave the area.

    Also - 1 house isn't always reasonable. Many people buy starter homes and then move up to bigger homes. Or they buy bigger, realize they don't need as much space and move to a smaller one.

    But whatever you want to do!
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    2010: 41 books, 2011: 31 books, 2012: 100 books
  • We want a moderate sized home that is large enough to accomate a family. Homes here aren't as expensive as some places. We know what we can afford and by waiting we can afford such. Some people like to rent, some people like to buy :)
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  • I'll say a prayer that people you tell will be understanding and that you guys will decide on the perfect date. Just trust in God's will.    :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-dont-think-we-have-a-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:14c029ce-68a4-4c90-88e1-241bd87177a5Post:90ea2f5f-9bd2-4cde-a276-f4335cd59247">Re: I don't think we have a date...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>You don't have to move from house to house when you're renting.</strong> We've been in the same apartment for over a year now with the plans to stay until we leave the area. Also - 1 house isn't always reasonable. Many people buy starter homes and then move up to bigger homes. Or they buy bigger, realize they don't need as much space and move to a smaller one. But whatever you want to do!
    Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

    Also remember that just because you buy a home does not mean you will never have to leave it either. FI just moved in with me and we are currently renting. It is nice. We have a nice 2 bedroom house in a good neighborhood. The economy has been tough so if we decide to move towards better jobs for FI we can do it without the hassles of selling our house or long commutes.

    The other advantage to renting is it is building both of our credits up. He did not have much outside of his student loans so we have a better chance of qualifying in this market. We had a hard time getting approved for a mortgage with 20% down and minimum debt because we really dont have much of a credit history. The mortgage broker told us flat out our best bet was to rent a year, pay our bills on time, get married, and reapply. And that is with me having one mortgage that I have already paid off and paying off my student loans. They said that actually hurt me.

    Do what works best for you. But it may not be a bad idea to sit down with a broker and see what you can do to be ready to prequalify.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-dont-think-we-have-a-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:14c029ce-68a4-4c90-88e1-241bd87177a5Post:2c898d5e-9e51-42ff-b3c9-9aa773358136">Re: I don't think we have a date...</a>:
    [QUOTE]We want a moderate sized home that is large enough to accomate a family. Homes here aren't as expensive as some places. <strong>We know what we can afford and by waiting we can afford such. Some people like to rent, some people like to buy :)
    </strong>Posted by SugarFoote[/QUOTE]

    same with us!  i was ready tog et married years ago but my fiance is sensible and knew that wasn't a good idea becasue we were students with part time jobs. 
    he was actually offered the job he has now a few days before proposing...talk about good timing on God's part! 

    i think it's smart to wait until you are financially ready to be married.  I have a friend who has been engaged for close to 4 years because they aren't able to live on their own now.
  • We are caught also in the Rent vs. Buy delema ... I just got a new job and i'm now closer again to work but would like to be closer but he is not close... plus i have school ...

    Do what you can do when you feel u can do it ... U could rent for just a year though instead of waiting ... I get  the house thing it's totally how we feel too [ and i have a kid already too so we know all about expanding ext ] But our timing is awful right now and we might not have a choice...


    Think of it this way ... Rent a year or wait another year to get married ?? Oye i waited a year too long myself ... Drove me nutz .. Now i'm finally 110 days away ..

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  • Have you spoken with a broker or lender?  I think it would be helpful, if you haven't already, so you know you need to have X saved in order to afford a house that costs Y.  Then you could figure out approximately how long it will take you to save X and at least have a tentative idea of when you might be getting married.

    After a 13 month engagement, I can't fathom a 2 year engagement, let alone something potentially longer.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_i-dont-think-we-have-a-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:14c029ce-68a4-4c90-88e1-241bd87177a5Post:841f43f1-032b-441d-aceb-64ecea37e2dd">Re: I don't think we have a date...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have you spoken with a broker or lender?  I think it would be helpful, if you haven't already, so you know you need to have X saved in order to afford a house that costs Y.  Then you could figure out approximately how long it will take you to save X and at least have a tentative idea of when you might be getting married. After a 13 month engagement, I can't fathom a 2 year engagement, let alone something potentially longer.
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    My parents have a lot of experience with this (one worked at a bank for a looong time and the other built houses for a looong time). They have talked to us about it. They actually have told us that we should have more than enough for a down payment by that time. I guess we are just freaking out about it. I do not want us to struggle. I want to be prepared.

    We both have stable, successful jobs. FI has amazing benefits and great insurance that I will be added to once we get married.  I will probably have to buy a new car between now and then but that shouldn't hinder us. We will be starting out debt free (well until we buy a house). We both have good credit.

    The thought of failure panics me.
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